Ok,me and my (hopefully) soon to be hubby.are trying to pick a date for the wedding ,but the kicker is that we have changed it over 5 times in two years!Each time it gets closer he says that he wants to wait one more year or starts talking about changeing the month. How can i get him to stay with one date and year? what could i do?
2007-09-01 07:46:18 · 16 answers · asked by crystalynn d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
he really has no reason why he want to keep pushing it back, i'll have ask why and he just says he's not sure what he wants,we both dont want a big wedding,i would love to have a handfesting wedding but we both are ok with just going to thr courthouse,we would like it on Halloween and all was ok with it be next month but he then started with the moveing it till Nov. so his brother could be their,i said we could have the party in Nov. but would still like the wedding to be in Oct. i'm at my wists end.
2007-09-01 08:07:33 · update #1
You need to talk to him less about "dates" and more about why he is clearly not ready to get married.
2007-09-01 07:53:54 · answer #1 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but it sounds like this man is full of excuses.
I'd be asking why and what's really going on if I were you!
In two years, if you both were really okay with a ct.house wedding, you couldn't have found a day to take off work and go down there? That seems odd. Also, it only takes about three-4 months to plan a smallish ceremony and reception, so what's up with that? If he is now saying November, tell him great! We're doing it on Nov. 24. I'm starting today to buy stuff and plan it!
If he has excuses still,then this man does not want to marry you!
A man who is madly in love with you and can't wait to marry you will do just that. Not wait to marry you!
Better to know now and not waste another moment on him if this is the case! Talk to him now!
2007-09-01 15:20:27 · answer #2 · answered by valschmal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If changed it once or possibly even twice, okay. but going on the 6th time? No. It is obvious he is nervous, scared and not ready if he "gets cold feet" each time.
If he doesn't marry you with this date in October, that is a sign you two are not going to get married. 2 years have gone by, by the 3rd year of passing it up, it is a major issue.
You need to put your foot down and say either it is October or it is never. It is not right to keep pushing it around if no legit reason besides "not sure what I want" as it is obvious, he isn't sure what he wants to do yet...marriage or no marriage?
2007-09-01 21:12:30 · answer #3 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Choosing a wedding date is not hard at all. Unless something major happens (death, hospitalization etc.) there shouldn't be a reason why it is taking 2 years to choose a wedding date. To be honest, it sounds like your fiance is not ready for marriage.
I recommend that you all communicate more about the relationship right now instead of the wedding because your fiance' is not ready for the commitment. Ask him to be truthful with you concerning his feeling about getting married because taking 2 years to set a wedding date is strange and unusual.
2007-09-01 15:30:39 · answer #4 · answered by stergre1975 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know you or your fiance, but from your question, it really sounds to me like he's just not ready to get married. The reasons you listed aren't solid reasons for a delay.
Maybe he's the first one of his group of friends to be married, and he's worried about fitting in with them still. Or maybe he feels like he was pressured into proposing. Or maybe he's just shy and doesn't want to have a big traditional wedding, but you do, and he doesn't know how to tell you.
We moved our wedding back also, but it was because I found out I was pregnant, and we didn't want to plan a wedding at the same time, nor did we want everyone gossiping about how we only married because of the baby.
And then we picked a new date, but a few months before hand, we decided to move it up a few weeks, to fit with the schedules of our guests better.
Those were valid reasons for moving it. Just to ambiguously wait one more year (unless he says to wait one more year and save money, or wait because he just changed jobs or graduated or something like that) is just a reason for you to question whether he really wants to do this or not.
2007-09-01 14:56:22 · answer #5 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure he wants to get married? This sounds like a man that is uncertain of marriage. Instead of talking about the wedding, I feel you all should have a heart to heart talk about marriage. Consider talking to a minister, or professional counselor for pre-marital counseling. Besides, most brides pick the wedding date.
2007-09-01 15:22:11 · answer #6 · answered by Who me? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've been engaged for two years and he still can't make up his mind?
The engagement is really the commitment of marriage already. It's just a time period for which to get the ceremony details figured out.
Tell him that, and he may feel less pressure or cold feet if he feels like he's already married. The ceremony is just a climax to the story. And we all know climax's are good!
2007-09-05 14:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by 1GR8GRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should stop making excuses.
Sounds like he isn't interested in getting married. Not to sound mean but did you pressure him into proposing? He really sounds like he doesn't want to get married.
Talk with him, find out why for sure. If he keeps making excuses, tell him to just get married by the JoP and have a little party afterwards and see what he says.
2007-09-01 16:02:11 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoa.. it seems like he can't make up his mind about your wedding date. and for that long? it seems like there's a bigger, god forbid, more serious reason to that.
cold feet? hmm.. seems like his is 'frozen' for a while...
does he have commitment issues before you had your relationship? or is there a sort of financial roadblock?
what does your family feel about it? you should try talking to them how you'll be able to get through this, and tie the knot hopefully as soon as possible. or you should try to talk to him about this, find out what's really going on. Good luck, and congratulations on the engagement. : )
2007-09-01 14:58:26 · answer #9 · answered by joey_joie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would be asking him if he really wants to get married at all and if he has some committment issues. Tell him that you stick to that date or there will be no wedding at all. He cant keep stuffing you around like this.
2007-09-03 20:06:14 · answer #10 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How are you picking a date without reserving anything?
Usually whether the hall/church or other is available is what determines the date. What you need to do is book a hall, caterer etc and then he can't change the date or you'll lose your deposit, maybe that will be his incentive to stop changing the date.
2007-09-01 17:38:45 · answer #11 · answered by Reba 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋