I have a girlfriend who talks to her ex, not all the time, just once in awhile. I asked her why she needs to talk to him and she said because he is only a friend and she is all that he has...should I be suspicious? I trust her and haven't made it a big deal but would like to know your opinions...
2007-09-02 02:28:53 · 17 answers · asked by mcampbell610 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think it is weird at all. I talk to my exes, one of them particular is a very good friend of mine. I am not "all he has" however he talks to me about a lot of things when he can't talk to his friends, or even asks me for dating advice.
my boyfriend talks to one of his exes occasionally, and the rest of them made it on his sh*t list big time. However before he had a falling out with one (which happened to be over her not liking me) they were friends and it took me a long time to even think twice about it. Once her intentions came to light to both of us they're was no question, he stopped being her friend and never looked back.
Trust is very important in this kind of situation, trust her that she will not take it to far and trust her to not let him take it too far. I think that it's a very good thing that your trust her. Just keep your eyes open, and your head on straight and you will be fine.
2007-09-02 02:44:52 · answer #1 · answered by Trixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your girlfriend is ALL that her ex has. That's BULL. I've known of many cases where two ex's end up getting back together because they stayed in touch. I've also known of many cases where an ex stays in touch with her ex for (emotional support). But YOU should be providing that for her, and she should tell you if you're not. Sooo it depends on what she says to her ex, if he STILL LIKES HER, and how much time she spends with him. I would be suspicious if the time she spent was excessive. Otherwise trust her. But you two should definitely talk if it bothers you. Just because it bothers you doesn't mean you don't trust her. Just tell her how you feel and ask her how she would feel if one of your ex's told you that YOU were all she had. It's different when the shoe is on the other foot so to speak.
2007-09-02 09:33:24 · answer #2 · answered by i sharpen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How secure are you in the relationship?have you ever spoken to this ex-boyfriend yourself?Feelings are not like light switches they don't usually just click on and off.However if your girlfriend knows this bothers you and still does it maybe you can come to some compromise-communicate with her.You don't own her but you need to hear each other's voices as well.If you trust her then why are you suspicious?ASk her maybe how it would feel for her if the shoe were on the other foot.I'm sure you can find some common ground.Good luck.
2007-09-02 09:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by Rosie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's okay to talk to exes to a certain extent. You trust her, but do you trust her ex? Talking on the phone is alright and everything, but if they are constantly meeting up for drinks together, it's okay to start to worry a little bit. If her ex is single maybe suggest trying to get him a girl and go on a double date, that way you get to see how your girlfriend and him react together.
2007-09-02 09:37:03 · answer #4 · answered by Ro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I could have answered this earlier before all these people started filling your head with all of their opinions!!!!
Man, tell her she needs to choose....
I dated a girl for awhile and she was one of the few that I liked enough to actually want to have an exclusive relationship with. I knew that she still taked to her ex (mainly through text messaging) and I tried not to let it bother me. She would reassure me that they weren't really even friends and he wouldn't leave her alone.... I knew he was still crazy about her but I'm a confident guy and didn't feel threatned.
Well, we ended up calling it quits like a month later and I was hurt. Like, you know one of those feelings you hate feeling when you loose someone you are actually interested in? The whole knot in the stomach situation.....
Anyway, I'm not the type to dwell on that type of thing and I move on quick so I had another girl with in the next week. Since we live in the same town and kick it at the same places I knew we were bound to see each other out and about.
I'll be a son of a pirate if I didn't see her all cuddled up to her ex at this bar we used to frequent. Man, I was livid but at the same time I had a hottie with me so I tried to play it off.
Even if there is no real intention of them hooking back up it starts out as the friend role.... Then if you guys get in an argument he is the person she turns to talk to.... Then they might meet up to catch up on things and talk about you guy's relationship..... Then what?
You be the judge man.... Tell her straight "Look I don't feel comfortable you still talking to your ex". Tell her that you respect her enough not to do it and she should do the same.
If you find out she was going behind your back to talk to him then you should next her.....
Layte,
Austin
P.S.----- To the """Bubbly Blonde"""
Your going to stay single as long as you live with your ex boyfriend.... How freaking awkward would that be for someone you are dating! Your probably going to end up marrying that guy or staying single until one of you move out....
Unbelieveable....
2007-09-02 09:55:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a little weird but everyones different and whats weird to me may be fine for someone else. I think you should trust her until and unless she does something that makes you not trust her. If she lies about talking to him or you find out they are spending time together then you can be worried but until then just trust her.
2007-09-02 09:32:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep in mind theres a reason he's her ex.also,in some cases theres kids involved and they have to talk to each other.my son's divorced and they talk and see each other when he picks them up for his weekend.sometimes in some cases too they get along so much better after the divorce but there wont be anything sexual just a good friendship.i've seen it with friends and its good when they part ways as friends not enemies which its not often that happens.
2007-09-02 09:36:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the other that my ex talks to .There is nothing wrong with it.They need someone and they rely on us because we know them so well. It is good that we can help but also frustrating for the people we are with now. i really think it is doing more help than harm.I don't think you have anything to worry about-maybe the both of you go over to see him or meet for coffee.etc.
2007-09-02 09:38:09 · answer #8 · answered by sherry j 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is an ex in front of that right ? well tell her there is a reason for that and you dont want her talking to him and do not like it one bit maybe she will think about it some more and stop doing it if it makes u feel uncomfortable if she does not then she does not care one iota about your feelings and you should dump her . good luck .
2007-09-02 09:36:07 · answer #9 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope. It's NOT ok. He's an X. She isn't respecting your feelings. And he still likes her, and she's will to keep the drama alive with him. When you guys have a fight/disagreement, who do you think will be the person she runs to, to "talk" about it. HIM
Sorry, I don't trust her. Don't get too attached.
2007-09-02 09:34:56 · answer #10 · answered by bigbadwolf 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋