I have trouble sleeping in the house alone at night as my partner works night shift what can I do?

Question

I have two under five year old children as well and I never get any sleep as I dont feel very secure about being in the house on my own with my little ones.

Answer 1

I have a husband that's been overseas, so I can definitely sympathize with your situation as I too sometimes feel less secure when "the man of the house" isn't around- and when you have more children, the fear is even higher because you have little ones to worry about other than yourself.

Some people suggested a dog, however I would HIGHLY recommend NOT getting a dog just for the sake of security for several reasons, one being that dogs are alot of responsibility and expense, and just getting one for that reason isn't a good one. The second reason being that all dogs are not watchdogs, even the breeds that are known for being protective. Each individual dog is different- some bark at the slightest thing (which can get annoying) while others, like my dog, would most likely happily greet an intruder and show him where all the expensive stuff is =)

Do you have a security system such as ADT or something similar? This may help you feel more comfortable- and they (as well as other companies) usually offer different plans that vary from minimal and less expensive to highly secure and very expensive.

Believe it or not, a baseball bat close by, such as the closet, can actually make a person feel a little more secure. I didn't like the idea of having guns around the house or even trust that I'd be able to use one properly in a paniced moment, but I know I'd be able to swing a baseball bat at someone's head with no problem and it doesn't really pose much of a threat to my child to have a baseball bat in my closet, because we've got baseball bats that he plays with all over in the garage.

How long have you been having to be alone at night? Often times you'll find that simply time will help you become more secure. At first, it's really scary to be alone all night, but over time, the feeling often lessens.

The ideas that a previous poster listed were good ones- giving your neighbors your phone number, and letting them know that you're home alone (I'd only do this with neighbors that are acutally FRIENDS that you really trust) Knowing someone is keeping an extra eye on your house helps.

Is there a friend or family member that could call you before bedtime- just to check in? I often have my one friend who lives far away call me for our "girl chat" just before my bedtime, it relaxes me, takes my mind off being alone, and it provides the added bonus of knowing someone has checked in on me. Should anything happen- someone has always talked to me a X time in the evening.

Self defense classes? Neighborhood watch program?

I'm running out of ideas. In all honestly, I think the longer you're home with yourself and find that you are capable of keeping your own family safe, the easier it becomes. Generally as women I think we're scared because we're used to having a man in the house- either our dad or our husband- but after we find we can watch over the place on our own- it's a nice feeling and you can sleep easier.

Answer 2

Could you get a dog or a cat maybe, the extra company after the kids go to bed might help you. Or even get a house alarm that if someone tried to open doors or windows the alarm sounds, you can still walk around in the night time. My hubby works night shift every two weeks and I am at home with my two kids (3yo and 9mo) and it doesn't bother me too much, but I have two big dogs. Every now and then I get the spooks and feel scared about being at home alone, but I have to protect my kids if something happened so I push the bad thought away and try not to think about them too much.
I do know it isn't easy especially if you aren't sleeping well. But a bit of thought and you can put your fears to rest.

Answer 3

I use to feel the same way. One thing I have done is put a monitor in their rooms so you can hear everything. Make sure your porch light is on. Keep the phone in your room and your car keys. And honestly know where the self defense things in your home are whether it be a gun, a bat, know where they are and have a plan if something comes up.
In time it will get better. I use to have my kids sleep in my room and was terrified. I am now much more relaxed but at times I still sleep on the couch by their rooms if he is gone.
Also a dog can be good protection, a good friend for kids and a good warning if someone is trying to get in.
It is basically mind over matter, you have to not let it control you, rather you control you.

Answer 4

I felt the same way when my hubby was working a late shift, he didn't get home until 3am. Eventually I became more comfortable, but when it first began, I left a few lights/tvs on and the phone near the bed. It also helped to, right before I went to bed, double check the doors, windows, and locks, and to look in on my little ones. It really did make me feel secure to know for a fact that everything was locked tight and the kids were sleeping well.

Answer 5

get an alarm system they have them even for apartments so you can feel safe. Also maybe put some music on in the living room or close to the door as possible not loud to wake the kids but it does give people the impresion someone is not only home but awake put a lamp on a timer in the living room

Finally all of things help but even with your partner home you need to realize you are not 100% safe having them there does not make you more safe. So relax do the best you can and try to forget about it

Answer 6

I was in the same situation some years ago with two girls at home and would stay awake all night waiting for my hubby to get home.So we did the following and it helped enormously:

1. Got locks installed on all windows and made all doors double locked,even my bedroom.
2.Kept the mobile phone under my pillow
3.Left a few exrta lights on in the rest of the house
4. Left a t.v or radio playing in another room for added noise
5. Had the girls sleep in my room on makeshift beds.
6. Informed neighbours to be extra vigilant and swapped phone numbers.
7.I would have warm milk and read a book before sleeping to calm me down
we did have a dog too but I found this made me more anxious because if she started barking I would think we had intruders so its not always a good idea because dogs also sense your anxiety and are more likely to bark when unsettled.

Answer 7

I am single and have to learn to sleep alone.
I got myself a little dog who has a big bark.
I also got a noise machine...I like the rain sound.
Make sure you secure all locks. Maybe even install an extra lock on your front and back door. It is so important that you sleep when you have little ones.
Do they sleep with you? That might help. but they might not want to stop that if daddy changes his hours.
But, if it helps you sleep then it might be worth a try.

Convince your self that you can sleep. Positive self talk actually works.

Answer 8

I had trouble with that too when my little ones were born. My boyfriend has to leave for work at about five in the morning, so when he woke me up to say bye for the day I couldn't get back to sleep. Since they are only three months old as of yet, it helped me immensely to put them in a bassinette and put that in the room next to me until I was suppsed to get up. Getting a puppy or a yappy dog helps too (they tend to bark at the slightest noise.)

Hope this helps,
--Max

Answer 9

I am the same way toatly feel ya. If by chance you can afford a security system it would be a great investment. That was the only thing I came up with. It's really not that much, mine only runs 60.00 a month. If you can't do that ask God for his protection over you and your lil ones and no in your heart that he will keep you safe and God will protect you. God Bless and keep safe momma.

Answer 10

Blair---Sounds like you have iron bars on the windows and doors..- I really think ya need to move.... Either live with the job ---loose sleep--- or move.....The other option is to invite a friend over to spend the nite.....
You can get a job and da da can take care of the kids.....