My husband of 35 years and now my sister. How do I get away from depression? I am lonely even when around my remaining and extended family.
2007-09-02 02:52:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
"God gave us memories that we might have roses in December."
2007-09-02 02:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lost my wife (sudden illness) in a matter of days. Leaving me with a daughter of 13 - a son of 10.
It was lightening! Previous weekend (Sunday) all together having dinner doing what families do! Tuesday taken ill, Wednesday dead, Friday the funeral. then Sunday again!
Everyone came and went. The following Sunday just the 3 of us sitting there!
It was remarkable, the resiliance and determinated to press on! My also learning to be a mother, & learing fast, to cope with and understand a joung girl turning into a woman! A young boy growing up almost overnight - everyone in there - pulling!
It didn't of course hide the terrible grief, the lonliness, some times the total despair! how I'd manage, get up, face another day!
More often than not suddenly in tears, the house empty, the children in school, me there all alone, all those wonderful memories - then there she was standing or sitting there, full of life, everything, telling me to get my act together!
It took years to get over, but the children there home from school / umpteen things to do, the family - aunts uncles popping in / mums and dads there to.
Only that time alone in bed, sometimes exhausted, but settled.
Yes, I was depressed and when so I'd go for a walk, take an interest in others, stop talk, started going out more often, eventually even mixing with other women.
It was a therapy, it was needed, it had to be done!
I'm almost seventy now - 28 years since she died! A lifetime, and wonderful memories. It was hard, it was cruel, but, together we got thru, made it!
No grandchildren! My children still not married however they have plenty of boy friends / girlfriends.
Some how not having Grandchildren is in its self a blessing! Probably, when holding, playing with them, it would be hard to forgive my wifes loss in that she never saw them.
All I can say to U - & I know its not easy - but U must awaken to the fact that he's gone! Pick up your life, go with it! enjoy it.
Beleive me, you'll find immeasurable pleasure when u do - & he'll be there with U!
God Bless U!
2007-09-02 10:38:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so terrbily sorry for your losses.
Please know that there is help out there for you. Since you are using the web for this purpose, I'll assume that you are familiar with using the web for others. Some great places to seek the help you want are:
HealingAfterLoss.Org... Grief Recovery and Support for Loss to Death
grief and bereavement support group ... Unfortunately the need for grief support is very real.
GriefNet - A Community of Persons Dealing With Grief, Death, and Major Loss@griefnet.org
Provides support groups, memorials, books, classifieds, and a newsletter.
www.griefnet.org
GriefShare: Grief Recovery Support Groups
... and includes database of more than 1200 listings of GriefShare support groups. ... are thousands of GriefShare grief recovery support groups meeting throughout the ...
www.griefshare.org
Please access these or call your local hospital, which may have a interpersonal group or individual session made available to you. These hospital groups are often overlooked as sources of compassion and support. Good luck with your healing.
2007-09-02 09:58:53 · answer #3 · answered by debmichelle1972 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sad to hear about your double loss. Try turning your sadness into something creative. Painting / pottery / gardening (and you can put the flowers to good use at the cemetery). Apparently helping others helps to take your mind off things. Voluntary work (maybe with children) might help. Have a good cry when you need to: don't bottle things up. All the best to you. x
2007-09-02 10:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by katatins 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One way to fight depression is to keep yourself busy and love others. Try helping people, this will take your mind off of what you've been through. Remember there are many people who love you even if they don't show it. Make the most of the rest and the best of your life. I'm sure they would have wanted it that way.
2007-09-02 09:58:42 · answer #5 · answered by jennifer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what you mean because i lost my husband of 30 years a while back.it is lonely and i do get depressed at times thinking about my life and where its heading but we both know we have our wonderful memories and thats 1 thing we will always have of them.i also keep his pictures around and when i get down i take them and look at them and talk to him.it sounds corny i'm sure but it helps more than you know.it brings out tears and the tears lead way to making me feel better and not so alone.if you ever need to talk please feel free to write and i'll get back to you soon as possible.keep your chin up because they would not want you to be suffereing like this.their still with you in spirit and watching over you every second of the day,just like my husband is.bless you and know your not alone.
2007-09-02 10:00:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most communities have a grief support group of some sort. Call your local hospital and ask them if they have such a group. You will never stop missing these people who are so dear to you, but there are ways to make life more meaningful again. You need people who are going through what you are to help you bridge this incredible gap. My prayers are with you.
2007-09-02 09:56:13 · answer #7 · answered by Aiden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a good support system of family AND friends. Find things to do that interest you, and keep you busy, so you are not dwelling on it too much. Check out you're local senior center, and volunteer programs so you are networking with people, and maybe even making yourself feel useful.
2007-09-02 09:59:40 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Unaware 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing that one day you'll be together again. Remembering the good times and fun times you had together. How they would really want you to feel towards them now that they are gone. All this helps me get over my son.
2007-09-02 09:59:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is hard when you loose a loved one join lots of clubs groups red hat ladys anything do all you can it keeps your mind off of things and before you know it your not depressed any more you never stop missing them but it does get alittle easier good luck and god bless
2007-09-02 09:58:22 · answer #10 · answered by pugs5678 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sorry for you Hon. You do need to get some professional help. But in the end only time will heal you completely. Hugs
2007-09-02 09:56:30 · answer #11 · answered by Selvaggio 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋