OK, I'm a Christian, a very strong one but only 14, so I need some advice. I understand that homosexuality is a sin, and I'm not passive about it because everyone else is, but I don't go around hating them. I just believe it's wrong. About a month ago, I met this really cool, nice, all around good guy. So we've been hanging out for a while, and about two days ago he told me that he's bi. Now I don't hate this kid or even dislike him still, he's still my friend. But I can't help but feel the more I talk to him acting like I don't feel anything about homosexuality that I'm almost accepting it like the rest of the world is. I want to talk to him about what I think of homosexuality, but I really don't want to lose him as a friend because he's a really cool guy, but if I tell him I'm against it I'm afraid he'll think I'm the same as everyone else and he'll think I hate him. What should I do and how should I do it because I really want him to know my views?
2007-09-01 06:23:00 · 24 answers · asked by spinelli 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
He's about 16 I think. 11th grade.
2007-09-01 06:44:31 · update #1
Our Lord promised us that we would be rejected because we support him. My heart goes out to you. It is hard enough to be a Christian in today's world without a problem like this.
First of all, I agree with you. We are not called to hate the homosexual. We are called to treat them as others. Yet, in my opinion as one who has studied both sides of the issue, the scripture does condemn homosexual sex.
I think that you are correct that you need to discuss this with him.
EDIT: I was rereading this and I think I misunderstood a sentence. You do believe that homosexuality is wrong and you don't want to keep silence about this. So I am sorry I gave an inappropriate answer.
Let me clarify by saying that I don't think your friendship should be based on whether or not he changes. All of us are sinners and homosexuality is no more terrible than sins you and I may have committed. I agree with you that homosexual sin in wrong. But remember that God loves your friend and he is his child also.
You are correct that your friendship is in danger. By your silence, he may assume that you accept his lifestyle. Any secret like this can hurt a friendship.
However, you also need to understand that if you tell him how you fell you may lose the friendship. You also will have people at school saying that you are a homophobe and some others may avoid you. This is a risk that Christians take when they are honest.
I would encourage you to talk with your pastor so you can get some personal advice from a person you know and trust. He/she can also be available to support you if your friend or others respond poorly to this.
If you decide to share with him, please do so with love. Let him know that it is troubling you that there is this secret between you. That you think it is important that he understand how you feel about homosexuality.
Make it clear, if it is true, that you want to remain friends and wanted him to know the truth about how you feel. A good friend will honor your truthfulness. But the chances are good that you will loose the friendship.
Only you can decide whether or not you want to risk the friendship and the possible labeling. You sound like a strong Christian and may God bless you.
Pastor John
Addendum: If you want the other side of this as part of making your decision, you might email Georgia Peach on this forum. I believe that he is a homosexual and a Christian, and he has struck me as being intelligent and knowledgeable.
2007-09-01 06:26:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 6⤋
I will use an example of something in my own life that may help you. I knew someone , who considered me a very good friend, at one time- she was married, and had 2 young boys at the time. No, she did not turn homosexual, but she was contemplating having an affair with someone- and then later she did. This is what I said- "I will always love you as a friend, but your affair, I will not ever condone. I told her I would never babysit her boys, for her to go out and have affair with a someone. God says sex outside of marriage is wrong. I do not know how old your friend is but if he is around your age, he should not be having sex with any body, let alone someone of his own sex. You can love him, without accepting the sin. You know that he is bi- so he must have told you- if you need to share your beliefs with him, do it with advice from a more mature christian- like a Pastor even- you do not want to turn the guy off to your friendship or the love and forgiveness of God. My daughter is 15 and has friends who say that they are gay- however she does not condone the lifestyle- she just loves the person as Jesus would. Hang in there, it is wonderful to see such a young person, asking such grown up questions. Wish more adults would be as loving as you.
2007-09-01 06:42:14 · answer #2 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hope I have not answered this too late . There is nothing wrong with being friends with this boy. Jesus lived mostly among those who needed him most. If you truly care for this boys soul then befriend him. Learn about him. At this age most kids can get confused about what they see going on in the world. Don't judge him that is god's job not ours. yours is to show him Christ's love and forgiveness. When the time comes talk to him about his beliefs and share yours but do not talk to him about being gay and a sinner, unless he asks you. take him to bible teachings with other teens and let him learn about God and how he is loved and forgiven anything he has done, just like all of us. You will serve him and god best by showing him love and forgiveness and standing by him even when you do not agree with choices he makes. Tolerance means being his Friend even when you do not agree with his beliefs. It does not mean you think it is right. The world today sees tolerance as meaning everything is right but we know there can only be one truth, not many.
2007-09-04 05:49:12 · answer #3 · answered by Connie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you will obviously never learn about God's love from that troubled oaf. Get a life, leave that church and consider whether you really need to accept any kind of organised religion. Fellowship can be found anywhere. Gautama Buddha said it is not our business to worry about god. The concept implies infinity. Man is finite, thus cannot grasp infinity. So man is wasting his time in trying to do so. Gautama Buddha said: Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
2016-05-18 22:03:35 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think homosexuality is wrong? Do you honestly think that for yourself, or do you think it because you were told to? If you truly want this guy to be your friend, you will accept him for who he is and not try to change him. It is not your place to tell him he is wrong. All sin is equal in god's eyes - he is no more guilty of anything than you are. I can't remember the exact verse, but doesn't the bible say, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of god"? This homosexuality thing has been blown way out of proportion.
As long as your friend is not doing anything to harm you, I say let him be. He seems like someone who is a nice enough person; if he wasn't, I doubt you would consider him a friend. This probably isn't the answer you wanted, but I just thought I would give my view on it. You can take it or leave it. Think for yourself, honey, and don't go strictly by what your parents, teachers, or anyone else tells you to think. You'll end up a better person for it in the end.
Brightest Wishes and Blessed Be!
2007-09-01 06:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by witch_chick_2003 3 · 2⤊ 5⤋
I'm gonna guess that he's around 14 as well(but you didn't mention it) . Regardless of whether he's 13, 14 , 15 , 16 , whatever , he's too young to be having sex so therefore he could not or should not 'know' whether he's bi or not .
Here's what I suggest . First talk with a pastor or other leader in the church . Tell them about your friend and his statements . They will offer you understanding . Secondly , ask if you can invite your friend to come with you for another meeting with that church leader . Thirdly , invite your friend and make sure that it's gonna only be an hour and he can leave anytime he wants . But try to get him to agree to an hour first .
There are things that we don't understand in our youth and even in our adulthood . You did do the right thing by asking older folks for help . Good Job !!
Now be the friend you say you are , and go help your 'brother' .
2007-09-01 06:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
I agree with all you have said, and know where you are coming from.
I believe within my heart that you can like/love the person and not like what they do.
I do not believe that shunning them, or not being a friend to a gay/bi person is what is asked of us Christians. I believe we are to show others that we are forgiving, and we are the type of people who reach out to everyone, regardless of their shortcomings, and faults.
My husband has an Aunt who is gay, we were married 20 years before I found this out. I love her for the person she is, I don't agree with her lifestyle, but I refuse to turn my back on her, she is family!
2007-09-01 09:10:32 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ ♥Be Happi♥ ♥ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
God hates the sin, not the sinner. Remember in Scripture, Jesus sat down and ate with sinners on several occasions. He was criticized for this, but his answer was, people that are not sick do not need a physician. Go ahead, talk to your friend about your beliefs. The Lord may have put you in his path, for you to be a witness to him. God Bless You!
2007-09-01 10:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by bear 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That's a hard one because the homosexual world perceives all Christians as "homophobic" because we don't condone their lifestyle. I was once in your position. When I was very young I grew up in church with a guy who was like my brother. We hung out together. He even helped me plan my wedding. He was gay. Unlike you however, he KNEW his lifestyle was a sin because he grew up in church hearing it. He knew the consequences of his choice of lifestyle & he paid the ultimate price - his life. I lost him to AIDS when he was only 24 years old. I am not homophobic, but as a Christian I cannot condone the sin of homosexuality. The position you're in is tough because the Bible tells us not to be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers. Many people choose to use this verse in reference to marriages but it really applies to all of life. We shouldn't be unequally yoked in friendships, business, etc. I've been burned by that more times than I care to remember. Their ethics, morals & standards are just not the same. While I don't think you should cut off your friendship with this guy because of his revelation (you would certainly appear homophobic if you do) you also need to be very clear that you do not condone his lifestyle. If he talks about it to you there is a reason. He is seeking reassurance & acceptance. Don't give it. Tell him that you are happy to be friends with him but you do not condone his choice of bi-sexuality. When he asks further, tell him why. We are called to be Christ-like. What did Jesus do when he met with a sinner? Consider the adulterous woman at the well. He be-friended her then told her of her sin, forgave her & told her to "go & sin no more." Pray that God will make a way for you to talk to your friend about this. He is good at giving you the right words at just the right time. He's done it for me time & again. God bless!
2007-09-01 06:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by Pamela 5 · 3⤊ 4⤋
don't worry so much about what he thinks of you but at same time be s ensitive and wait to of these things until you ahve developed ttust for sure. Remember, homosexuality is a sin that comes from the first sin , turning away from God. If you speak of God and turning towards him through Jesus you may see him won to Christ and hopefully the rest will take care of itself. that is the first priority; if you really love this person, and since you wrote a question i assume you do; then you must see that he understands the way of salvation. specific sins are just symptoms of the bigger problem; and homosexuality as gross as it is is just that and no more, no less....best wishes...how old is this friend?
2007-09-01 06:32:00 · answer #10 · answered by karen i 5 · 1⤊ 5⤋