I was casually dating a guy and it turns out we we'rent right for eachother so we have decided to be just friends. I look back now and I wonder if I was too smothering. Here is how I was:
His office was across the hall from mine so about everyother day I'd stop by and say hello, this went on for about 3 weeks. When I stopped, he started stopping by to see me.
After he had started calling me on a regular basis I'd call him once or twice a week on my own.( usually I wouldn't call on the weekends cause I didn't want to smother him) I always showed that I was happy to see him and happy to hear from him. But then eventually things started to dwindle (I didn't try to fix it cause I didn't want to chase him, I just let it take it's course) and we realized that for some pretty significant reasons we were better off as friends. Was I smothering?
P.S.
The way how we actually started dating was he found out I had a crush on him. he's 31 I'm 19.
2007-09-02 08:04:19 · 16 answers · asked by candiecorn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
lol yes that was
hope it is ok
2007-09-02 08:07:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, you weren't smothering at all. Calling once or twice a week and visiting his nearby office every other day is nothing like stalking. If anything, it didn't show that you were completely into him. If you were "dating" as you say, if it were me, I would want to have lunch with the guy hopefully everyday. Might as well take advantage that you work together. I can't help to wonder that the age difference led to the miscommunication. Anyway, since you are just friends now, don't even bother on how overbearing or distant you were. It doesn't matter, and for the next guy that comes along, just be yourself. Open communication is key!
2007-09-02 15:13:18 · answer #2 · answered by TinyTears 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were the guy I would interpret your way of "not smothering" me as indifference, especially in light of the age difference.
Sorry, I'm just giving you my honest opinion.
Again with my opinion. If it was me and you asked me for coffee and laid it all out like you did above I think I might be inclined to look at you from a slightly different perspective. I.E. I don't think it is too late for you to take another run at this guy. But, time is flying so don't wait too long.
2007-09-02 15:36:01 · answer #3 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since I don't know either of you, I can only tell you how I see it based on what you have said.
I am sorry but, maybe he came to his senses. At your age, the difference in ages is too great. (Though I've noticed that a lot of guys don't grow up that quickly.)
At 19, I think you should basically stick to guys no older than maybe, 25. With this age difference, you would more likely have things in common.
(I'm am not saying that some relationships with big age differences haven't worked out but, they usually are not the norm.) Think about it, that's twelve years difference.
If you are still friends, stay friends. You never know what the future may bring. A lot of strong relationships have started from friendships.
2007-09-02 15:30:10 · answer #4 · answered by Lorelle F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did just fine! And, no, you weren't too smothering. For, whatever reason, the romance slowly dwindled. Sometimes, for no reasons, a relationship takes a different turn. You'll find someone else, or eventually one of you will rekindle that first spark.
2007-09-02 15:16:32 · answer #5 · answered by Pinyon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you were smothering. Guys (that much older) love the attention, so he enjoyed while it was there. But he and you have two completely different mind sets right now. Find someone else around your age to hang out with and let him do his thing. Seriously, not scolding or anything, just honest!!
2007-09-02 15:10:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you were smothering him... sometimes things just don't work out... and it sounds like you were anxious about the situation to begin with! Don't try to make situations work- just let them happen! Don't worry! I've definitely done this before too....
2007-09-02 15:10:07 · answer #7 · answered by Me! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You weren't smothering him at all. You're just at different places in your lives. It's ok.
2007-09-02 20:26:10 · answer #8 · answered by Molly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm mean there's a pretty big age difference and that's probably why it didn't work out but otherwise i don't think that was smothering him. it wasn't excessive or anything.
2007-09-02 15:08:38 · answer #9 · answered by Aly 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't sound "smothering" -you are just VERY YOUNG!!!!
(...19 year olds have "crushes" -31 year olds don't have "crushes"....not if they're 'mature' 31 year olds...)
2007-09-02 15:20:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
with what you said that's anything but smothering
2007-09-02 15:13:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋