The WaterFall of tears
when i cry
i look at the sky
i wish that i can fly
so people will never see my cry
and will never be shy
When somebody sinks into my tears
he sees a very huge waterfall
A waterfall of tears which does always increase
and asks how can a creature so small
has all this misery in a waterfall ?!
i hope u like it
its a writing of mine
but dont think im so misrable
its just one sad day !
2007-09-01 01:48:41 · 8 answers · asked by noname 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well...its ur opinion if u think that its not that good its ur opinion after all !
2007-09-01 02:01:19 · update #1
well...its ur opinion if u think that its not that good its ur opinion after all !
2007-09-01 02:01:42 · update #2
No I don't like it.I think it's too simple.Spice it up a bit.
2007-09-01 01:54:09 · answer #1 · answered by WannabeyourAccomplice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your grammar needs improvement.
Who will never be shy and what does flying have to do with that?
All in all, I liked it. Thank you.
2007-09-01 02:03:34 · answer #2 · answered by Robert B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It a very good poem you have to improve in your wprdimg and sentancing otherwise Good keep it up!!!
2007-09-01 01:56:03 · answer #3 · answered by lszondi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my best wises to u i think your teacher like it. if u a student /
your think is well./writing , & culture with girlfriends also a good wisher.
2007-09-03 01:16:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
overused rhymes
2007-09-01 02:01:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a lot of "forced rhyme"
2007-09-01 01:59:37 · answer #6 · answered by who said that? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it goes from rhyming to not rhyming.
2007-09-01 02:08:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thanx D you made my day .cool
2007-09-01 01:55:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋