Self-harm ... what is it? and how can it be helped?

Question

What is defined as self-harm? For example is scratching eczema considered self harming? Also how best can one help a friend who has admitted self harming, wants help but doesn't want to go through all the details of what's been happening? I know self harm can become a habit, and people revert to it as a release for stress and distress etc. How can this be broken so that it is no longer almost a natural reaction to take it out on yourself?

Answer 1

Self harming can sometimes be a way of releasing the stress the person is feeling and taking out an anger on themselves. The eczema scratching can be considered self harming if the person is doing it to make it bleed and therefore hurt themselves rather than relieve the itching of the eczema itself.
The best way to help someone is difficult because it will involve the self harmer having to work out what is causing them to be so distressed inside them (like in thier mind) becasue when the root of the problem has been identified it can start to be solved. The person usually self harms because they dont like/ cant explain how they feel on the inside and its a way of releasing it.
You can ask your friend to do something else each time they feel the need to self harm eg, hav a bath, go for a walk, ring u up, etc, distract them away from wanting to hurt themselves and get them to discuss thier feelings, why they r upset or angry or self hating - what has triggered it?
You want to help your friend but unless ur friend wants to be helped its difficult to because they need to take the first step in addmitting what is wrong. Just remind them a problem shared is a problem halved.
Good luck, hope this helps

Answer 2

Scratching an irritation is not self-harm, even if taken to the extremes of scratching through the skin. This is a response to the external stimuli. This can however, lead to secondary infections and other health issues and should be controlled as much as possible.

Self harm is the deliberate injury of oneself by hitting, banging, cutting etc... in response to internal issues.

Most frequently seen is young people, especially teens, cutting themselves with sharp objects, i.e. razorblades.

Most people need the assistance of a mental health professional to control this activity. It is not something that is easily stopped on your own. The primary step is to find the underlying issue which has precipitated the self harming habit. Many times people trained in behaviour modification will work with the person to decrease and stop the behaviour if it is habitual, but most often counselling and resolution of the underlying issue becomes the key to treatment.

Answer 3

I self harmed when i was a lot younger... cutting my arm up. It was a release and helped me feel better. Mine wasnt servre, although i still have the scars visable. I saw a couciller for a while and there advice was that if it made me feel better and i wasnt putting mine or any one elses life in danger then its ok to carry on doing it.
Only advice i can give is to be there for your friend and try not to get angry with them about this although you will find it hard as well as frustrating. Just dont push the issue and dont make a big deal out of it.

Answer 4

Normal scratching isnt self-harm even if it makes a mess which it usually does. Self harm doesnt usually go away without professional help or support. Sometimes its easier to open up to a stranger than to a friend or family so it might be easier for her to see a doctor

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Hi, I'm so pleased that you are looking for information and seeking a way to help your friend.

People self-harm in various ways and for a whole host of reasons, but usually because they want to regain some control over at least something in their lives, and to them hurting themselves may seem to be the only way to do that.

It's very hard for anyone who has never been in that position to understand, but I know from personal experience, that it is for some people a coping strategy, not a very positive one, but it is their way of trying to cope.

Here is a link to the Mind webiste:

Understanding self-harm:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm

the information is easy to read and understand and will hopefully give you some advice and guidance on how to help your friend.

A good idea would be to see if you can support and encourage your friend to see their GP. You could offer to go with them, you can go in if they feel OK with that, or wait so that at least you can support them on they way home. A GP may be able to put your friend in touch with a counsellor who will be able to help.

Another suggestion would be for you to see if there is a local mental health charity in your area:

http://www.mind.org.uk/Mind+in+your+area/

they are much more informal than the health services which may prove less daunting for your friend. Again you would be able to go with them to offer support if it would help.

They are used to dealing with people suffering from all kinds of mental distress and do this on a daily basis, they are friendly, understanding and will not judge your friend. It is a safe environment for your friend and one where others will be going through similar experiences.

If you can encourage your friend to keep talking to you and do your best not to blame or judge them for what they are doing to themselves, then you will be offering great support. Knowing that you have someone to talk to who isn't going to tell you how stupid or bad you are for self-harming can be a great relief to the person doing it. Especially if they have feelings of guilt afterwards.

Hopefully some of this information will help you to help your friend.

Take care and good luck to both of you.

Answer 7

I do when I am very angry and don't show it. You need to find an other constructive way to express that sadness and pain. because mutilation will leed to nowhere. Right now I have stop feeling that relief when i harm....You need to accpet the fact that she has passed....Try to let go and move on because you havent, it is right to mourn , feel devastated, cry but not cut over your niece; it's not right for her. let go, that doesnt mean forget but letting go of all the pain and sorrow.... Take care

Answer 8

As a mental health professional with 20+ years experience, I can recall one young person who was my most severe case of self-harming, and the highschool student kept cutting the palms of his hands with a single edged razor blade so much so that during the initial phase of treatment in an outpatient setting, his hands got to looking like someone had put them through a meat grinder, and at one point he began cutting his face. So, we got him some inpatient treatment that helped a bit, but, let me tell you what REALLY helped him. His nurses and myself took a special interest in him and encouraged him vigorously to continue in highschool, even after he moved from our town to a major city. His progress was sporatic, but finally he graduated from the "big city" highschool and the two nurses and I attended his graduation. And we made sure he knew we were there, as we had promised him months earlier, even though the graduation was a multi-schooled graduation in a big auditorium in the downtown area. I never knew those two nurses had such powerful lungs, but I doubt I could be heard above them as they gave him the biggest two-person cheer I'd ever heard, and I've been to major league ball games in domed stadiums and open-aired stadiums. And he actually heard us and waved to us. What is it? You answered it yourself when you said ". . . people revert to it as a release for stress and distress, etc.." How can it be broken? Well, the nurses and I never published a professional article or book on our "treatment" of the young man, but I can tell you that with the power of our uplifting intervention, we could've overturned the devil himself, and that's no joke. I don't think any treatment facility could afford the type "intervention" we provided (and the trip to his big-city graduation was on our own personal finances anyway), but I can assure you that he never got better medication or better counseling in any of our licensed treatment facilities, and I truly pray he's been doing good all these years since we last saw him, which was about around 20 or so years ago. God Bless you.

Answer 9

Therapy helps things like this. Seriously, I know some people don't like to think that they need help, but a friend can't help this person, only a professional can. Get your friend some good recommendations for a therapist! Good luck!

Answer 10

self harming in it's former definition before it was part of the emo scene is when you are deliberately hurting yourself to cover up hurt you may be feeling for any other reason!