My dad's an alcoholic and when he drinks he is a completely different person...he is really mean. He's been like this my whole life..so my mom divorced him because he gets out of control and now sometimes I'm home alone with him and when he's drunk he always finds something to fight about..he targets who ever he's around. I also think he is depressed...well actually i know he's depressed and I feel bad for him sometimes..but most of the time I get really mad. I love him so much and I know he loves me too..he just acts completely different when he drinks. He knows he has a problem but he doesn't really do anything about it. I don't know how to talk to him about it..I never have..I'm afraid.. I don't know ..what do you think? I just don't want to grow up and be one of those people who never really had a father figure..I feel like I'll regret never doign anything about it..btw I'm 15.
tell me what you think...ok thank you
2007-09-01 15:01:41 · 8 answers · asked by Stacy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
wait til hes sober then tell him what you see when hes drunk. tell him that it scares you and you wont be around that. maybe he wil choose you over drinking..... some people dont really see a problem with drinking. thats a problem.
2007-09-01 15:11:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you can't do anything about it unless he's ready to change. Have you told him you love him BUT you don't like the way he acts when he drinks? It's the person alcohol makes him that you don't like. I KNOW, believe me I KNOW. I would advise you, IF you can, to try to join an Alateen group or at least go visit one & see how you like it. I guarentee you w/hear stories that you think they're talking about you. They w/help give you support & tools you can use that w/help you when you're around him when he's drunk. I went to AA & Alanon for 15 yrs. I have always said, AA saved my life, Alanon saved my sanity. When someone is drunk & talks or puts blame on you, they actually are talking about themselves! Alcohol IS a depressant. If he's depressed, alcohol w/just magnify it, make it worse. Like I said, tell him you really love him, but when he drinks it changes him to a complete different person & you're afraid of the person he changes in to. The ONLY way he's going to stop, is to get help. And, sadly enuf, people don't change until they've "hit bottom". I mean get to the point where they realize they HAVE TO DO SOMETHING & can't stand who they are, what they're doing to others, & just need to stop drinking period. Maybe instead of telling him in person, you could just write him a "heart to heart" letter. Tell him exactly how you feel. Make sure you assure him you love him, but not the person he turns into when he drinks. He has a personality change, & that's what alcohol does. People think they drink their problems away, but actually, they are magnifying it 100%. Try to find some kind of a mtg. you can go to to help you. Look up an 800# for Alcohol help. Ask them where there is an Alateen mtg. in your area. I GUARENTEE it w/help you. I do WISH YOU the VERY BEST, honey...
2007-09-01 15:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have to see ur dad like that. I grew up seeing my mom like that until I was ur age. There is nothing you can really do. I hate to say it. I know how badly it hurts to see someone you love so much hurt themselves. My best advice to you would be to try talking to him when he's sober. Maybe just sit down and have a talk with him about how he is and gradually ease into the alcohol and let him know that you do care, but that it does hurt you when he drinks. Maybe offer to help him find help. I know AA worked wonders for my mom. When he is drunk though, do not try talking to him then. You can not talk with a drunk, you can not rationalize with them. A lot of times drunks will tell you they aren't drunk when clearly they are. So, if you know that he's been drinking just leave him alone. My biggest encouragement for my mom was us kids, so maybe if you let ur dad know how badly it hurts you he will do something to fix it.
2007-09-01 17:00:35 · answer #3 · answered by 4AngelGrls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your very young to shoulder that kind of problem. but im proud of you. in your young age you tried to think the possible solution for the problem of your family.
i think you should talk to your father. yes, i know its frightening but if you love your father you are willing to take the risk. your fear is understandable because as you said you never talk to him about it. but i advice you to talk to him in private. you can invite him on a dinner for the two of you, or plan a picnic or anything that wii get his interest. then at that time when he has in a good mood. try to talk to him about the problems. tell him that you love him and you dont want him to drink. tell him that your always there for him. say all the things which you think that will touch his heart. maybe that will help him to lessen the problems he had that makes him drink.
good luck.
2007-09-01 15:23:52 · answer #4 · answered by NOEMIE08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really cant make him stop hun.
when he does drink stay away from him.
im 14 and i grew up without a father figure he walked out on me my mom and my 2 sisters when i was 4 i am really close with him though. so as long as you stay in touch with your dad. youll still have a father figure in your life....
2007-09-01 15:18:35 · answer #5 · answered by Kayla Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to convince him to do something about the depression.
I would not be surprised if his drinking and his meanness is because of the depression.
Good Luck.
2007-09-01 15:12:51 · answer #6 · answered by Dimitar A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if hes understanding when he doesn't drink, just sit down and talk to him and tell him about how you feel about him drinking.
2007-09-01 15:10:23 · answer #7 · answered by orlyskip 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweety, unless he really Wants to stop, you cant make him...
2007-09-01 15:09:46 · answer #8 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋