we have 3 children in foster care already (we can't have our own) and we want to adopt them. we have a 3 bedroom house (my husband and I in one room, Nic and Tony in a room, and Krista in the third). we've wanted 5 kids since we were married, but with our small house, we're going to have to settle for a smaller family. the 3 kids we have now (ages 11, 10, and 7) get along great together and even though Tony doesn't look like the rest of us, you would never know otherwise. Krista (our oldest) has told me that she would be willing to share her room with a younger sister (the kids talk about having a little sister like she's already here), but even though we have the room, money, time, and love for another child, would it be foolish to contact the agency to tell them this even though we haven't officially adopted the older 3 yet? thanks for any advice concerning this.
2007-09-02 06:58:55 · 14 answers · asked by Yoga Mom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
yes, i already know about that. the names i listed aren't their real names.
2007-09-02 07:23:29 · update #1
no, they aren't blood siblings. they are from 3 different families.
2007-09-04 07:52:21 · update #2
Hopefully you do consider these children your "own" -- for their sake. And FYI it is an invasion of these children's privacy to list their names on the Internet. I am sure you must have gone through training to become a foster parent, and privacy and confidentiality surely must have been covered. If you can go back and edit your question and take their names out, do.
Your home size is not the issue. There's room - if changes and sacrifices are made. But not having completed your adoption plans with these children, who need all of your time and attention right now, is the issue. Once things are settled with these three children, then consider adoption of another. Again, for their sake.
Good luck to you all!
2007-09-02 07:19:58 · answer #1 · answered by Still Me 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You and your husband should talk to an adoption agency, and make arrangements to adopt the three foster children. The poor kids don't even know how long they will live there. Imagine if they didn't get adopted, had a new sister, fell in love with her, then got taken away. They would be heartbroken. So I suggest before you make plans to adopt another girl, adopt the first three.
On the other hand, I think adopting another little girl would be great for them. As for the space issue, you could always convert other rooms in the basement or something into bedrooms. Don't worry. The kids will love their new sister once she gets there.
As for adopting the three, get moving! Adoptions a long process!
2007-09-02 15:28:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state you are in. However most states offer to cover most adoption fees.
When their parent rights are terminated they will be ready for adoption. Ask your social worker when/if they think this will happen. (Remember some parents fight for their children and get them returned) Let the social worker know that you are interested in the adoption of these kids, they will help you. Perminate homes are a blessing for the "plder children" or the "hard to place" child. Let them also know you are looking to get another girl (bedroom situation a girl is all you can get) and they will find you prespective children whose rites have already been terminated.
Work with the system, they will work with you.
Taking on another child is never foolish, it is an act of love.
2007-09-06 06:08:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the agency that you are interested so you get to be at the "top of the list" and if the birth mom(or moms) have any other children maybe they could let you know so that siblings can stay together. It's not about the size of your house or bank account-if the kids are happy then it works. It's about family. Go ahead and officially adopt them so they feel permanence and the next child will fall into your lap.
Best of luck! Sheri
2007-09-04 02:11:58 · answer #4 · answered by ponytails07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your husband are wonderful!!! I adopted two and it is a lot of work. God Bless you and your family! If you have it in your hearts to add another child and it is right for your family then do it. If not, then don't. When we were recently deciding on adding another one - we asked ourselves if getting another one would take away from the two we have (not just monetarily, but because there is so much work and parents are tired!). I had a hard time admitting that 2 was perfect for now and that until they get older I can't do another one. You are a super mom for doing 3 and if you are not spent/exhausted and have the energy to do another without taking away from the other 3... then go ahead. Whatever you decide will be the right thing!
2007-09-04 13:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by twinsmama06 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If the kiddos you have now are legally free for adoption, ask their social worker about proceeding with making everything official & permanent. Good for you for giving these kids a home -- aren't they a blessing??
Ok, so now about adding another...go for it! Contact the social worker or agency and ask about adding another child to your family. I'm sure they'll be thrilled that you have the capacity (love, room, etc.) to add another child.
We have five kids in our home...we have two biological sons (17 & 15) a foster daughter (17) and two adopted daughters (13 & 9). I wouldn't have it any other way! I love all my babies & would die for any of them.
2007-09-06 03:43:25 · answer #6 · answered by StacieG 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if your daughter is willing to share a room and you have the time and money for another child. I say go for it. You are doing the right thing adopting another kid. There are so many children without homes or parents to love them
2007-09-02 14:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by Maria 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That depends to some extent on who's going to be doing the majority of the childcare. If you got pregnant now, you'd have two little ones under two, and that's a lot of work. Even if you wouldn't be staying home with both kids, but especially if you were, you have the right to wait, and you should tell your husband that you want to.
2016-05-19 04:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't been allowed to adopt the other 3, then I would guess parental rights have not been terminated, correct?
I say go for it, but realize that one, two, three, or all of these kids may not stay in your home forever. I would hope they would stay, but the system is always pushing for reunification.
I say you should go ahead and take on another little girl. I bet you have tons of love to give. I lost my foster son and I had no other kids in my home, and it just made me feel so empty. I wish I had had other children in our home.
2007-09-05 15:25:14 · answer #9 · answered by lefttheroom222 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If ,as you say you can afford, there's nothing good than adopting a homeless child.You both are really great persons,doing a great job, to have adopted three.Since you can afford to have more, go for it.The joy of this, can only be felt by people like you.But, what's keeping you back, from officially adopting them.I dont think there's any legal hassels to this.Wishing you all the best.
2007-09-02 07:15:09 · answer #10 · answered by MrKnow_All 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋