My father is workaholic and seldom at home. He never, ever takes an active interest in my life. At home he just watches TV or sits behind a newspaper. Never showed his care, love or concern for my life! I feel so frustrated and angry at having this kind of father. I'm already 20 and I still don't know him very well as a person. He never affirms or pats me on the head for anything good I've achieved. I'm so angry he's always punishing me for my mistakes. I hate him.
2007-08-31 22:51:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Stan, he isn't going to change, so you have to do so. One other poster already mentioned that you have to get other substitute father figures. That's a good start. Then you have to gain male friends (mainly around your own age) who will validate you.
Good luck to you.
2007-09-01 02:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people are incapable of *giving* Is he a selfish person?. Do you think that your mom has the same kind of feelings that you have? You do not need his approval to know that you are a good person. You have to realize that there are people like this and move on. I know how you feel. Mine was like that too. Always angry about something and I never did anything right. I am 53 now and it still affects me somewhat. I got over being hurt about it a long time ago but we are not close. He had a stroke a few yrs back and it changed his whole attitude. He is more mellow and laughs more than I ever saw in all the yrs before.
Another thing to think about is ..does he have to work all the time to make ends meet? This can take its toll on a person.
2007-09-01 00:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
*hugs
As long as you don't think anything is wrong with you for him to be this way, good.
I have a similar situation going on with me currently, so I understand how you feel. Though I don't hate the person. I find it unfair.
Have you ever confront your father? Talk to somebody about it? You should try.
If he shuts you down, then is it worth the trouble to grieve over him?
I understand your father though, he doesnt hate you, he just, i think he's unconfortable about things. not neccessarily about being your father, but within himself.
As long as you have support from others and know that thre are people in your life that do see the good in you. Don't let your not really exsistent relationship with your dad hold you down.
Yea I know, its frustrating and it hurts.
And you know, you should stand up to him maybe and tell him he shouldnt push you around like that. Everyone makes mistakes....
But that brings me to again his problems with himself, he may just not want you to make the same mistakes he made, or not make so many or none at all mistakes so you'd be better off than him...I mean I don't know, I'm just guessing how he may be thinking.
Love your dad. I'm sure he loves you back.
Be strong/careful.
Si-Lynn
2007-08-31 23:07:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will could make peace with the actuality you have an emotionally distant father. He worked and provided the basics, a roof over your head and garments on your back and disciplined you once you mandatory it. yet despite the fact that in case you care to confess it or no longer, he cared approximately you or he does no longer have carried out any of that. some people have distinct ordinary tactics to teach their love. you're offended at him and needed somebody to hold you and you probably did no longer get that form of guy for a father. i think of you have a remarkable style of anger and would artwork with a qualified therapist. understand you won't be able to alter the previous or the guy yet you may replace the way you sense approximately your self and be taught to administration. be taught from this so once you have youngsters, you mustn't be a similar way. there are a number of beneficial techniques you may take this. Please get expert help.
2016-12-31 08:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a father it hurts my deep in my heart to read your story.
Let me say this you sound like you`ve been cheated and you
have. But your father has probably made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. The saddest part is he doesn`t even realize it. Nothing he has earned Nothing could replace a good relationship with his kid. He will die one day . His automobiles will be in a scrapyard. His home will belong to someone else. His money will be worthless to him. Instead
of having a legacy of being a loving father he will have nothing. As a father I cannot begin to describe to you the
treasure you father has thrown away.
If you ever have the chance to be there for the kid who can`t
get his locker open in JR high. Pass the football ,fix the bikes
and cheer the little things. So someday when someone remembers you they smile
2007-08-31 23:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by Henry J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey kid, you know he is busy. He works all day. For all the problems he has brought, you should appreciate he is still there and you have a good home. Think of the millions of children the world over that is drifting in the streets, without a home or with no one to turn to.
Perhaps you should speak to your mom about it. Ask her to tell him to spend more time on his family.
You should also start to establish yourself in the working world. You should not try to depend on your parents anymore.
2007-08-31 23:10:12 · answer #6 · answered by Forward 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well jeepers jenny you are an adult also ......
Is there a car show, festival, bow and arrow league, bowling alley, etc in your area? Grab that newspaper when he's not reading it and look up the local events calendar. That should note what's happening around town - you invite him. If not U can also invite friends and/or other relatives.
2007-09-01 02:24:01 · answer #7 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Atleast he is still there. My selfish father hates me and doesn't mind telling me and others. I feel sorry for him. I can't hate him, he is not worth going to hell over. I have his only 2 grandchildren and he has never met my 6 yr old.
2007-08-31 23:13:28 · answer #8 · answered by veronicawilliams1969 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone, their are a great deal of individuals who have grown up with one or two parents who are emotionally absent. Seek out some counseling for yourself and a trained counselor is much equipped to assist you in dealing with your valid feelings. Good luck and God bless****
2007-09-01 01:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you find out how to cope let me know... your dad sounds a lot like mine. except mine doesn't even care enough to punish me.
2007-09-01 00:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by Milis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋