My dad is only home 5 days a week, and I never get to see him, neither do my brothers, but one of my brothers won't let my dad be with me or my other brother. So it's always just him and my dad. If me and my dad make plans, he tries to bend them so either they don't happen, or he comes. I usually wouldn't have a problem with my brother coming, but when I start a conversation with him, my brother kicks in and makes him stop talking to me with a conversation that he knows I won't understand. Example:
My dad PROMISED me he'd take me to the movies, and JUST me and my dad. Just us. So my friend begs me to go to a local fair, and I have to say yes, because this week my dad is home Saturday, Sunday AND Monday. He promised me he'd take me. Well Saturday didn't work out. So today is Sunday. Today is the day of the fair, so we aren't going to the movie's today. MY BROTHER AND MY DAD ARE. My brother worked it out so they could go! And tomorrow, he planned it so we are going [continued]
2007-09-02 06:54:21 · 6 answers · asked by ily[; 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
tubing/water sking/boating tomorrow, from before 9:00- about 4:00. Can't go to the movies tomorrow. Why is my brother doing these things?! I NEVER, NEVER get time with my dad. I can't even go to the store with him! If I ask to my brother says: "No! I'm going!" I'm 11, he's 12. So it's just not fair! I know it's normal to fight but this is something serious! I can't get in a conversation with my dad without my brother. I HATE IT!!! I miss my dad sooooo much! And he always says he wants to do something with me, and we start to, then my brother comes in. When my brother comes along, I don't have any fun because he won't let me talk to him. Why is he like this?
Do I have a right to be mad?
I miss being with my dad!
2007-09-02 06:54:56 · update #1
I HAVE talked to my dad, he DOES realize that, it's NOT my dad's fault! My dad tries to give all of us enough time to talk to him and do things. One of my brothers hogs him during the day time, and when he goes to bed all the football games start, and then my other brother watches it with him and they talk about it. I try to watch football! I watch it and then they don't talk to me because they are watching tv and only talking about football.
2007-09-02 07:13:45 · update #2
WE'VE TRIED SETTING THINGS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We set it up, just us, and then my brother kicks in! That's my point! We can't do anything alone because of my brother! I HATE IT!!!! I MISS MY DAD SOOOOOO MUCH! I love him and we used to spend time together, but my whole life my brother has always gotten more because my brother wants to. My brother always gets what he wants. My brother always does what he wants to. My brother has a perfect life and all he wants is more, and he takes my dad from me!
2007-09-02 07:16:14 · update #3
Well, you do have the right to be angry with your Dad and your brother. Your dad should be able to realize that you want to have some 1/1 time with him, but maybe you need to tell him just that. Your friend 'begged' you to go to the fair so you had to? No you didn't; you chose to. Your brother makes sure he's available to spend time with your dad, but you don't. So, tell your dad that you need to spend more 1/1 time with him and if you have to share some of that time with your brother, then do it. It's called being a part of the family.
2007-09-02 07:03:06 · answer #1 · answered by tupi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you not going to the movies w/ your Dad & your brother going instead is not your brothers fault. It's yours, you chose to go to the fair, so your brother went to the movies w/ your dad instead - you can't be mad at that one. Next, it's hard for a parent to spend one on one time w/ three children, a lot of the time you just need to do things together, as a family. But if your brother is a daddy-hog, you need to tell your Dad that you would like to have one on one time w/ him. Maybe you two can work something out to where one week he gets 1 day w/ just you, the next week 1 day w/ one of your brothers, & the third week he gets 1 day w/ the other brother. Then, all the other times you all will have to do something together - no complaining about it. Cuz after all, you are a family, so you should have family time & do things together as a family - with everybody.
2007-09-02 07:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by tanner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like big brother wants ALL of your father's time. I'm really surprised your father hasn't picked up on this. Your brother is being manipulative and mean, you are your father's son too. Sounds like he's jealous of any time dad spends with you because there's so little of it to start with.
I do have an idea, talk to your mom about setting up an entire day with your father ahead of time, go somewhere where big brother doesn't have any wiggle room and then do it.
If this doesn't work, you might have to talk to both parents about what is going on, show some of the answers you get here. To answer your main question, yes, you have EVERY right to be mad.
2007-09-02 07:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've spoken to you dad about this problem (sounds like quite a few times) and you've told him how you feel. Its now up to him as a parent to see where your coming from. Its his job to treat his children (no matter how many he has) equally. Since he doesnt seem to be listening to your verbal requests to spend time with him, I think you need to write him a letter. You need to be polite, dont be rude in the letter. And tell him again that you want some one on one time with him. Tell him that you dont get that because your brother always intrupts and takes away from your time, use examples, the more the better. But be nice about it, your dad is in a tight situation with at least 3 children who want his attention, but you also deserve to have that attention. Tell him that you want to see a special time put aside just the two of you. Maybe it needs to go on the calander so that everyone knows this time is non-negociatable and its set in stone.
Your dad needs to stick up for himself, and he needs to stand up to your brother and tell him, that now is his time to spend with you as he spent "x-time" with him at the movies. The longer your dad lets your brother intrupt your plans the more your brother will think that he's allowed to get away with it.
2007-09-02 07:36:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold on. In your example you've already said you ditched your dad so that you could go to a fair with your friend. It sounds to me like both you and your dad have problems making the commitment to spend time with each other stick.
Getting mad at your brother just makes you mad. It doesn't hurt your brother at all.
2007-09-02 10:49:44 · answer #5 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Be very direct with you dad about wanting to spend time alone with him. Maybe he will have to set up a schedule so that each of you get private time with your dad.
2007-09-02 07:08:39 · answer #6 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋