2007-09-01 23:34:04 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
shadi aur tumse ..... kabhi nahi....
this arrange marrige only happens in india.... and some other asian countries... i have lived all over the world and in US and europe evevry body has a love marrige, also in austrailia and new zealand...
2007-09-01 23:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by Jude 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First of all let me tell you a few home truths:
people are unwilling to change. They think that in an arranged marriage there is the family present to support one. Whereas it is presumed by the hardened loveless souls that love is a product of the imagination and has no grounding in real life. Also often people see others whose love dies after they marry whereas in an arranged marriage they feel love may grow after tying the knot!
Having said all this; I must say that I had a love marriage and my love groweth still now!
2007-09-04 11:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by Rhapsodysinger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know too many women against marriage. Guys on the other hand...
Well my ex didn't want to because he wanted to be "financially stable" first, which always seemed to be getting farther away because in 4 years we increased our income 5x & it still wasn't good enough...
My new guy is only against marriage because his wife broke up with him and divorce sucks. But I think in time that'll change, even if it's not to me.
Right now I don't care. I'd like to get married one day (in the very distant future), but other than having a party to celebrate your commitment, the rest doesn't matter so much. It is a lot easier to divide things when you're not married. It still sucks, but at least what was yours is still yours and not theirs. Plus it's cheaper because divorce is really expensive and time consuming.
I think if marriage actually meant something people would still be into it, but it doesn't really mean much other than a commitment slightly higher than bf/gf, but it's not like it's really a lifetime commitment. It's only a commitment until people want to do something else.
Yeah, actually, I guess I'm still pretty bitter about marriage too. Because I think it should mean somethiing. I think it should mean life, but the truth is it doesn't. It's just something people do. But weddings are fun. Maybe I'll just have a "commitment party." That sounds like fun.
2007-09-02 06:58:29 · answer #3 · answered by Brittae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think most people are...however those who are against love marriages probably feel that way because alot of love marriages are dependent on that emotion to survive.
When the love is gone so is the marriage. When people enter into an arranged marriage, it is more of a business arrangement than a romantic arrangement.
Because the partners know they are working towards family the common goal cements the marriage.
2007-09-02 06:43:26 · answer #4 · answered by blueink 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In response to Blueink. Arrange marriage/Assisted marriage is not a business arrangement. It is family arrangement where the goal is family unit and unity. Parent introduce suitors to there kids that they believe that will make their kids happy. Parent would steer their kids aways from bad living arrangement and others that they or their kids would dislike. The western society is built on the foundation that marriage is between two people only. Where as in the East, marriage is between two families.
Also I have meet people who have had arrange marriage/assisted marriage from Africa, China, India, Pakistan and the middle east including a couple from Greece. Considering the divorce rate in the west, I think there is something to Arrange and Assisted marriages.
2007-09-02 07:29:03 · answer #5 · answered by jewelsthomas 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My simplest answer would be this.
I dont think initially when young most are not against love/marriage but the older ones do i agree because they fear pain .
emotional pain I feel many fear for it can be horrible emotional deep heart broken / abandoned/ lied to / cheated on etc from someone u loved and trusted and so when something hurts we tend to try to avoid it from happening again in the future so many choose to avoid show there feelings again completely.
I believe there are many lessons to learn and grow from and some stepping stones in life have to hurt to Help you find the right one and prevent you hopefully from repeating past choices instead learn and grow from the hurt an never stop loving from fear of getting hurt.
besides we all hurt with or w/o someone either hurt from a love or hurt from being alone too long.
change is good sometimes dont fear it ......
btw marriage many spk of money issues when divorce arises due to cheating when married so mainly money issues arise and I say if your getting married why would they even think already about what if we divorce....i would not marry that type of thinker anyway.
gl and go get married...lol'
2007-09-02 06:47:01 · answer #6 · answered by NatureOrNurture 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its very true that in modern India we're still against love marriage. Our society is still the conservative society that the west was about 50 years ago.Our parents will still disagree volubly if we marry anybody against our caste/culture/creed/age/educational/...you name it group.
Internet is pretty modern and India's young look to hollywood images as ideals to grow up into. However, the older generation of India, in keeping with older generations all over the world are slow in accepting newer images...for better or for worse. And hence most people will be against love marriage in India.
2007-09-03 23:23:54 · answer #7 · answered by some girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell u what, often v indulges in some one bcoz of our Aroused Emotions, if marriages took place in such respect, than they normally don't last long, SO people mostly Elders knows these kinof things mch better so they Condemn Love Marriages.
On the contrary, theer many people which are purely in favour of Love Marriages, so its just a matter of a case.
2007-09-06 06:23:22 · answer #8 · answered by zaib 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are people who dont mind love marriages and there are who do mind. in my family everyone including my parents and my uncles/aunties, cousins have had intercaste love marriages without any problems from their parents. on the other side i had to go through hell before marrying my bf because his family was completely aganist this love marriage though we belonged to the same community. till now i havent understood what problem they had.i think all depends on the conservativeness of a particular fly.
2007-09-05 10:59:41 · answer #9 · answered by sweetu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those who r against love marriage r parents of innocent children,coz they do not want their kids to be stuck in the wrong hands. Imagine how much pain they went thru to bring u up and suddenly one day u confess to be "in love" with somebody...that's when fear creep into them and their angry is actually their sense of defeat and failure to protect u from deceiving wolfs.
You'll only understand ,when u urself has become a parent or when u try to be in their shoes.They love u too much to simply let u go ,worrying ur choice might coz u to suffer.
2007-09-03 01:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by *♥sugar♥* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, it is true that some people are against love marriage because of their old thoughts. they think that people can live happy in love marriage and for a long time arrange marriage is going on.
2007-09-04 21:57:00 · answer #11 · answered by mohika p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋