My son is19 months old and I have been at home every day with him almost. The only time my parents or his parents watch him is if Im sick or have something like a doc. appt. Ive asked my mom before to watch him while I got my hair done and she said no, she always took me when I was little. Its not that I dont love every sec. with my son but I would love just to go to the store by myself or go get my hair done by my self. Or go for a jog or work out or just sit at home at watch tv other than barney. I feel like b/c my mother never asked for help i sholdnt either. I dont even know where to start to find someone to watch him for a while, Then I would pay them and feel guilty for spending my husbands hard earned money while I stay at home all day. Does any one have any advice? We dont have any friends with children or I would child swap. Then I think I want more kids but Im affraid to ask for help because people will think I cant handle it. ANy one else in the same boat? HELP me
2007-09-01 16:50:58 · 16 answers · asked by Angela C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It is perfectly ok to want help. Hire someone for an hour or so and you and your husband go out to dinner... this will not look bad on you because you want to spend time with your husband see how that goes then go from there. Dont worry so much about what other people think.... if you need a breather it is much better for you and your son that you take one and keep from getting to the breaking point. Also.... i dont think people realize how hard being a mom is... its a twenty-four seven job... we dont have weekends to rest!!! and if anyone complains let them care for a newborn for 3 hours and they will be kissing your feet for doing it all the time... trust me i did that to my sister who thought it was a piece of cake and now she calls volunteering to keep my daughter all the time to make sure i havent went crazy yet lol
2007-09-01 17:02:51 · answer #1 · answered by sheena0501 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, I was so feeling like this yesterday I just needed a break. I love my children and I thank God everyday I can be home with them however I need to be someone other then Mom.
Look for locale Moms groups they do swaps or find something that you can do a few hours a week so you can get adult interaction it really helps. I have my own business through Mary Kay there are lots of direct sales companies where you can only work a few hours a week find one that you like another idea is the locale YMCA I have a friend that works there 2 nights a week it gets her out and a discount to the Y.
2007-09-05 08:20:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Angela,
You might want to check out Meetup.com and look under playgroups and mommys or SAHM groups under you zip code. This can be a great outlet for meeting other local moms and tots for activities and friendships as well as possible tot swaps. I started a group 6 months ago and it has been amazing, and it certainly helped with my PPD. Just because your mom does things a certain way, doesn't mean you have to. Do what is best for you & your family and if a little time away makes you a better mother, DO IT. At the end of the day, you will all benefit. Good Luck!
2007-09-01 17:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with starfire. Join a mom's group... meet new friends, and eventually, you guys can swap kids or something. Maybe ask your husband to watch the kid when he comes home? Do you have siblings or sibling in laws? Cousins?
I'm in the exact position... isolated, no family and friends. My daughter is 22 months and she's driving me crazy! Yesterday I blew up and yelled at her. I feel so terrible. So yes, it's important for you to get a break. It normal to reach out for help...even if you do feel guilty (I sure do feel guilty asking for help, but feel even more guilty for yelling or even spanking her!). I heard that having 2 kids would be the same except maybe the kids won't be as lonely... they have each other to play with, so it should be a little easier.
Joining a mom's group would help you. I, on the otherhand, decided to go back to school. School is like a break from the baby for me. In the mean time, my husband's workplace is flexible enough for him to take my daughter to work just for a couple hours and then close coworker/friends of his would take her over to their house to play with their kids...
But, say you want to take a jog/walk. You can still take him with you. Put him in a jogging stroller after dinner or when it's nice and cool, or before bedtime, and go with it. My kid is quiet during walks, sometimes she falls asleep!
You should set something up with your husband so then you an afternoon for yourself... like on the weekends when he's off from work? Just once a week. Hope that helps.
2007-09-01 17:08:49 · answer #4 · answered by Busy Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should be encouraged for mums to stay at home longer & be there for their children. I stay at home with my 14 month old girl while my hubby works to pay the mortgage & bills. We just about manage but thats the sacrifice you make, I'd rather be with her giving her all the love, encouragement, nurturing & care she needs to grow into an intelligent, healthy, happy & decent young woman-no one else can instill this into your child, definately not a nursery anyway. Everyone is constantly asking me when I'm going to find a job & its getting on my nerves. I do actively look for work but theres not a whole lot that fits in with me being a mum. I don't see why I can't wait until she starts school to look at my career. I also get tired of hearing how so & so works full time & has to come home to deal with the kids, it must be such hard work she's a trooper. You know what, the childcare deal with the hardest parts all the working mum has to do is put them to bed. I don't feel sorry for a mum having to work as I know a lot of mums who do & they say they enjoy the break & feeling of satisfaction that they don't get by being a boring stay at home mum. Well thats fine but if your needs are more important maybe kids shouldn't have been on the agenda.
2016-05-19 01:07:48 · answer #5 · answered by allyson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
darling you have a job....dont let anyone ever tell you any different. It is ok, for you to need a break, even if it just to have adult conversation. Join a moms group, check online or your local paper. they normally have babysitting swaps. you cant judge your parenting skills by what your mom did. i'm sure you are a great mom. if your hubby has a problem you spending "his" money...ask him to watch the baby, and you go out for the evening. after that little time with the baby, he will encourage you to find someone else.
2007-09-04 14:52:54 · answer #6 · answered by Katrina O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join a health club. Most of them have programs in the morning with free childcare, or $2 per day at most. You could come in, work out while watching tv or listening to music, take a long hot shower uninterupted, and lay around in a hot tub or sauna for a bit. Your son would be having fun and playing with other kids, and you could have an hour or 2 of 'me' time every day.
2007-09-01 16:59:49 · answer #7 · answered by Alyssa and Chloe's Mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you don't earn money, doesn't mean you don't have a job. Your mother, and especially your husband should understand that and respect what you do. Everyone needs a day off...I'm quite sure when your husband has one he indulges in watching a basketball game or hanging out with the guys, and you deserve that too. Explain to him how you feel and I'm sure he'll agree that spending a few dollars to keep you sane and happy is well worth it.
2007-09-01 17:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by missbeans 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't fill guilty about needing time to yourself. Every mother needs it. weather they are 19 months old or 12 years old.Check in to churches and stuff in your area, they have things like mothers day out and stuff. Some of the day cares have programs like that also. Just go and check one out one day and see how they are and get references from them . Go Ahead do it you will fill so much better after a day to yourself. You deserve it. A stay at home mom. all you probable do is cook ,clean,take care of you husband and baby!
2007-09-01 17:05:07 · answer #9 · answered by thersa h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't ask your husband the child's father to watch him while you have time to yourself? We do and it is wonderful, he has time with her just him and her without me and then i have the same with her and he goes and does things. My parents are older so I don't leave her much with them since she is pretty active. You should have a relationship with your spouse that he would respect you to have time by yourself. Start by asking him first, I cannot imagine a father not wanting to spend HIS son. I go and do things on sat. and he watches her, it is so healthy for you to have time to yourself and he should realize that. Actually don't ask for his permission tell him that this is what you would like to do and see how he reacts. If there is the communication needed in the marriage relationship then it should not be a problem.
2007-09-01 17:03:46 · answer #10 · answered by cinderella 522 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋