Living on Military Base - weird neighbors?

Question

We live on a military base in a HUGE three bedroom townhome. We have liked living here thus far for the past five months. As you know military people are generally very friendly but some have a tendency to not know when to go home, sit around outside all day and watch each and every movement of other neighbors (me being one)... Not only do they gossip and talk behind everyone's back -whilst still being BEST buddies, they mooch off others, drink too much, and use foul language in front of the kids. They also frequently call the military police on one another and I hate that!

Anyhow, just as an example the other day I took my daughter for a walk to the park (it was a park that is near two units down from us (each unit has its own park). SO I took her to another one IMAGINE??? My neighbor yelled my name way across the grounds several times. It was really a bit embarrassing to me. I just waved. Later as we headed back to our unit, she says 'What's wrong with OUR playground???' ? cont

Another example is that two neighbors got into a fuss and I was criticized by the other for 'talking to the enemy'. So immature!

I had a baby boy when we first moved here. My husband has brown skin and I am white. Our son inherited my fairness and someone told me that they were going to have a talk to my husband to inform him that the child may not be his! It is so Jerry Springer!

Both of our children are babies (18 mos and 4 mos) so they obviously aren't old enough to play outside much. One of the neighbors said that I don't take them outside because I don't want for them to get dirty. They just make up stories and it bugs me.

My husband was thinking of moving off base and we told everyone. Then we changed our minds and now some of the neighbors act weird and less friendly. Its like some kind of cult?? Anyone understand this at all or can relate?

I have never lived on a military base before and had no idea it was this way!

Answer 1

I am a military wife of 17 years - I live off base almost every time, not sure where you are living, but in the U.S. it is better for a young family like you to live on base for financial reasons. If you were working it might be feasible.

The reasons you listed are exactly the reasons why we don't live on the base. The best thing to do is always be cordial to people around you - never snotty. Don't give out any personal information (this also goes for people that don't live by you). You never know who will come in contact with you husbands superiors and its best for them not to know your personal business - trust me.

Never talk about you husband's job. My husband and I don't talk to anyone about personal things - if my husband needs to vent about work - its to me only and I don't tell anyone - ever. Also limit the time you spend with them.

When you are with friends you can talk about general things and nothing that could bite you in the butt later.

As for the wierdness - just be kind and do what you need to do - they are your children, its your family and when your nice...what can they say.

Answer 2

yes i too live in military housing and its crazy how much drama happens between wives. I've lived in this house for almost 3 years now and when i first moved in since i picked my neighbors to be my friends i was automatically thrown in as an " enemy" from the people they were bickering with. You'd think we could all be grown-ups and get along since most of us are usually always in the same boat. I've made good friends here for sure but there are many that i've counted down the days til they moved away! In this housing its like this side of the street vrs the other side. Its really weird. I feel your pain and this has sure cured me of military housing. I will try my hardest to live off base when we move in a few months in my own home where i can set my own rules lol

Answer 3

Here's the thing: you can find people like that whenever you live someplace crowded. I had worse neighbors in my civilian apartment complex than I have here on base. That doesn't mean that the next people to take the empty unit across from me might not be even worse. But they might be my best friends. Who knows?

Most of the people who count know who the troublesome neighbors are. They know their love of gossip and also know how to ignore it. People like that usually end up associating with each other because eventually no one else in the neighborhood will put up with their antics.

Just because you live next to someone doesn't mean you have to be any more than polite to them. Find the good neighbors, either near you or in the block over. Then stick with them and don't worry about what the other people are doing.

Answer 4

You have 3 choices....1 ignore them , 2 move , 3 stop telling them about your private life...I have lived in Army housing for 14 years so far (and my hubby just reenlisted so i have at least 6 more years) and other then the few rude neighbors here and there, I never had a problem...But I dont become buddy buddy with my neighbors...I dont know their names or anything about them, I just say hello and keep to my own. I have friends, just not my neighbors. Unless you are doing something, why let it bother you?

Answer 5

They are plain harmless blokes and don't mean a thing,this or that way.If you really want to enjoy your stay ,don't agree or disagree with anybody,laugh a lot ,say nothing with any firm indication,be vague and praise them,their kids,dogs and whatever.Keep a balance by interacting with all the groups.I hope you got a hang now.Let me tell you one thing that you wouldn't find more simpler people else where.Have spent a life time in such environment and enjoyed thoroughly.

Answer 6

You should probably look into moving off-base, or possibly asking the housing office if you could move into another unit in another part of the base...

Answer 7

Nothings perfect. Thats the price for living in such a close environment.

Answer 8

This is the reason why i didn't try to make friends with any of my neighbors. I kept to myself and only associated with Marines my husband worked with and Marines that i had worked with previously. I couldn't stand 99.9% of Military wives I met and thier gossipy, clingy , stupid crap. Alot of them under the age of 21 and moronic.
Cut yourself off from associating with your nieghbors. They may think it rude but so what. Screw those stupid woman. Kep to yourself however hard it may be. Dont be afriad to tell them how you feel. If push comes to shove and you truly feel you need to move, go for it!!!!
Move off base girl. Its your sanity at risk and you dont need this b u l l s h i t

Answer 9

Move...how can you ever be happy in an environment like that? They sound awful! It will only get worse when the kids are bigger..they'll be coming round to say how "your kid did this and upset mine"
Just leave.

Answer 10

Got a answer to your problem move off base and buy your own house. Welcome to living in base housing so quit your whining come you be able to figure out that most people in base housing really have nothing better to do than be quite annoying. I lived in base housing for 5yrs and when I had the opportunity to get out in the real world and have uncle SAM pay my house note I jumped.