help me out, family issues?

Question

my brother is adhd and has some ocd, and it's driving me insane. he has to wash everything and i highly doubt that his meds are doing anything at all. the school almost kicked him out three times in one three month period and my mom suffered health problems from all the stress.
okay, I know, I'm really impatient with my brother and I often take out my anger with my brother on some people that really annoy me at school. no really bad stuff, but i argue and yell at people a lot. I really am trying to not yell so much and control my anger issues, but what can I do when all my parents think about is my brother, work and house work? my mom always says she doesnt have a favorite, but i'm starting to doubt that. I get money from my parents adn its not like i'm starving or anything, but is there anything I can do to just try and ignore him when he blows up and starts screaming his head off?!

Answer 1

Just be partient and love your brother he has a condition that he did not ask for and I am sure he does not like being that way. Instead of snapping at people take a deep breath and think before you yell at someone. I suggest that you and your family seek professional counceling to help you to cope with this situation as I know it's not an easy thing to live with. I am sure your parents love you the same as him.

Answer 2

Oh sweetie, I can totally understand where you're coming from on this. I have 2 children, my son has autism, adhd and ocd. My daughter is 4 years older than him. Unfortunately, there are times she gets the short end of my attention stick, simply because her brother does take more of my time, effort and energy, and he probably always will. What she does is when he's blowing up, she'll leave the house, or go into her room. Probably the best thing you can do when he's melting down is to simply remove yourself as much as you can from the situation.

Talk to your mom about how you feel though, I don't know how old you are, but you must know that taking your anger with your brother out on other people isn't cool. Talk with your mom, maybe you could benefit from some counseling, I know my daughter did. You could also talk with a counselor at school about this, I know this is a very common issue for them. Siblings of special needs kids have many issues that need to be adressed. I also try, as a mom, to spend some time with my daughter 1 on 1, without her brother around.

Let me assure you that your mom is not lying to you when she says she doesn't have a favorite. Please be understanding of the load your parents have with raising your brother though. Yes, he may get the lions share of their attention, however, tell yourself it's usually the negative things he's doing that's getting their attention. Your parents don't want to neglect you in any way, nor do they want you to feel responsible for your brother. Remember, what they're trying to do here is to give your brother the tools he needs so that he can one day live independently. It takes alot more work to teach a child like your brother these skills, but will pay off in the long run when after your parents have passed away--YOU'RE not dealing with his issues. Sometimes I have to remind my daughter of that, everything we do for our son now is so that 40 years from now, when I'm dead and gone, SHE won't have the burden of caring for her brother on top of caring for her own family.

Best of luck to you sweetie. Hang in there! I know how hard it is!

Answer 3

You don't mention your ages.
Your brother takes priority because of his ADHD/OCD issues. Looking after him demands a lot of extra care. Unfortunately, that also means you will be drafted to help out.

Your mom needs to talk to Child's Advocates and possible to the local United Way agencies to get some real help before she craters from all the stress. If your mother cannot find these agencies, try talking to the counselors at your school... they should know all about how to access some real help.

Your brother is going to blow up to get attention and that is normal for all kid brothers. He will naturally act-out to get his way. The only thing you can do is tell him, "Look, if you are going to act that way, I don't care to put up with you! I will only be around you if you behave and be nice." Then walk away... go to your room or go for a walk around the block to blow off the stress. If you refuse to get baited into his game, he will eventually get the idea.
A walk around the block is generally a good idea in any pressure-cooker situation. It will help you to keep from transferring that stress into other situations like school.

You can invest some quality time with him in an effort to wear him out. Take him down to the park and play baseball with him... learning to catch and chase baseballs burns a lot of energy. If you can get him tired, you can get him to go to bed without much fuss.

I would also suggest some dietary supplements. I've read often that Omega 3 fatty acids are great for ADHD. I would also suggest keeping breads and other refined foods and sugars out of his diet. Give him more RAW NUTS like pecans, almonds, brazil nuts, macadamias for both the beneficial fats and the minerals.

Answer 4

Ok for the hardest t hing you will ever hear STAY CALM!!!! He is your brother and will be forever. And family is there always. Try talking to other family members or someone at school. Try to walk away from the problem. Talk with your brother and see if there is anything taht you can do to help him. Talk with your mom and doctors. Don't bottle things up but don't take it out on someone who has no idea why you are mad at them. Find an interest of your own to keep your mind off things at home. Good Luck

Answer 5

Favoritism? Your Mum gotta love your brother and love you too. You are alright, whereas your bro needs more attentions from your parents due to adhd. So you have to co-operate with your mum. Your mum must be very stressed, more stressed than you do. You have to talk to her more often, comfort her, she need someone whom she can talk to, and the best person has to be you, her daughter.

As far as I know, adhd can be improved slowly, and efforts do pays off you know. Laughter and love is the best medicine, try to bring that to your mum and your brother. I am sure live Will be much more comfortable when family members works well together.

Now, about your anger issue, I understand how you feel. But you have to persevere. I am sure there are true friends of yours, confide in them, they will help you out. That's what friends are for. Look for me if you want, I am willing to help..Really.

Smile always, for it will get rid of your sadness and brings in joy to those around you.=)

Answer 6

Remember that it's not his fault. Help him. Be patient and spend time with him. It'll be easier for everyone if you be nice. If you're mean you'll be mad, he'll be upset and your mom too.