I've been officially dating a guy for two weeks (but was talking to him online for two months before we met in person). So far we only kissed and hugged, but yesterday he kinda fondled me. I really like this guy and want a relationship with him, but when is the right time to sleep with him? If were officially boyfriend and girlfriend? I have a pretty high sex drive so I'm clueless as what to do. Whenever I want a relationship with a guy, I end up sleeping with him so fast (usually within two weeks of seeing a guy) and a relationship never develops. Any good advice? Thanks.
2007-09-02 07:22:29 · 45 answers · asked by Jenna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know...now a days, I would want to know about his sexual past...if he has been tested...all that. I can't sleep with someone I've only been dating for a few weeks.
2007-09-02 07:29:23 · answer #1 · answered by Moxie Crimefighter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really liked this question because so many girls out there could use advise about this issue. To me, sex is important - as I'm many many others feel this same way too.
I know from personal experiences of doing it too soon has definitely caused a "kink" in out developing relationship.
I completely agree with one of the other answers, stating that do it when you don't have doubts and don't need to ask this question. If you really want this to work between you and this guy - then just wait. Make sure that he's not into you just for sex and stuff. Then once you have indeed waited, you will feel so much better. Self control is amazing once you have told yourself to wait - and then do it - you will feel almost like you accomplished something in your own heart.
Just wait it out for a little while and see what can develop without the sexual part of beginning relationships. Then once you have a good solid start, then just see what happens once you commit to have sex together.
2007-09-02 07:33:40 · answer #2 · answered by ~Abbey Beth~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are giving away the goods so quickly, the guy has nothing to look forward to. Even though you have this high sex drive, does not mean you should pass it out like candy just because you like someone. It takes longer than two weeks to really know a person, and you are basically taking all the excitement out of the whole process when you decide to have sex so quickly. You have to have some will power, for real. That's probably the reason your relationships end as quickly as they begin. Make him wait, see how he treats you without sex, find out if he is actually interested in you as a person, or if he's just out to get to the goods. A guy really isn't interested in developing a relationship with a girl who has sex with them so quickly. If they have to chase it a little bit, ya know, work hard for it, when he get what he thought he was after, he's going to appreciate you more and want to keep you around. No guy wants to seriously date someone who gives it up real quick, he may want to have a little fun, but that's it. They figure if you gave it up so quickly for him, who else have you given it to like that, ya know? If you want a relationship, and want these guys to take you seriously, then you have got to have some will power, and take your time, get to know a guy longer than two weeks. Things may turn around for you.
2007-09-10 07:11:34 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jaz, you already know the answer!! If you REALLY want to develop something with him, I would say wait. And girl, I know it's hard when you have a high sex drive, but I used to be in the same boat when i dated. Then i became smarter with dating and realized that was one of the negative points about me, since for me, sex complicates things. If you start to attach feelings with sex, then definitely hold out a lil longer. But tell him so as well. don't wait until you both are in the heat of the moment. Or if you don't want to go that route, choosing environments that don't support fondling/sexual activity worked great for me...i.e. not going out late at night, not inviting him over during "booty call" hours, etc. If you go out during the day, in groups, or things along that line, that could kill some time too until you think the time's right.
And talking to a person on the phone/online develops a relationship a lil quicker than seeing someone several times/week in person since you tend to talk about life in general and spend time getting to know each other. so I know that finally seeing him in person was the icing on the cake, but wait another month or so. Get used to seeing him in person b/c it seems ackward at first cuz you're so used to talking on the phone/online.
LEARN FROM YOUR PAST MISTAKES/EXPERIENCES.
2007-09-02 07:43:07 · answer #4 · answered by lilmissdottie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to learn from your mistakes. Sleeping with a guy within two weeks isn't working for you and hopefully you don't do that anymore. You need to establish a relationship with the guy in person. You need to spend more time with him before you have sex. What is wrong with waiting, you need to try something different. If you move fast, then the relationship doesn't last. A man respects a woman that doesn't give it up fast. You waited 2 months to meet him, now wait 2 more months to sleep with him. He isn't going anywhere.
2007-09-02 07:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by KSR 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what you feel is right, If I where you I would take it very slow. There is really no rule of thumb to as when to do it. The most important thing about a relationship is getting to know each other, and is this guy willing to wait as long as you need. I waited almost three months with my fiance, and I tell you what it was the best love making I had ever experienced, just because of the wait. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-09-02 07:29:08 · answer #6 · answered by jd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There really is no right time to sleep with him, its just a matter of taking the time to get to know him and of course he you! From a guys point of view, I know that sometimes I get so caught up in trying to get the girl in bed, that I miss little things that might tell me if I am truly compatible with a woman, then after I sleep with her I start noticing the little things that end up being deal breakers and we break up.
So take your time and if he is really into you he wont mind waiting a while for you to get to know each other. Meanwhile let things kind of slowly escalate and build tension. That way he knows you are into him, but as far as an exact time table, I would say 2-3 months and just enjoy the slow build up of tension. If he dumps you cuz you wont sleep with him then He is obviously not the right guy.
2007-09-10 07:03:44 · answer #7 · answered by dchovane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold off on the sleeping bit till you reach a level of intimacy mentally.
Wait till he gains respect for you as a person. Wait till when he is clear that you said yes to sleep with him because you care about him and you are doing it for no other reason. Sleeping with him to let him know that he is a special someone in your life and vice versa would be a sure shot in getting a relationship off to a great start.
If you do it too early, he may lose respect for you, which may have been happening to you in the past, from what you say.
Hope this helps.
2007-09-02 07:32:13 · answer #8 · answered by Debu 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be evil so, I am going to keep it in between along the lines of asking yourself...
Is it to soon for you, the same as to soon for him?
Tell me its not absolutely corny to sit and ask each other thru a conversation on whether its a good thing to hit all base's?
I mean I would feel embarrassed to talk about it like that?
How would you SPARK a conversation of that when your in a trance anyway?..But then would a "human" freak if you said hey, lets get married before we continue this? Does that ever happen?....I know I have been there during times were I wasted time in holding back (for the moral side) to only figure out that he was a waste of my time and I should have, could have NOT hung around for him to turn out to be a loser 'boy" that didn't desreve me from the begining...I mean not that its all about that but, once or alot of times when you give that part of yourself to a guy you end up finding out what type of guy he is.. what if you waste your time on him..Well, I am going to put that topic in my pocket and say...Let the ghetto girls ask questions like that, save yourself before you have some girl who doesn't know how to act ALL the way around preach to you...Tootles
2007-09-10 07:13:22 · answer #9 · answered by Unbreakable Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can Sleep with him whenever you feel the need...If that's what he wants then it will happen, just make sure he doesn't lie to you just to get U into Bed!!!!! What is a Pretty High Sex Drive? Just Be Care full
2007-09-02 07:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by Dustin B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well look at it this way. What you have been doing doesn't work so don't keep doing the same things and expect different results. Your sex drive can be taken care of on your own. You are not an animal...control yourself. If you feel the need...masturbate.
I highly suggest you practice a year or so of celibacy. Consider it your year of personal emotional growth.
2007-09-02 07:30:20 · answer #11 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋