lack of respect in children?

Question

I read this paragraph about instilling respect in children, and it got me thinking. How many children now a days seem to act so disrespectful to everyone, and think it is there right to act this way. I know if I ever acted as disrespectful like that to anyone I would be in alot of trouble with my parents as a child.

Do you think it is because of lack of time? television raising our children, videos that teach our children, society as a whole excepting this behavior? is it because the whole village is not raising a child now a days- people dont want to get involved?

It seems a sad day when you see these gangs controlling the street and people afraid to step up to these CHILDREN OF THE STREETS and say hey you are being disrespectful and need to learn how to treat others with respect.

Just was wondering what others think of this?

the article i referred to is in this link listed below
http://www.tparents.org/Library/Unification/Books/RCoP/RCoP-4-03.htm

Answer 1

I don't know about others but I was raised with a healthy fear of parents and my elders in general because when I stepped out of line I knew there would be consequences. I was spanked and I have never once considered myself abused. I also knew very early on that I had to earn what I was given. I didn't ask or expect to get something every time my mother pulled out her wallet in a store. And I sure as hell never got rewarded for throwing a fit . My mother was a single mom and I was a "latch key kid" but I never would have dreamed of running the streets, getting in to trouble, or disrespecting my community and neighbors just because she wasn't standing over me by that time I knew what respect was and I knew how to act in public and at home. I firmly believe that the youth of America changed when popular opinion made parents afraid to discipline their kids. There is a huge difference between a beating and a spanking. Parents have given control over to the kids and the rest of us have to live with the nightmare they've created.

Answer 2

I can not comment on the gangs . I feel that have been around for a long time.

As for the lack of respect that children give people I feel it is a society as a whole excepting this behavior... But also parents are the start and finish of it ..

Not TV, or videos. I grew up with the TV as a baby sitter and we played videos hours on end. But had I even thought about steeping out of line, anywhere, I would not be walking straight right now. Because my 'fear' of my mother coming after me for it would end any idea of disrespecting one or anything right then an there..

Answer 3

I am a couselor who works with behaviorally troubled children in a partial care setting. Before that, I was a juvenile detention officer. I have observed so much disrespect and disregard for not only adults, but people in general. While I do not see a clear cut answer, one theme always seems to be the same: a sense of entitlement. It seems adolescents these days think they should me given everything, including respect without having it themselves. It is the culmination of so much, but this sense of entitlement, where ever it comes from, seems to be causing a huge shift in the behaviors of children.

Answer 4

All of the above plus some parents are afraid to spank their kids any more.Once my son threaten to call the law on me.I told him to go ahead they can take you to live with someone else .I don't approve of people beating their kids,but I got a spanking when I deserved it when I was growing up and I had a lot of respect for my parents.


(Many blessings)

Answer 5

working parents, peer group stress, no granparents at home to instil values

Answer 6

we should better worry about the children at home that are also going on the same way...

Answer 7

This question has been talked about in the parenting group and here is some of their replies.

Person1
But you know what? My kids know fer damn sure
that im not afraid to spank the living **** out of them in public!
And that i dont give a damn whos watching. I will never put myself in
a position to earn disrespect. I brought you into this world and you
little **** I can take you out! I had a lady callthe cops on me once
at the grocery store because I threatened to slap my son in the deli
section next to the Oscar Meyer bologna. He said with quite a bit of
conviction, "This is BULLSHIT!" I said if you ever say to that to me
again I will knock the crap out of you and I dont give a damn whos
watching do you understand me?" The cop found me- I hard to miss with
6 kids and a husband all dragging behind me with the "can i have
this? can i have that? and hey babe do we have enuff to get this
too?" i had to explain myself to the cop and he said its not against
the law to spank you child but we do have to make a police report of
the incident. i said well you do it but i have to leave. Ipointed and
screamed,"Talk to her! She apparently heard it all and is the one
that called you." She proceeded to follow us to Arbys and on the way
to the Arbys my son said I owed him everything because it was my
choice to bring him into this world and he didnt ask to be born.
OOOOHHH no! i let him have it verbally in the car. There were other
families inthe Arbys as well when we arrived so I felt confident if i
yelled at him i would be iggy'd i was right except for my new friend
and keep in mind this lady has now followed us into the Arbys where
she proceeded to hand my son a dollar and a note that said,"I know
you mom is trying to be a good mom but she just doesnt know how!" I
took the dollar and the note and took them to her table and i said
look if youre going to give him money to run away youre going to have
give him more than that. He needs new shoes he demands Nike and he
needs a new duffle bag his Ralph Lauren is looking pretty ragged. Hes
also going to need to compensate me for the$1800 bux i just put out
for sports association dues,cleats, shimmel,shorts, pads,helmet, special
sox, season tickets to the high school games and gas, light, rent and
other various bills. So Lady whatever you give him he has to split
with me before he leaves and 50 ******* cents isnt going to cut it.
How about I let youhave him for the bargain basement price of 2
thousand bux and hes yours and out the door. She was so humiliated
and I said you crazy lunatic following me from the H.E.B. Stay out of
my business or im going to call the cops on you this time. I yelled
what kind of predator are you? Do not ever stalk a mother and her
kids nor do you go up to kids and give them money thats just strange.
At this point a dad from another table came to my hubby and said do
y'all need help? The lady was mortified she left her food onthe table
and left without incident. thats another thing thats wrong with
society today!BUTTINSKYS people with no children who hear half a
conversation and automatically assume that they have a right to call
the cops for any little thing. It was a bad day for my 15 year old
and me. One bad day out of a zillion good days.The one day my kid
decided to rebel and be a regular freakin loud mouth teen ager this
lady jumped up in my business. People wont let you dicipline yor kids
anymore. Its all child abuse now. Columbine would be a non issue
right now if thoes parents had instilled theproper values in their
homes. You slam the door i take it off the hinges. you haveno door i
see guns and grenades and bullets and pot and i kick your sorry
little butt and get you thereapy & a brief stay at the "Over the top
hotel" Get involved.be in their faces. let them know there are
boundries and things they cant say and things they cant do and omg i
could go on and on.

Person2
Dearest Kiz, My 15 yeard has been hanging at his friends houses alot
lately and one of his freinds and my son were standing in front of Mr
Warren (his friends dad) and the boy just walked away from his father
mid sentence. and nathan was like ."Come on Ben!" and Ben was
like,"No man your dads still talking." Mr Warren said thats ok Ben
you go on and have a good time. Ben asked Nathan, "why did you do
that to your dad man thats so not cool?" he said very flip, "I got
sick of hearing him talk." Ben said he didnt know what to say. He
went over to another friends house last Friday and He kept calling
his friends dad Mr. Squires. He said call me Marty. Ben said, "No
sir. With all due respect that makes me uncomfortable. " The man was
shocked. He said that the rest of Calebs friends call him Marty with
no hesitation and thank you very much. Mr. Squires called me later
to say he wasnt used to such old timey ways anymore and that his wife
was in shock to everything being being either yes or yes mam instead
of just yeah and uh huh. All the parents are also shocked that Tom &
I get out of the car and shake hands and personally say hello to
every parent where we leave our child.Because we want to know where
and whith whom we are leaving our child.We also ask if there are any
guns in the house and ask if they will be staying while the kids
are "at play". Last Friday Ben used his own money and showed up with
his own 12 pack of Coke to Nathans becuase the Warrens said only 2
Cokes per night drink water after that. They were shocked that Ben
showed up with treats to share and soda so they could have 6 a piece
and the 2 allowed by the Warens over the course of the "PS2 ALL
NITER." Mrs Warren asked, "Ben why did you do this?" He said "Icome
over here all the time & eat your pizza and stuff and I wanted there
to be enough." She looked puzzled and I thought she was going to get
mad.She said,such manners ohgoodness!" I remember if had walked away
from my mom mid sentence whether we were joking or i was being
scolded my teeth wouldve been on another state. I would have never
dreamed of calling an adult by his/her first name!!! NEVER!!!! I know
my kids friends parents now and they are considerably older than me
& I allow them to call me by my first name I still call then by Mr.
or Mrs. Things are so out of control now Kiz its unbelieveable. PS
All Bens friends callme Mrs. Kelley or affectionately my personal
favorite "Mrs. K"

Person 3
ACK! EEK! am overcome with snarky remarks foaming at my mouth,
screeching to escape! am going to try really hard not to be a queen
bee itch with my cautic sure to follow! if you don't want to read any
further, i do understand, this is you warning now! stop reading, you
may be insulted by my response!
right, firstly, the woman that called the cops on anne. good for
her. i am overcome with respect. how was she to know that you were
not actually abusive to your children?!? given the fact that so many
children that are actually abused, NO ONE STEPS IN TO BE A
BUTTINSKY!!! ! GGRRRRRRRRRR it's wonderful that your children have
respect, but geez! *biting tongue* i called people either mr and mrs
so-and-so or mom and dad! if it's ok with the parent, it's ok!!!
roar roar roar sunny, my dearest, it's not an american thing!
generalization! !! unfortunately a significant amount of parents
leave the parenting to others, be it school, daycare, tv...then have
the audacity to be upset when the "others" don't parent their
children the way they want. far too many people don't show their own
children respect, so how can the child know respect, or how to give
it?!? my 3 y/o knows to say please and thank you and bless you(if
someone sneezes) and "scuze me" if he burps. i have heard some
parents tell me he is too young to be making him say these things.
NO SUCH THING it's starts at the beginning. far too many people do
not want to follow in their parents footsteps in childrearing, but
haven't a clue as how to properly parent their child. i'm sorry,
instinct isn't enough sometimes! some of the yahoo's don't have the
parenting instinct of a shark!(fyi some sharks eat their own young)
we have no idea how the parents of the child killers at columbine
were attempting to raise their children! there have been bad parents
and alcoholics/druggies for ages on end! the fact that the village
doesn't help raise the child anymore is a major factor. "mind your
own business" PFFT! if the child is being an absolute terror, it is
your business! for Almighty Christ's sake! they are all His children,
which in a way makes them all yours! ROAR ROAR ROAR GGRRRRRRRR
monkey see monkey do will always be a factor. don't like the friend
you kid keeps, encourage he ask another friend over! or just more
than one! hopefully the manners and such you have instilled will help
him/her realize what the other child is doing wrong!
i think i broke my soapbox from stomping my feet.
the fact that you can be jailed and or have your children taken away
if you strike them, is an extremely scary thing. and telling your
child you brought them in you can take them out, in my opinion is
just wrong! i am sure i will get reprisal for my comments here. i
expect it. i just couldn't read anymore without responding!
sometimes you have to be a parent to kids that aren't yours, even if
you don't have kids of your own! sometimes the little snots are
walking all over their parents because their parents don't know how
to stand up to them! supernanny comes to mind, young children running
amuck! why? because the parent(s) don't know what to do! they cave
in because they are tired of arguing and just want peace and quiet
anyway they can find it. i may not agree, but i can see why they
would do it. i have babysat some horrible children who walk all over
their parents, but didn't dare do so to me. i was told, you have
full parenting rights as she was watching my child and i said the
same thing. i did spank their bratty little heineys for sass
mouthing me. mommy may allow it, but miss kat doesn't!
i'm losing hair over this, pulling yanking, trying to recall all the
things i was thinking reading the others things that were writen.
*sigh* ok, i hand over what's left of my soapbox to who ever is
next. maul me if you must.
veni~kat

This question seems a very hot topic, and as a teenager I think it great to see that people have an opinion. I say get involved and dont be afraid to speak out when someone is rude and obnoxious. Dont turn away from it. Just say hey so and so did your mom or dad not teach you how to behave.