What do you do to keep your sanity? What are some of your stories? Me and my ex broke up in July and I am 8 1/2 mos preggo. I am okay to take care of my son (financially), but I have no family nearby, lots of close friends. The deadbeat dad will be brought to court once my little one is born. It's been a tough road trying to deal with the emotions of this and realizing that he is a total loser. I'm still working fulltime, in school, going to the gym, reading and trying to keep it together. I know things are going to be okay. How did you all deal with this and other situations? I just can;t believe that some people would leave us in this position because of selfish reasons. My ex admitted he cheated on me .. In an E-MAIL!! He was too much of a pu**y to tell me in person. To think that he could have exposed us to something makes me sick. He was also abusive at times when he had been drinking to, so thank God he's gone. It sucks becuase I still have feelings for him.
2007-09-02 10:40:32 · 10 answers · asked by pussnboots333 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Okay, all single parents (male and female)
2007-09-02 11:07:40 · update #1
If this is your first child, you and your son will experience this transition together and make your own rules as a family! It will be both exciting and exhausting, but you two will come out of it stronger and happier. You will survive!
That said, you will always have feelings for the jerk who impregnanted you (good and bad), but that's normal. And face it, your child will be better off without his drunken abusiveness. You may want to start documenting (tape recording his tirades, keeping a journal of his contact with the child, etc.) his actions now so if he seeks custody (so he doesn't have to pay as much child support), you'll already be prepared.
Look into counseling/support groups because it'll help you to quickly recognize and get past his abusive/manipulative tendencies, and to deal with being dumped at this vunerable time in your life.
Good luck!
2007-09-02 14:12:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been divorced for several years (about 8 actually). My ex and I have four children together. Ages range from 14 to 24. So far so good. Recently (in the past year and a half) I have been dating a man and I became pregnant. We now have a six month old who we enjoy immensely. He has three other children from three other separate relationships. I was present in his life when his now 18 month old son was born. He has not seen or heard from two of his children in the past year and the third one lives about 600 miles away (he sees her infrequently, but she calls often). We finally decided to call it quits when I found emails to his brothers wife (professing his love for her). That of course is another story...any who...I filed for child support and the order was recently approved. He said to me that he wants to seek an order for child visitation and only see our daughter one day a week (he was seeing her everyday). So in the next week I have to advertise for a sitter, interview, and find the money to care for her while I work. He is acting out of selfishness and I am very angry that he is taking it out on our daughter. I wish he would see the light at the end of the tunnel...but I seriously doubt it. I hope we can remain civil but how? I know that I still love him, but at some point I must seek reality or be caught on this hamster wheel forever. What to do what to do...I look forward to being a part of this forum for advise and and answers and just being able to sound off.
2007-09-03 10:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by majjik102 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!!! Okay, with a baby you need TONS of support. I became a single mom after my son was 18 months. Get a nanny if you can afford it. Not full time of course but someone who can help out a few hours a day so you can unwind and catch yourself (maybe nap for 2 minutes).
Other than that all I can really say is watch for signs of Post Pardum Depression. I had it and was afraid to be alone with my baby. Take all the help you are offered and DO NOT feel guilty about it. Parenting is tough, exhausting, confusing, and the more support the better.
Good luck.
2007-09-02 10:49:03 · answer #3 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As a mother of 2 kids. I had my first at a young age. And the father walked away from it and It was hard at first but trust me if you are doing the right things with your life God will make away for you and the child. As for going to court trust me if I could go back I would have never took him to court the child would have never known her father cuz he is a dead beat dad.
2007-09-02 12:18:16 · answer #4 · answered by sleepyhead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His child isn't even born yet he might not be a dead beat dad. Him exposing you to risk was evil but he might still love and support his child. Maybe he told you instead of having sex with you after the other women to protect his unborn child.
I would worry more about him being abusive and drinking if he wants to have visitation with his child. If you think it would endanger the child you might try to make sure he is only allowed supervised visitation.
2007-09-02 11:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too, was a girl in a relationship (with my first love) that was abusive and he cheated on me all of the time with his ex--( I found out from her when we became friends). I had 3 kids with him by the age of 19. 1,2 and 3!!! Somehow I got through it and got over him. It took awhile but just remember that you need to be happy with you and that you are better off without him. Stick in there girl!
2007-09-02 11:15:01 · answer #6 · answered by aquamom4life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make friends w/ other single parents... it will help. then U can exchange days of babysitting w/ them...the most difficult part is not being ugly & learning how 2 share when U have 2 share w/ him & not allowing him 2 continue manipulating Ur world. good luck.
2007-09-02 16:52:02 · answer #7 · answered by katwaxr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are so dumb and have no balls. im young i dont have a child either, but my mom is single and shes been divorced for around 4 years. i think it will be hard but you should try to not have feeling for him, and if he comes back dont let him in. take his asss to court and get some money from him haha.
2007-09-02 10:56:28 · answer #8 · answered by Dystany Loves Ryan <33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couldn't you ask single fathers their opinion also? I raised my 2 children my self.While the bio-mom was getting drunk every day. deal with it babe
2007-09-02 10:52:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
im terible I have a 10 year old 6 year old twins and im pregnat again. My parents hate me so they wont help! Hell
2007-09-02 10:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋