My boyfriend doesn't mind it but his mom is pretty much against everyone that isn't a christian. She put down one of our friends because she told her she was an athiest.
She never asked me, so i never told her that I wasn't one, and i've been going to church with them just so i get to spend time with my boy.
Then she bought me a bible for my birthday and its starting to get annoying, she preaches stuff like she's God's perfect child. And from what i hear, she's not.
Anyway, how do i help her realize that i'm not a christian? (i'm agnostic by the way)
and do you think she won't let him invite me to church anymore if she knew?
2007-09-02 06:47:24 · 23 answers · asked by piiing 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
fyi, i'm christian, so i hope this isnt very biased! i have lots of non-believing friends, though, and this is what i've told them.
don't be a fake believer. the mom will hate you MUCH MUCH more if you pretend to be who you aren't. nothing good will come of it.
your guy may also think you're too good at bluffing, and give your relationship second thoughts.
sounds like the mom is kindof closed-minded. (this may be really difficult, im not sure, but.....) try to relate with her through other things-hobbies, opinions, whatever. then break it to her GENTLY that you don't have the same beliefs.
almost every family i know with ANY morals or beliefs (religion or not) try to pass those on to their children, and the rest of their families. his mom is probably trying to do the same with him. as protective as parents are, she won't want anyone to interfere with her idea of what he's like.
in the end, she will either accept you for what you believe, accept your relationship with him and still try to change you (maybe for the better, you decide), or completely reject you and every part of you. whatever happens happens, so good luck. i hope whatever happens that it's for the better!
2007-09-02 06:59:46 · answer #1 · answered by iheartart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best place for an agnostic is in Church....I am sure if you explain to her that you are just not sure, she will understand...after all, before we got saved, we were all agnostic...right? Don't judge her so harshly. The bible says a person should not marry someone who isn't a Christian.....
That phrase comes from the King James (aka 'Authorized') version of the Bible, which states this: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" [2 Corinthians 6:14/KJV]. For a more modern translation, the NIV states that verse as "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" [NIV]
In short, this verse is advice to believers that they should only marry other believers.
So, she really does want him to date Christian women but there is a difference between an unbeliever and an atheist...in this case anyway...you are open to learning,,an atheist is not. I doubt she thinks she is God's perfect child...most Christians beat ourselves up all the time because we always fall short of how good we want to be...tell her you are still searching and just not sure yet...in other words,,,tell her the truth.
2007-09-02 07:01:40 · answer #2 · answered by dreamdress2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't see this situation ever improving. I know I'm not, our personalities are different if nothing else, but if I were you I would run from this clan as fast as possible.
The big problem, as I see it, is you can't win. Either his mother finds out and breaks you two up, your relationship runs its course and you break-up or you marry the guy and he brings along his baggage in the form of his mother.
IMO the only possible way this could work is if the boy is in fact a man and tells his mother that he will associate with anyone he chooses. Of course if he is 14 or 15 that won't happen.
My best advice is still the same, cut your losses and get out. As an Atheist I would never be able to live with the hypocrisy if I were in your position.
2007-09-02 07:05:32 · answer #3 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-19 21:43:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy in any relationship. She may have bought you the Bible, and is telling you views you disagree with simply because she does not know you disagree with her. I am a Christian, so it would be difficult for me not to share my faith, as I fear unbelievers will not be going to heaven, and I want everybody I come into contact to go there. Maybe your boyfriend's mother is the same way.
But, it is also possible that she may not be a Christian. So many teach that saying the right words or prayer makes one a Christian, but the Bible teaches that we must repent of sin (not "sins" but our very sinful nature) -- something not taught much -- and that we believe in our hearts that Jesus was raised from the dead (something easily taught and believed) AND confess with our lips Jesus as Lord -- meaning we give control of everything we hold dear over to Jesus and submit to His authority. This is not popular, maybe even with you reading this.
My point, in response to your question, is that if your boyfriend's mother has not done all of this, she may not be a Christian, even if she thinks she is one. That may be something you see in her behavior.
As to whether or not she'd invite you to church if she knew you weren't Christian -- that would not stop ME from inviting you to hear gospel truth. I know your reason for going there is to be with your boyfriend, but maybe, since you are there, you could listen? Just a suggestion. It is not wrong to test your own beliefs -- believer or not. God does not call believers to a BLIND faith, but to one which has been tested and proven itself to be true.
2007-09-02 07:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by Rhonda F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are opening a can of worms, unless you plan on marrying this guy.
I personally would have said right from the get-go when she started chatting about god that I didn't believe...but I'm up front like that and will not allow anyone to make me feel bad for my beliefs. But, since you haven't yet, I would see if the boyfriend is worth the grief of the mom.
She may be happy you go to church with them, as she will see it as a time to convert you. Good luck. Sounds like she may be one of those fun christians.
2007-09-02 06:52:07 · answer #6 · answered by alia 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell her you read in the Bible she gave you that Jesus got up after being dead two days, and started walking around like nothing ever happened, AND THEN HE ROSE INTO THE SKY AND BECAME A GOD.
Exclaim to her that is quite a feat, and you must be totally serious when you say it.
Tell her it's getting better every time you read it.
2007-09-02 06:55:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't 'help her realize it', just tell her straight out. If she cares more about her son's happiness than about your personal belief system, it won't matter. If not, isn't it important for you to know that as soon as possible?
Also, if your boyfriend allows his mother to dictate to him who he can invite to church and who he can't, then he's a frightened little momma's boy who can't stand his ground or assert his own will and who doesn't deserve a real, independent woman like yourself. And if that's the case, isn't it important for you to know THAT as soon as possible?
2007-09-02 06:55:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you not a christian because of her or were you before - either way, just let her know, she'll probably try and break you up.
Honestly is the best policy.
2007-09-02 06:52:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Real Christians.... Perfer... HONESTY!
Simply.... TELL HER.... that you are NOT A Christian!
IF SHE BLOWS... UP.... Simply ask her.... IS THAT THE WAY.. JESUS... TREATED... SINNERS....?
And... THEN.... " RESPECTFULLY "..... Share with her... These... VERSES....!
(John 10:14-to-18) I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.
(Joh 10:15) As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep.
(Joh 10:16) And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.
(Joh 10:17) Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again.
(Joh 10:18) No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.
PRINT.... OUT... THIS.. Response... For HER!
IF... she has a Problem... with These VERSES... have her write... ME !
Thanks, RR
2007-09-02 07:07:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋