So I have custody of my two nieces for the second time in their lives and they are only 6 and 8 years old. It always surprises me how wowed people our by this, I have my own 6 year old and am single. But I wouldn't think twice, this is my family! So my sister just had a newborn baby, the state decided to take custody, so here I am with a newborn. Now people just think I am stupid when I feel they are the ones who need to change their views. We are so set on individualism, and such a selfish culture I work in the community and believe it takes a village, my daughters family is from mexico and although they do praise me, they also no this is part of my responsibilty, these children need me, everyone else see's it as a choice and that I'm not making a good one because I will be too overwhelmed, it just blows me away how selfish we are.
2007-09-01 01:05:23 · 7 answers · asked by Linzanne 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Our collective attitude toward parenting seems to be that it is an expensive hobby like stamp collecting or tropical fish. One is welcome to participate, but shouldn't look to the community for any support or involvement -- even tho 60% of the households in the community are engaged in the same hobby! Crazy.
2007-09-01 02:23:03 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that the other people do not understand that the children are your sister's children. Most people in that situation would believe that the children are yours. I get this all the time. Most people believe that my sister, my brother, and my father are my daughter, my son, and my husband. The first scenario is the truth. I can't stand going out of the house without my mother.
2007-09-01 08:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be congratulated for keeping your nieces with your family and out of the foster care system! You are a kind and generous person and your nieces will greatly benefit by your love and the example you are setting for them. I wish there were more people like you.
2007-09-04 22:29:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being specific about what people say that bothers you. I don't think helping is taboo in our culture at all. I'm glad you can be there for your nieces, it sounds like they really need you and you're doing the right thing. That's what family is for! I would do the same thing in your situation.
2007-09-01 08:23:20 · answer #4 · answered by Momof2grrls 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think some people just can't understand how this situation isn't overwhelming for you. They probably don't mean to be offensive. There maybe a bit of a tough love element to it as well...maybe they think you are allowing your sister to walk all over you...you are always there to clean up her messes for her. I just hope you are doing all this for the kids and not for your sister. She needs to take some responsibility and clean up her life before she messes these poor girls up permanantly.
2007-09-01 22:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how being wowed by your commitment means they are selfish and are against helping out others.
I've taken care of my sister's child, too - not everyone has the means to do what we do. To judge them for making different choices (when they hurt no one) is the same as them judging me for my decision.
2007-09-01 08:13:29 · answer #6 · answered by Buttercup 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
most people think you are unnecessarily taking on more than you can handle... most ppl couldn't handle that. I sure as hell couldn't.
2007-09-01 08:24:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋