Where's your limit? Would you kiss before engagement? Would you restrict how much body contact you have? Would you go away together but with seperate sleeping arrangements etc? They say that one thing leads to another. If you believe in saving sex for marriage, how far do you think it's sensible to go before your wedding day?
2007-09-02 10:40:32 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I think you're asking the wrong question.
One should never approach ANY temptation with the question of, "How far can I get before it's a sin?" Rather, one should say, "How can I minimize the temptation and protect the people I love from temptation?"
So if the issue is sexual temptation with a boy/girlfriend, the question should be, "How can I help this person, whom I love, avoid sinning with me sexually?" Then you'll know whether it's okay to kiss, hug, take a trip together, etc.
When I taught school, I used to tell my high school and middle school kids that it would be wise to make a list of all the physical forms of affection that they feel are okay before marriage (non-sexual, of course), and then prioritize them according to intimacy. They should also make a list of the relationship stages that they envision before marriage, such as 1. first date, 2. exclusively dating, 3. falling in love, 4. believing the relationship is permanent, 5. getting engaged. Then they should match the most intimate but non-sexual physical expression of affection to the last step before marriage and continue up the list, as a guidepost for them.
In other words, if you think that only kissing and hugging are okay before marriage and you do both those on the first date, you don't have anything to fall back on as the relationship progresses. Likewise, if you think that only kissing, hugging, backrubs and napping together are okay before marriage and you do all that with your first boy/girlfriend, then what are you going to do with the second boy/girlfriend in a relationship that is more serious and more mature?
2007-09-02 10:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by sparki777 7 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Personally, I don't think marriage should be the requirement for sex, love should. (Look at it this way, would it be morally better to refrain from sex with someone you loved, or have sex in a loveless-marriage?)
But that's beside the point.
Like you say, one thing leads to another, but it depends on your own will power, and how far your partner is willing to go.
I reckon it would be sensible to keep everything below the waste for after marriage (or love, or whatever your bench mark is) and only go as far as you both feel comfortable with within that.
2007-09-02 10:48:40 · answer #2 · answered by guest 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
That is a question only you and her can answer. If you want others opinions then you are not old enough to handle your life yet. No one can predict the moments of two who feel the energy of there needs at any given time so talk together and dont be afraid to be open when you do. Love is a strange animal and today its on fire, tomorrow its cooled down. Wait to see if it is alive in you and her at a later date.
2007-09-02 11:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by beaudrycharles@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go as far as you want. If I'm an adult. We are in love have been together for at least 2 years and are planning on getting married. I have no limit. Being a virgin isn't that big of a deal. Seriously.
2007-09-02 19:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you must have sex before marriage make sure
1) you don't keep the vicar and the congregation waiting;
2) you use contraception, there are far too many little bastards born out of wedlock in this country as it is.
I know all the unmarried mothers will not like their sprogs being called bastards, but that's what they are...illegitemate...look the words up in a dictionary.
2007-09-02 11:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Depending on your age, and if you are "saving it for marriage" I don't find anything wrong with premartial sex, it is really a personal matter and no one should tell you else wise. I have had multiple partners before my wife and she had a few before me, we have been together 8 years married 6 and get along very well.
2007-09-02 10:46:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Go as far as you want.
However, keep in mind that you want to protect yourself from 3 things: 1) STDs 2) pregnancy and 3) emotional heartache.
The first two are easy to prevent: condoms.
The last is a little tougher. Only you know what conditions need to be in place for you to guard your heart (and the other person's).
I'm glad I didn't wait for marriage. Marriage is very over-rated, in my opinion. It's okay but it isn't that great.
2007-09-02 10:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by catrionn 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I think in this day and age it is unrealistic to expect people to save themselves for marriage, though the idea is nice. However, having said that I don't condone jumping into bed straight away. I think it is important that you are only have a sexual relationship with some one that you care deeply for.
2007-09-02 10:45:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
As a girl speaking,I can say,I think the things that you are doing now are going to fast.Slow down,you dont have to marry right aways,I hope.Get to know her really great,and the question is would she want to marry you?
2016-05-19 21:19:18 · answer #9 · answered by tyra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe marriage is right for me. I've only ever had sex with one man, that is the person I've been with 3 1/2 years, no problems. We've never gone to get that piece of paper, but as far as we're concerned that's fine. So, no I didn't wait.
...Not to mention, you need to get to know someone-- and all of their fetishes, possibly dangerous ones-- before you committ a life to them.
2007-09-02 10:47:38 · answer #10 · answered by mathaowny 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋