I always argue with my mother; even if i am right she insists she is right. how can get along better?

Question

we argue alot i argue back she tells me what to do and i dont like being told what to do and being bossed around but i guess it has to be that way for another 2 years until im 18. and when we argue she almost always brings up the past wich i have clearly moved on from and i wish we would just stop argueing HELP!

Answer 1

Everyone thinks they are right.
Your mother is right by right of seniority, so demure to that... just say "Okay" and leave it at that. Head-butting is not productive. All you are trying to do is get through the next couple of years with as little stress as you can.
Basically, you come home, do your appointed chores, and keep your grades up just to stay out of trouble.
You should consider spending as much time away from there as you can. You can participate in more school activities, you can study at a friend's house, you can get a job (or make one) that will take you away from there (and make some $$$).
All of these are legitimate ways of spending as little time as possible getting sniped at. You only have two years before you are 18, so make the best of them.

Answer 2

Arguments happen. If your right and she insists she is then just leave it to yourself and know your right but to keep peace let it go. I can tell you understand "under my roof, my rules" mentality and that when your 18 your good to go but remember if you stay there same stuff will apply. From my stand point my stepfather brought up things from years ago and its just the fact things add up and they don't like it and your learn to avoid the topics. You just get by with what you guys can talk about w/o arguing and you'll be fine for the next 2 years. Letting it go is the best way for you and your mom to still be talking in the end. Or if that doesn't help or you dont want to go that route you can always see counseling.

As for the parents, commenting on talking back to your parents... to them i say help and don't judge. Not everyone has that PERFECT family.

Answer 3

The fact that you want to make things better is a huge step in the right direction.
If you and your mother are like my wife and daughter, neither one of you ever want to admit you are wrong, and always want to have the last word.
This is what you need to do.
Get with her at a time you are not arguing, just hanging out.
And tell her you don't want to argue with her anymore and have a DISCUSSION about why each one of you thinks you argue so much.
It's something where you can't get defensive about what she tells you, you have to look through her eyes for this discussion and see her point of view.
She will also have to do the same for you.
If neither of you get defensive, and work to keep your voices down and control your emotions, you should be able to come to an understanding.
You have to realize she is the mother, and she makes the rules. You are not the first 16 yr old that didn't like the rules their parent made for them.
But you also have to understand that she only has what's best for you at heart, even though you may not see how, it is there.
It's tough, believe me, I have seen it get down right ugly with my wife and daughter, but you will get through it, I promise.

Answer 4

i am sorry that you are arguing with your mum, and that you feel that you are been bossed about, you will have to either speak to your mum , or write her a letter, and explain how you feel, of course you have to have an oppinion, the day is gone ,when children were told that they should be seen and not heard, now also you will have to respect your mum, she has a lot of experience of life, and maybe can see things more clearly than you at the moment, but that does not mean that she or you are always right, i do not think that anyone has the right to cast up the past. you will have to try and settle your differences with dignity. if your mum sees you acting like a mature young lady, than she in turn will listen to you, i know it is hard, i have been there,and sometimes it is easier to agree to disagree. i wish you luck, and sometimes a hug can do the trick.

Answer 5

You should respect your mother. Disagreements are ok but you have to realize that your mother is speaking from personal experience and she's only trying to help you and keep you from getting hurt. You didn't say what in the past you have moved on from. If you brought it up obviously it's serious and maybe she doesn't want you to relapse or repeat whatever it was, and with her on the outside looking in she might be able to give you a more objective point of view. And what does being 18 have to do with anything? Yes, you can legally move out at that age, but good luck. Very few make it successfully and the majority that do make it must rely on others to help them carry out their whim...and the person helping is usually their mother! Your relationship with your mom doesn't end at 18.

Answer 6

One thing you should know is that your mother loves you very much inspite the arguments. Two - you are going through a rough time from about 13 - 21 life is very topsy turvey, accept that and then accept that your mom is probably right since she has been there done that. Three - your mom is not going to be around forever I would really just love her and just understand where she is coming from - a position of love and is not delibratley trying to make your life terrible , she needs to put guidelines and rules down else she would not be a good mother if she never did this. Hope this help!

Answer 7

Oh boy, another member of Generation KE. You don't like being told what to do, huh? Well, those of us who've lived in adult land well past 20-30-40-50 years know that to get along you have to play along, rules are everywhere, from work to play and if you don't follow them, you can end up broke, no place to live, nothing to eat, you can even lose your freedom.

You said you have moved on from your past....OKAY, why are you arguing with her? Don't you know you're supposed to honor your mother? Now, notice I didn't say AGREE with her, I said HONOR. Do what you're told, clean your room, whatever she's asking. Of course, if she's wanting to turn you into a prostitute or a drug runner, I'd say don't listen to her, but she's YOUR MOTHER, you will never get another.

All ADULTS must get along with people who get on our very last nerves, they're called bosses, co workers, family, nothing of what you said constitutes WW3, your mom will have your back every time, for the rest of your life.

Straighten up and be respectful, before it comes back on you in the children you have.

Answer 8

Arguing with your mother is not respectful. Mothers aren't always right & neither are the children.You may not like being told what to do, but she's your mom, so learn to accept it. You will always be told what to do, whether it be in school, college, a job, etc. so get used to it. It's not right for your mom to bring up your past, & let your mom know how hurtful it is when she brings it up & hopefully she'll stop. When you stop arguing with her, she'll stop too. DIscussions are cool but arguments are not.

Answer 9

Oh I know how you feel. It totally bothers me. haha!

Okay, even if your mom might be wrong, it's important not to argue. To "Poison her with kind words" would be the way to go. Try to make your point respectfully, and if that doesn't work then just give in. You don't have to "give in" but I've found out that my mom argues with me more just because I'm being rude and yelling, and not because I'm saying she's wrong.

It's really hard and I'm still working on being more respectful to my mom... but hopefully this will help you out in the long run! Good luck!

Answer 10

How do you know you are right? And you have no business arguing with your mother in her house. I think you are quite out of order. But they say what goes around comes around, and you will eventually have the same problem with your children. Hope you remember, why it is happening to you.