please dont say this!?

Question

one girl asked this before and i completly
agree with her. why do "adults" say your to
young when we ask about guy advice or
whatever. where not to young thats like saying a 30yr old cant date a 40 yr old
if they love each other they love each other!
its THIER life and if they make a mistake
they will learn from it so dont say your to
young and when your older read this and
you will be happy you didnt date boys or w.e
we learn from OUR MISTAKES NOT YOURS! and no matter what you say about
focusing more on "school" its just pushing us
more away from it! and thats like saying if your married you cant see your wife for
like 6 more years you will fall apart with out
her! everyone has hormones and they cant
control them so please dont say you are
young live your live as a "kid" for now!!

no age dosnt matter. yea it does if your
like 10 and your dating a 19 yr old. and you cant "trust me" you will "thank me later" you dont know your not physic you have no idea who i even am you've never met me! theres no reason why kids cant date who they want. no we dont know exactly what "love" is but we are trying to learn it and we cant when your trying to push us away from it! so if you have a kid that you wont let date other people you have a serious issuse and she/he is just going to sneak around since you wont let them. thats what alot of my friends have to do. so what would you like better? knowing the truth and have your kid have a little crush on a guy/girl or have them be sneaking behind your back?

Answer 1

Oh, please.... age DOES matter.

Look at the late Anna Nicole and her 80+ yr old husband (before he died). YIKES!!!

Those two were seriously psychologically messed up. And now they're both dead. So I'm happy.

Answer 2

It's kind of refreshing to understand the 'other side' of this argument, and you stated it well.

From a parents perspective, I have two teenage sons and I do get involved in their life, their social life and their personal life, I do that because there are certain things I don't wnat them to do or suffer.

We will often say, "you're too young", especially if you are in your teens and wanting to date someone a lot older, there is a difference in how you love someone at 15 and how you love someone at 40, there is a difference in being capable of prioritizing things as well. I think that's where the big difference is. I have no problem with my boys having a social life, as long as it does not interfere or affect their school work. If they can balance it, then I will let them.

Are you able to do that?

Age difference is important at a young age, and becomes less of an issue as you grow older. Some of it is a legal issue, it is also a maturity issue.

Your remark about 'not controlling hormones' is exactly what I am talking about too. You may not be able to, so as parents we try to help. Unfortunately, sometimes our help is NOT what you want. Nonetheless, it is still our responsibility to make sure that you turn into good adults, and that means setting the boundaries.

You sound like you though this out a LOT before you posted it, and you think about it a lot still, pat yourself on the back. Someday, you will make an awesome parent yourself. I also am willing to bet, that although right now you are thinking, "I'll never do that to my kids", you will find yourself doing about half of it to them anyway...."

Keep it up, and best of luck

Answer 3

Hi

I'd like to clarify this a bit:

its a parents job to look out for their children. School IS important-you need an education in order to make better choices for yourself. Sometimes its a lot to focus on at once-school, growing up, friends, dating, etc. so a parent says"you're too young" because they know how overwhelming it can be. They know that if you do not focus on your education and being yourself, then you will not be avbe to make good decisions as you grow. You had to learn to walk before you could run, right? This is the same thing-you have to do things in steps. Your parent is not the enemy-they are trying to do their best to look out for you. its not easy to be a parent either. We try our best and there is always something we fell we did not do sufficiently or a child criticizing the way they were raised. We all can only do our best as children and as parents to try and do the right things.

When you are young you do not realize that there is a responsibilty that goes along with learning from your own mistakes, and if you are not fully mature enough to deal with that, then those mistakes can land you in a very bad situation. Your parents have gone through those mistakes and are trying to give you the best of their experiences. Its up to you if you listen or not, but being rebellious and angry about it is not the best way to show a parent that you are ready for the responsibility and show them its ok to back off a bit. Its actually a sign that they must place more restrictions on you-Parents look for those signs of readiness.

Instead of going on about how unfair it all is, try to put that energy into finding ways to show your parents that you are ready for more responsibility. Do the things they ask you to do now without an argument, do your best at school, help out around the house without being asked, etc. This is more effective than complaining!

As far as hormones-yes we all have them and they are very strong-but you CAN help it-0and do not have to act on them every time. That is a sign of maturity-not giving in to your hormones-using your head and DECIDING what is the best choice for you right now. When you give your power over to your hormones-and say"well I can't control myself..." that is a sign that you do not have self-control or the ability to make good decisions yet-so that is why parents say that you are too young-because in many ways you are! Your body is changing and your mind is expanding-but you also need to have a sense of control over the changes-and most teens do not have that until a bit later. They do not realize that there is not race or rush to grow up-it happens and by the time you are old enough to realize it, you wish it would all just slow down!

I can only say that as you grow older, this will become very clear to you-you may or may not understand it now, but you
will !

I hope this helps you understand a little better!

Peace and Good Luck!

Answer 4

I'm going to say it anyway.

Because honestly? It's true. By not saying it I'm letting you avoid the truth.

Be a kid. Don't try to grow up.

Love? In ten years from now, age won't matter. Because you'll be OLD enough to understand love. Do you really know what love is right now?

I don't know how old you are but dating isn't all its cracked up to be. You can try to grow up fast and date that guy who happens to you like you and you like him, but two weeks later you don't really 'love' each other anymore and your heart is 'broken' over some frivolous relationship.

Enjoy your childhood. You've got less than 18 years to be a kid, but you've got plenty after that to date and fall in love.

Answer 5

I think mostly they won't say anything else because they know everyone else can see there answer.