Plz i need some advice just some thing simple.?

Question

I am the oldest out of 2.So i get alot of responsabilities put on me.Well anyways i have an younger brother and my mom treats him like a baby! Just last year i was begging my mom to buy me a PsP.It took me about 5 months just to get her to say yes.Well when i finaly got ,one my brother was realy jealous.And he asked 4 1 to.The next day she bough him one.Shes always making me do all the chores! I unlike my brother...have to work for the things i have.He just asks for the thinds he wants and he gets them righ away! If i get bad grades i get punished 4 them...but if he gets bad grades my mom just tells him to do better.I thinks hes like retarded or he has ADD.All of my friends have asked me that to.Its just sooo frustrating!Every time i try talking to my mom about it...i get realy mad..and just start crying.Its just sooo frustrating! Its not only rustrating but hurt full she gives me the idea that she loves him more.How can i talk to her w/o sounding mean or hurt full?

Answer 1

i have the same problem and the best thing to do is dont argue with your mom just explain to her how you feel and if she denies it then give her an example. tell her its hurting you and you would like to be treated equal.

Answer 2

Sorry to say this but you are the oldest and by being the oldest, you are the focus of a lot of decisions. Once the decision is made, it kind of follows for the younger kids - this is true even if you had 4 younger siblings instead of 1.
She doesn't love him more that you - it may seem that way but believe me, your first-born is always special! Too bad they get the brunt of all that decision-making.
Your mom may feel more comfortable making you do chores. She knows you are capable. That's why she punishes you for bad grades - because she knows you are a capable student. She may not know this about him.
Whatever his problem, she may feel that she doesn't relate to him the way she does to you. If he did have ADD, for example, it would be a learning disability and he would be tested for it and the school would want this recognized so they could adjust their teaching environment for him. For that reason, I doubt that he has unrecognized ADD. But it is something you could ask your mother about. Without sounding mean or hurtful, you would be asking just to show your concern.
If you see a particularly horrible example of her babying him, don't complain about preferential treatment. Just say that you don't think it helps to keep him from having responsibilities - in fact, it will hurt him because he has to learn these things sometime! Make your remark about him, not about you, and about his benefit, not your benefit.

Answer 3

Your brother is a "special needs child" no matter what... a lot of families treat the boy better than the girl. It is ultimately unfair to the boy because it installs unrealistic expectations into him. It will ultimately make his life a lot more difficult. You can tell your mom this, but don't expect any changes.

You are the older sister, so they will try to use you as a surrogate mother to handle stuff.

All you can do is what you "need to do" just to stay out of trouble... in other words, you do your appointed chores, do your homework, and then get out of the way. If you have to, go to a friend's house to do homework. Whenever possible, get into some extra school activities or sports just to have something else to keep you away from home.

Answer 4

wow..i used to feel the same way you do. its not your fault being the oldest that you are your mom just expects you to lead by example and then again parents are always harder on the first born then they are the youngest im a middle child to two brothers a 22 and 15 year old and trust me being that me and my older brother are so close of age we got almost the same punishments no matter how small of a thing we did always punishment and no tv or all of the above that u said but our little brother omg he gets it all and honestly he too is the Worst he gets in trouble in school comes in the house really late and gets in trouble outside with his friends doing really stupid things so trust its a natural thing. i would sit your mother down and jus talk to her in a calm way and instead of making alot of statements and demands try asking questions like why this and why that without sounding annoying or like a smarta** sometimes we just have to take a new approach when the old one doesnt work.try a different angle next time when talking. i hope it works out for you. GOOD LUCK*

Answer 5

Hi, I'm hoping I can help with your question. I can relate because I'm the oldest of three sisters and had lots of responsibilities just like you. I know you had said that you tried to talk to her but it doesn't work. Well, where do you talk to her? Maybe it's the environment. Try taking her out to lunch one day or dinner and then say Mom I really would like to speak to you about something that has been bothering me. I know we may not always agree or want to listen to our parents but in the long run they are only doing this to teach us to be strong for our other siblings. It's not fair but when you get older you'll understand. Everything happens for a reason. Although it may not sound fair, in the long run she's doing it out of love. Then again, maybe she doesn't realize that she's over-doing it. Just tell her how you feel in the nicest way possible and enjoy lunch. (Just the two of you). Tell her you would like to speak to her mother to daughter and that it upsets you when.... I just wanted to work things out so that we can come to an understanding. I hope this helps, if you have any other questions please let me know and I will try and help the best way that I can. Good luck!

Answer 6

I recommend writing down what you would like to say. Try to put examples with the points. Rehearse your points and anticipate questions or comments your mom may have. It is better to be a responder than a reactor. She will more than likely not listen if you are overly emotional, whether anger or tears so try to remain calm even if you dislike what she says. Keep in mind that sometimes parents realize they have been too hard on a child but fail to apologize and seem to make things easier on the next child. It's not that they necessarily favor the other child more but they themselves are learning to be better parents.

Answer 7

o wow this is weird the whole psp thing happened to me too. and i know what you mean by he gets away with bad grades and asking for things. i used to ask my mom all the time why she does that but she used to deny it. but then i told her to just watch how my brother behaves from someone else's perspective and asked her to just say no to him for one day and she saw how much he had gotten away with before. i dont think she realized that she was still treating him like a baby until i made her see how spoiled he was. if u cant convince her then have someone else who feels the way you do ask her then she will realize that ur not the only one who feels this way.

Answer 8

First, it's not nice to say such thing of your lil brother. it sounds like you are jealous. Mother loves all their children. She thinks that you are old enough and grown up. Avoid making drama from lil things such as a PsP..You are the oldest so you should be a role model for your lil bro. Don't let small things to get you. Your mom probably had to save up money to buy those stuff to you guys.

Answer 9

You sound like someone else .. on yahoo answers..
same story.. I answer her questions too..

move out.. and get away from all the hurt, and pain.

she favors him.. and there is nothing u can do about it..

pray for peace with in ur self..

God help me to except the things I can not change..

Answer 10

Girl your Mom loves you because she is trying to make you become responsible and independent. She maybe is not aware of what is eating you up. Try printing this YAhoo ANswer and post it somewhere where she can see it. Good luck!