What would YOU do?

Question

I work with this married guy at work. He and his wife have no kids and they both work. I have met his wife and she's nice. There's this chick at work who's single but has little kids. She wants this married guy real bad and is playing very obvious games to snag him. She seems to only like going for married or taken men. When the boss isn'
t around, this chick is in this guys office or sitting outside with this guy. She covers for this guy when it comes to work all the time. It doesn't matter what time of day or night it is-she always seems to know where he is and what he's doing. It's affecting the qualty of work of both and there is a no co-worker romantic relationship policy in effect. My boss asked me outright but I had no proof so kept mum. So, my boss is wondering now to. Anyway, my question is: Should I continue to stay out of this as it really is none of my business except when it comes to the work quality or, should I find a way to let his wife know?

Answer 1

It seems you have some pretty decent advice here. My take on this would be to drop the information that your boss asked you a question and then make a comment on how the quality of work seems to be slipping and don't name names.
If they are slacking in their own work and it is directly affecting your own work, then you have every right to speak to them both about it.
Sounds to me like this woman with the little kids is only trying to find someone who has been in a stable relationship so she can have a dad for her own kids. There is no good way to go about this. True, it isn't your business unless it directly affects you. However, when your boss asked you, you should have said, "I'm not sure, I don't have proof but I know work quality has been slipping latley." Leave it at that. In this society these days, there are people out there willing to just rip people to shreds to have the better cubicle. You don't need to be like that, but you do have a responsibility to your workplace and to your boss.

Answer 2

You are right ~ it is none of your business!

BUT, having said that, there is nothing worse than th whole workplace having to do extra because a couple of people have let the side down, too intent on whatever it is they are up to.

Ir is frustrating, and it is a very tough situation.

Anything you say directly, to anyone, could bounce back on you ten times over ~ the wrong doers will walk away and you'll be blamed, I've seen this happen time and again.

One approach you could take is to speak to the guy or girl, whichever you think is more likely to be concerned with getting found out, and say something like "The boss asked me a really strange thing the other day ~ s/he wanted to know was anything going on between you two. Of course, I said nothing at all, but I thought I should mention it ~ there isn't anything, is there?"

No need to mention your own suspicions, just let them know, discreetly, that their activities are being watched, and hopefully that will persuade them to put a stop to it, or take it off site.

Good luck! :-)

Answer 3

Personally, I'd stay out of it. As you said, you have no proof that anything other than a casual friendship between co-workers is going on here.

If you went with your assumptions that they were having an affair and found a way to tell the wife, it could ruin the marriage of these two nice people and it could ruin the reputation of the single woman at work. It might also ruin your reputation as well. It's best not to risk it.

If it makes you feel better to keep an eye on them, go ahead. Be reasonable, of course! (No hidden cameras, candid tape recorders, going through desks, following them after hours, private investigators, etc.) When it comes down to it, the only thing that is anyone's business is what goes on during working hours in the place of business. After hours, at home or in another location--that's only their business and shouldn't matter.

Answer 4

I would go to both of them and tell them that the boss has questioned you about their relationship. I would tell them that you did not offer any information. Also make them consider the fact that if the boss asked you, surely the boss is asking others in hopes of finding out the answer. I would let them know that their behavior is raising eyebrows. I would also let the married man know that there is always a possibility that someone will tell his wife or the boss. Tell them that they had better cool it and take it somewhere else or end it all together before someone loses a job or a spouse.

Answer 5

Soon she will hang herself to dry. I would just stay out of the middle of it.. Her work performance will get her bosses attention sooner of later and not in a positive way.. Just ignore her and do start any conversations with her unless its work related.
This way your nose is out of it and your actions are free and clear of her games and politics.

Answer 6

Unless it is actively effecting his work and you have real proof...leave it alone.

Because you are his co worker interfering in his personal life can bring you too many problems. However if it bothers you....find proof and show it to your boss. Possibly one of them will be fired and it will no longer be in your attention.

Answer 7

You should write his wife a secret letter detailing his indisrections. What? He doesn't have any? And it's all the girls fault? You must be joking yourself if you think that. It is both their faults and someone has to pay. Since one of the parties is married, it should be him, especially since he is encouraging that nasty behavior from that other slut. Grow a pair and do yer duty.

Answer 8

It's a tough situation-but anything you do to change it is liable to affect you in a bad way. I'd keep out of it.

Answer 9

Stay out of it. You have no proof, like you said. She might get mad if you told her something. It's not your place. Also, she will tell him who told her, and then you will have trouble at work for sure!

Answer 10

You've answered your own question -- It's none of your business.