Whatever happened to good manners and etiquette?

Question

Love of my Life: I agree with you believe me, I am too come from a strict family and etiquette/good manners was a big deal in my family. However, I think some people that come to America should learn about this culture upon entering borders. I mean, if I go to Europe I will learn about their culture because I wouldn't want to offend anyone, right?.
Also, being open minded not a problem with me, but some people do have a lack of etiquette and these individuals are from this country. I was speaking overall, not pointing at any race. Thank you, great point! ;)

wrenchbender1: excellent point, thanks for answering!

Hooray for Everything & Christopher K: it sure is part of it; however, my kids play video games and some television but it is crucial what they see and learn. Also, commercials are showing our kids to be disrespectfull towards parents, I could go on and on with this...ah, the minute one of my sons disrespect me or anyone else they know it will brake my heart. I hope my boys never forget the values that have been in our family for generations. So far we're okay!

Chabathehutt: YES!, I agree with you. Parents/Guardians forget to instill these values.

Cecilia F: I disagree with you because it's been 4 generations in my family and not a single one of us have forgotten our etiquette/manners. My kids and myself haven't forgotten ours yet, whew, thank goodness! :)

Answer 1

Parenting, Media, and Society are the main 3. It seems people get ruder each year espicially children.

Answer 2

Whatever Happened To Good Manners

Answer 3

Our ideas about manners change from generation to generation. It is a natural process in human society. There are always those who remember what it was like when they were young; they wonder how young people can be so rude.

As parents, my husband and I do our best to teach our children that there are standards of behavior they should follow. Our teaching reflects our own priorities. For instance, do we believe that children should be seen, but not heard? Our grandparents did -- my father was not allowed to speak at the dinner table as a young child. The answer is "No, we do not." Our children have a sense that their ideas are important; they speak with confidence. When my parents visit, they have joked that my kids can be 'mouthy'... but, I wouldn't change a thing about them.

So, I guess my answer is that manners are a matter of perspective and priorities. I try not to judge people's manners, except to point out when their behavior crosses the line and adversely effects those around them. Kindness, generosity, honesty, and similar virtues never go out of style. And I find that they provide good teaching points for my family and areas of commonality between generations. "Manners" and "etiquette" are no substitute for sound decision-making and consideration for the feelings of others.

Answer 4

The media is mainly to blame.......useless "reality" shows, tabloid shows (like the tabloid rags out there) where they tell the uneducated that actually watch the show that Celebs are more important that anything, and those same uneducated individuals (that usually make minimum wage) try and "act" like they're entitled to everything in this life, with a "screw everyone, I'm the center of attention".......I could drone on and on, but you get the picture......The other 50% of the blame I place on parents, or I should say non-parents.......they give their kids anything they want these days.......when I was a kid, I had to WORK (Yes, a four letter word!!!) for what I wanted.....today, kids are thrown things (i.e. Gameboys, XBoxes, etc) that inhibit social interaction, and now we're a nation of social inepts........Gee, this forum is great for venting frustrations.......Thank you for a great question........

Answer 5

Pop culture rewards vulgarity too much - e.g. Madonna, gangsta rap, various movies. Also, some strains of feminism viewed some aspects of manners as condescending to females, so etiquette stemming from 'chivalry' faded away as well. Lastly, organizations decided to save money by cutting training for their lower-level personnel who encounter the public, so there is less respect for the customer. Political correctness mandates that all cultures are equivalent, and it is an offense to try and change someone's culture, so if there culture includes offensive behavior, you can't correct it.

I miss etiquette.

Answer 6

Good question! I don't know but I try to instill this in my boys, my oldest thank goodness learned :) now I am teaching my youngest ones.
It seems that many kids nowadays are not taught not even the basics of being good mannered.
I think is cool when people are courteous, there are so few of those these days! everything is so much better when everyone is courteous instead of not :)

Answer 7

it depends on every society actually, i came from a traditional environment modest and old fashion in some ways but there are certain things Ive been exposed to from other places Ive been and I'm open minded about it. i think this will depend actually on what we expect on how good a good manner is and how appropriate an etiquette is. time changes our society but the most important thing is to be grounded on our self worth and self respect and that will be personified on our manner, character and etiquette

Answer 8

Media is somewhat to blame, but the ultimate responsibility lies with the parents or guardians, they need to take responsibility of their kid's actions and instill some basic traits: treat people cordially (even if you don't like them), look people in the eye and say "hello", respect is not a given - it needs to be earned, etc.

Answer 9

We tend to get most of our information about how to behave and what to believe by means of the most repeated message received. That message of late has been the television commercial, which tells each of us that we "deserve" somehow, the very best, and that other people are merely the extras in the movie of our life.

Answer 10

the parents and everyone around for the most part are just getting too damn lazy and immature, weak-willed, and selfish! I'm thinking that there's a serious situation within the Eath's magnetic waves thats causing this type of human behaviour.