God programmed the world in 6 days with no debugging, then he slept for a day. He created the ADAM program, from which he spawned the EVE program.
However, a virus lurked in the system and corrupted EVE who subsequently accessed a forbidden file. ADAM was corrupted because of the I/O links with EVE.
God removed all privileges from the ADAM and EVE programs and moved them to main memory. ADAM and EVE spawned a lot of child processes. Eventually this got out of hand and God purged the RAM with a great flood of zeros, leaving only a few child processes running protected by the Automated Recovery Console, or ARC.
Again the software ran out of control. This time God had a patch JESUS ready, so he ran it. The rogue spyware infection ROMANS eventually terminated the JESUS process, but not before it could touch several other processes which continued to apply the JESUS patch.
Some processes calculate that there will be a Great Reboot soon. Now we know JESUS saves, but does God do backups?
2007-09-02 00:56:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Cat: that's ok, dude, it is not for everyone. Personally I think Cat Stevens is the epitome of lame so I guess our tastes differ.
2007-09-02 01:13:09 · update #1
Obviously this was not not widely understood; I thought it was refreshing and could only be really appreciated by connoisseurs of the nuances of satire and irony.
2007-09-02 01:35:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is this your definition of Christianity or of Christians. "you can still get drunk and have premarital sex on the weekend and repent about it on sunday? " If you think this defines Christianity then you are absolutely wrong. And how do you know that ALL Christians have premarital sex on the weekend and repent about it on sunday Did you conduct a weekend research on all Christians? Another generalization that All Christians watch porn and stuff. You are bearing false witness and then you have the audacity to say that "I've lived my life to the best of my ability to follow Christ" . Bearing false witness too does not define Christianity. In order to know why is Christianity the right religion you have to first take your advise that you give others "I say they shouldn't be doing that since it goes against the Bible" because what you are doing is also very unchristian. @ Khan do not speak without knowing anything it makes you look bad. Also if your quran says to each his own faith then why do you push your faith on others? When you think that your faith is superior remember it's your thinking that it is superior for you while for some it is something that is worthless. Also show me where Jesus said "I am not God do not worship me" The Holy Spirit is not a man look up a dictionary to learn the meaning of spirit. According to your faulty quran the Trinity consists of 3 gods God, Jesus and Mary.The lie is which you are following that a moon god is the God.
2016-04-02 23:22:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes God does offer an eternal backup. You can only get this backup from only one source. BEWARE of other false patches claiming the same capabilities as the JESUS patch 2.0 (matt 7:15)
The JESUS patch 2.0 was released 3 days after the Romans deleted the first patch. JESUS 2.0 has a new features called salvation and redemption.(john 3:15-17) You must first have the Jesus patch 2.0 in order to run the holy spirit patch(mark 1:8). With this upgrade you will have no fear of lost data.
Another patch called the HOLY SPIRIT patch 1.0 also came out shortly as well. It adds a few nice features such as IM (instant messaging) and a peer to god interface.
2007-09-02 03:19:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Did you think that up? It's actually very clever. I like it.
When the Great Reboot comes, there will be no need for backups. The satan virus will be terminated and a new program, KOG (Kingdom of God) will go into effect.
2007-09-02 01:14:52 · answer #4 · answered by Michael B - Prop. 8 Repealed! 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Did you know you have "pink eye", which is very contagious. Your explanation of the God software is entertaining, but unfortunately is not true. Who made the computer, and who made the programmer, oh, yes, God was the programmer that programmed everything. Well, we don't really know exactly, but as with all machines, you have left out one thing, and that is the soul, faith, spirit, you are really an empty type of machine, but if you debugged yourself, then I think you would think differently. You must program emotion, compassion, love, faith, all the things that human beings have, then try this scenario again.
2007-09-02 01:08:58 · answer #5 · answered by shardf 5 · 1⤊ 6⤋
It is good to know that your God doesn't know how to program!! and gets things out of control all the time!!
2007-09-02 01:06:42 · answer #6 · answered by Ahmed A 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
WOW! 2 points for exiting this window.
2007-09-02 01:12:32 · answer #7 · answered by Allan C 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
book=genesis
aa=1
bb=1
Loop
quote book aa:bb
bb=bb+1
if bb=EOF
bb=1
aa=aa+1
if aa=EOF
aa=1
book=book+1
if book=EOF
book=genesis
endif
endif
endif
Until listener<>sceptical
2007-09-02 14:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you must be the geek we are talking about but a bit misinformed after breathing life into Adam God told Adam not to eat from the tree of knowledge but Adam allowed Eve to seduce him into eating//i dont think God does backups He makes no mistakes
2007-09-02 01:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 1⤊ 6⤋
I like it! Good analogy!
2007-09-02 02:55:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋