I have very bad self-esteem (I think I'm ugly, I'll never have a bf). I'm 14, is this normal for my age group?

Question

Or do I need to get some councilling?

Answer 1

Bad self asteem, thinking your ugly, totally normal for a 14 year old. Try not to be normasl though, what good will normal do you? I bet you look fine, even beautiful. Every time you look in the mirror, intead of saying, "gosh, my chin looks big," or "My nose is shaped funny..." Then think, "Love those cheeckbones." or "I have really nice eyes I guess." Start forcing yourself to count the blessings. Think of things you are good at too. Maybe your doodles are great, you have a nice voice, you can play soccer better than any guy your age, I don't know what you're great at but everybody has something. Find it and focus on developing it.

And boyfriend? I'm almost 16 and I've never had one. Nothing wrong with that.

Just think of all those terrible things you are missing out on... Breaking up, heartbrake, stupid fights with the other girls about some boy, sharing your soul only to have it stamped on, giving your body away to someone who won't respect it... poor, poor you.

Not saying that boyfriends are all bad, but you're only 14, what's the rush? If some really fantastic guy blows you off your feet and you know him well and everything's good, go for it, but untill that happens, why don't you just concentrate on your life and developing as a person while you wait. Theres plenty of time.

God bless, good luck to you.

Answer 2

Well, I'm not your age, and I'm a guy, but I helped raise 5 daughters. It's been my experience that we all get self-critical at times. Why do you have low self-esteem? Have you never worked to get a grade? Have you never accomplished anything, or even given it your best effort? If you have, then you can decide if you should hold yourself in high or low regard. If you haven't, this is the time of life when you should set some rules for your behavior, and make plans for attaining goals. With every success, you have reason to raise your esteem level. Notice that I don't say listen to somebody else--that isn't self esteem, that's esteem from outside yourself. Remember, you may try and fail, but so has everyone else; it's our greatest and best learning experience. As far as being ugly, tastes in beauty vary by individual and by culture, so maybe you're buying what TV is selling as beauty, but did you ever notice how bland TV is? I like character myself. You're 14, normal, probably healthy, and don't know what the future holds. Relax. I'm 55 and I don't know what the future holds either, but I know it's a heck of a ride, full of ups and downs, good and not-so-good, but write me in 20-30 years and let me know how it goes. Have fun, good luck, and don't forget to smile when you look back on this.

Answer 3

It's TOTALLY normal, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's right. I'm 14 also and have never had a bf. I'm constantly tempted to compare myself to others, people who are prettier, skinnier, smarter and cooler than me (i.e. girls w/ bf) But you have to remember that God your parents and your friend love you just the way you are, even when you don't. If you have thoughts of hurting yourself than I say counseling is a good idea, but every girl goes through this at one point or another. Just remember the truth: you are an ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL person when you simply be yourself!!!

P.S. Go to your Mom, she'll know exactly what you're talking about and be better than any councilor!

Answer 4

It is perfectly normal for people your age. You have to not let it effect your life too much and know that it will go away.
On the other hand if your school or whatever has a councilling service then it would be worth talking to them. Or you could talk to a close friend or a fmaily member. Good luck.

Answer 5

I am the same age as you and i was feeling down in grade 6 , you might want to see someone just to express your feelings and talk to because i have friends that did that with the school helper. Don't feel badly about your-self because you sound very kind and you probably are very pretty. If i were you i would think about who my "friends" are, if they are good people or not. A video i love to watch is called "the secret", it is a DVD about how to live successfully no matter where you go in life. I hope i have helped. :)

Answer 6

Yes, it's normal. You are comparing yourself to TV and movie stars. And let's face it, most of us don't look like they do. You don't need a boyfriend and the problems that go with that at age 14. You should be having fun with your girl friends at the Mall, participating in sports, exercising, and having fun. Don't rush your life.....enjoy yourself right now. You don't need counseling, you are just like every other 14 year old girl in the world.

Answer 7

Yes, it is normal for teen girls to struggle with self-esteem and emotions, but if this gets out of hand, such as you getting depressed or thinking about hurting yourself, you should immediately talk to an adult you trust so they can get you the help you need.

Answer 8

i am your age and i also have a very low self-esteem and i have never had a boyfriend too. i think the low self esteem is because of how teenagers sometimes treat eachother. they can be really mean and for no reason. i think getting counseling wont hurt, but i think you will be fine without it too. whatever you think would make you happier.

Answer 9

It's very normal, don't worry! You probably aren't ugly at all. Just remember that you are a good person and what other people think isn't usually important. Don't down yourself.
=)

Answer 10

Yes normal,but you'll grow out of it,usual girls that think that way are very pretty and i think you probably are,be around encouraging ppl and not the negative ones!