Going to Church?

Question

I despise going to church. My mom is a devout Catholic, and she has all of a sudden started demanding that I go to church. I am not Catholic, neither is my sister or father. My mom lets my dad do whatever he wants (they won't fight about it--married 29 years). For the past year or so, she has also allowed my sister and I to stay home from church. However, since my sister moved out (off to college on Wednesday), my mom suddenly began to insist that I go to church. I hate it. I am not Catholic. I see that the church is riddled with corruption and believe that many of the core doctrines are contradictory. I have repeatedly voiced my anger with her over this, and I refuse to attend mass. She will not listen to me in this matter, and just continues to insist that I go to church. She is DEMANDING that I go, and I am not going to be forced to do something against my will that I hate so dearly. WHAT can I possibly do to help her understand this WITHOUT me attending?

SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY.

Here I Am--going to the Kingdom Hall would be absolutely pointless for me. I am an atheist.

Some of you have guessed my age. Yes, I am almost 17.

My dad can't really do anything helpful--him and my mother have a thing where if one parent tells you something, the other upholds it no questions asked. Besides, he works 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, so when he isn't working he is sleeping. He has free time maybe 2 hours a day, and those 2 hours are between 4 and 6 AM. He is of no help to me in this matter.

Answer 1

I agree with Paladin here. You may not believe, but out of respect for your mother, I believe that you should go to Mass. But what I WOULD do is talk with her, so she can understand WHY it is that you don't want to go. I grew up Catholic as well, and so I understand the belief that she has, and why she so desparately wants you to go.

I suggest that you go, and while you are there, think about how many things you find contradictory every week. Spend the next year keeping track and try to outdo yourself from week to week, to keep yourself interested.

Answer 2

you don't say how old you are, but since you are so well-spoken I would guess upper high school... I'm sure you have tried explaining to your mom exactly how important NOT going is to you. have you done this in a calm setting without raising your voice? Have you let her know that you realise how important church is for her, but that as an upcoming adult, you ask that she respect that you don't wwant to attend at this time? Don't get angry and give her all the gory details about why you think the Catholic Church is rubbish and you don't want any part of it- respect that she loves her church and religion- and maybe she will respect your feelings a little more. If you positively can't get out of it, use the time at mass to daydream, etc.... and remember, you'll be 18 soon! good luck

Answer 3

It could be that your mother is having a difficult time since your sister left for college. She probably feels the need to have you near her.

I don't know how old you are ..but when you live under your parents roof it is expected that you abide by their rules.

You can do whatever you want when that time comes that you leave home.

Just hang in there. My spouse came from a devout Catholic up bringing and left this religion and became Christian with a deep understanding and relationship with God and not religion along with it's so called rituals and laws.

Answer 4

Your mom should understand that you are not ready to be involved in the Catholic Church right now, if ever. My parents didn't raise me anything but general Christian, and in April I became Catholic, some of the doctrines do contridict themselves, but at the same point they do make sense as well, simply because you must have faith to believe them.

If your problem is going to the Catholic church, maybe your mom would be less demanding if you went to any church at all. From a motherly point of view she could just be trying to get you to be religious of some sort. Have you tried talking to her about becoming something else, if you are even interested in becoming something else.

From the Catholic stand point now, she is simply trying to express to you her faith, and her religious point of view, but she does need to respect your opinions too. As Catholics, and Christians it is not for us to demand and judge, but to set an example and hope that others follow in Christ's footsteps.

Good Luck and I hope I helped.

Answer 5

Perhaps your mother is going through a hard time and would like some company for this activity which is important for her. For her it is quality time with you; she also may feel it is an obligation as a mother to share something she considers to be of crucial importance with you.

Accompaning her to this activity or any other would be a kindness to your mother; it does not have to affect your personal beliefs or integrity.

However, if you can't stomach it, perhaps there is another form of quality time you could suggest to her.

If her beliefs provide comfort to her, it is unkind for you to attack them. If she insists on discussing doctrine, then you can recognize their validity for her, even if you don't agree. You will not convince her to drop out and stay home on Sunday, and would you really want her to give up something that is obviously important to her?

Best wishes---

Answer 6

Well...talk to her. That's a lost art in families now-a-days. It isn't wrong not to listen to her but it won't hurt to attend to help her feel happy.

If you do every decide to go to a church, take this advice:

Do not serch for a place that fits your ideas and opinions but instead look for a place where you can learn actual truth and fact.

Most people do not even take this into mind when looking for a place to be or a thing to do...search for truth with an open mind and never give up!

Answer 7

You know, I'm not really sure how to get you out of this. I, myself, have a problem. I haven't stepped foot in a church since I was 9ish and I'm 22 now but I told this couple that comes in my store all the time that I had Sunday off and I'd go to church with them if they promised to help us out on our sales contest. Well they did and now I really really really don't want to go.

Answer 8

Tough luck, dude. The only way I can think to argue against her narrow-minded attitude is to say this:

Does she think that you being forced to go to church against your will when you don't believe most, if not all, of what's being taught is any more productive than for you not to go at all? In other words, is your soul in any less peril (I'm guessing this is what she's concerned about) if you attend against your will rather than not going at all?

Besides, I would also point out that a belief system that (seems to) center on forcing one's belief on others isn't nearly as appealing as a belief system where one is able to choose whether one believes.

Good luck. I feel for you.

Answer 9

Seriously, warn her that you would likely embarrass her, because you're not a Catholic and most likely won't get anything out of it but a few good laughs at inappropriate times. I'm not sure how old you are, but you may want to talk to your father about the situation. Dad may be sympathetic to your plight. If not, well, you're just going to have to bite the bullet on this one, just make sure you bring some good reading material with you. Good luck.

Answer 10

Think of all the things your mother has done for you that she didn't want to and couldn't possibly have enjoyed, but she did them anyway. You don't have to swallow everything they tell you at church, but go as a favor to her. Once you're out of the house, you're free to do as you please, but do her this small favor. You won't always have your mother.

Humanist who occasionally attends church with his mother, even though practically everyone in the congregation, including the pastor, knows I'm not religious.