i had high self esteem now im pregnant and my man is acting different...what can i do?

Question

my boyfriend is acting different now that im pregnant, at first he was lovy dobby but now we hardly talk, communicate and we have arguments every other day, anything little he makes it big so he wont have to speak to me, im afraid he's cheating, today i heard his voicemail, and i know is bad snoping around, but i just had this feeling...well it was a girl, that called him, saying she was on her break and wanted to talk to him , and she even called him a little silly boy, but in a fliirtasious way, i dont want to assume nothing but im pregnant and i feel bad about myself, in this club website i seen the gallery picture page and there was him and a girl that was so called just a friend wrapping her hands around his waist from his back, when i comfronted him, he reversed everything on me, and didnt even talk to me for a day or two, i cant take this anymore i feel worthless, and im only 15 weeks pregnant, he lives with me, and i take him to work and back, i think he might be using me. help

Answer 1

It is a shame that you have to get rid of your child's father, but you do. You need to preserve your self-esteem. Don't let this selfish jerk change how you feel about yourself. He is manipulating you, and his turning everything around so that it's your fault, and he doesn't have to speak to you, is emotionally abusive. Being a single mother is hard, but it's better than raising a child in an environment where one parent uses the other and gets to do whatever he wants at the expense of everyone else. Go now so you can have a happier pregnancy, and raise your child in a better environment.

Answer 2

I think you need to sit down with him, and have a serious talk. You need to put straight the facts. You are pregnant, you both are now creating a family, and you both need to grow up for the sake of your baby.

I read your other questions, and I see you have no sexual drive now after being pregnant. This is probably a reason for him to be like he is now. I would suggest that you two try to get into some kind of “agreement” about sex. If you two are in love, then you both know that there are sacrifices to make. He needs to hold on for his sex desires until you are back to normal.

On the other hand, you can always give him a little surprise from time to time and give him some good sex. Of course, you need to make sure you do positions that are safe for your pregnancy and the baby. Some women just don’t want to know about sex while pregnant, but everybody is different, and again, sacrifices come from both sides. Of course you are carrying the baby so you shouldn’t have to do as much as he does, but still, showing him you care should make him happy.

But all this should be discussed with the facts that you don’t want to loose him and that you just want him to help you with the pregnancy. He should understand unless he is a complete jerk and self fish.

There is also another factor and that is the big belly you are about to get. Some guys don’t like that, others don’t care, and also there are some that actually like it. I particularly like it as I think is sexy to see a woman carrying a baby. Is part of life and more when is my baby too. Is a symbol of love, of what resulted from our love.

Hopefully your b/f can grow up fast enough to start understanding all this, and to start having real feelings for what life and love really is.

Let him know how much yo need him, how much you desire him, and how much you want him to be the father for your baby. He might be scared, and is normal. Both of you need to stick together and try to help each other as much as you can.

Good luck.

Answer 3

This is not an unusual situation that happens when 2 people decide to shack up together rather than getting on the same page with a plan for marriage and family. Sounds like neither of you are prepared for this.

Talk to your parents immediately, if possible, or your church pastor. YOu need comforting, and then you need to engage the father in discussion about what's going on.

Good Luck

Answer 4

you left out a lot of details that would make it easier to analyse the situation. assuming that you are both adults, and at least in your 20s, I think it looks like your so-called boyfriend doesn't want to be a daddy, and is looking for someone else. see a lawyer about child support. did you discuss having children before all this?
the living arragements are problematic, and probably won't last much longer. I hope you are prepared for that.
and it does sound like he's using you. good luck, and get some help.

Answer 5

Don't THINK... Do something about it. Its so obvious that he's using him. Its in both of your interests that u guys sit and talk it out calmly... REPEAT... CALMLY...

Cuz u're pregnant and the last thing that should be happening is an argument or even worse a fight that'll leave u heartbroken.

Cheers

Answer 6

Tough one. When me and my girl were pregnat, we had arguments and stuff too. Maybe we just try to escape the hellish atmosphere we feel around each other. I cheated on my girl with my other lover, my 1979 trans am. Dont assume untill you know, then dump his ***.

Answer 7

Oh, I think he might be cheating on you, maybe you can call the maury show, they do lie detector test, or maybe he is stressed out you are pregnant and you don't realize how much of a pain it is for him? (no offence men see things differently.) Well, best of luck for you, your baby and man!

Answer 8

one more single mothership