them as I want to. It is hard for me to know how to interact with them and bond with them right. I stay at home with them and am very protective of them. I just don't understand why I can't feel more emotionally intuned with them. I am also always worried that I am not a good enough mom and that I will make them feel hurt some how. I did have a hard relationship with my mother growing up but I need help I want to be diffrent than my mom and close to my children. Please any advice.
2007-08-31 19:11:28 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
It sounds to me like you are suffering from depression. You are not alone with these feelings, I have suffered through similar feelings. Talk to someone, your husband (if you are married), a therapist, a close friend. Also try to take vitamins, a good multi-vitamin, either fish oil or flaxseed oil (something that contains omega 3 and 6 fatty acids), exercise, and make sure you are getting time for yourself as well. And I mean time where you are truly taking time away from all of your stresses. Sometimes I will just leave my son with his father and go read at the bookstore. It takes my mind away from all the stresses. Do something you enjoy. If none of that seems to work, maybe you could try anti-depressants.
2007-08-31 19:24:47 · answer #1 · answered by siennaraine 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some people do have the problem you speak of.
Do you ever go to the park and watch how the other children interact with their mothers? Notice how they respond to their child when he falls and gets hurt. Are you able to feel and respond the way she does???
When I was a young mother, I had similar problems, so I would observe the other mothers, and would purpose to emulate their behavior, even though I did not feel the empathy or attachment.
Look at your life - do you / or did you have a highly stressful relationship, possibly abusive? This kind of thing can cause the detatchment you speak of.
Suggestion, simply lie on the floor and let the kids climb all over you. Respond with tickles and just have fun. Then, as you all cuddle up together, read them each a story or two, unhurried. This will build attachment for them, even if you do lack the feeling. Reciting poetry and singing kids songs together is another bonding activity. So is kneading and baking bread, or making cookies together. The more you can laugh together, the more connected they will be to you when they feel like crying.
I know it's tough to act as though you have feelings when you don't. I found help......my depression was treated with medication, my wacky hormones were treated, and I spent time each week with a counselor, addressing my own past hurts as well as my parenting. It has really and truly helped.
Today I still don't feel everything most other people do, but I'm feeling more than I did before being treated.
You can Do it too, there is hope.
2007-08-31 19:44:48 · answer #2 · answered by Hope 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think it is wonderful that you want to be closer to your children. I think its possible that your trouble may be a result of a strained relationship with your own mother. Have you considered counseling? It might really make a big difference, and might help keep things in perspective.
Also...this is just a thought of my own...do you get any alone time? You seem like a very devoted mother, but everyone needs some time on their own to kind of recharge. You won't have anything to offer your kids if you're drained of energy all the time! Maybe consider scheduling a babysitter one night and going out with your friends or husband? Maybe some time with other adults will make your time with the kids more valuable:-)
Good luck, you sound like an awesome mom to me!
2007-08-31 19:21:54 · answer #3 · answered by kari 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what to say but praying for you. I would definitely get out and seek some help or advice from a doctor, pastor or counselor, even if it is just one good session where you can be reassured you are on the right track or get advice on how you could proceed. Two heads are always better than one.
2007-08-31 19:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by Makemeaspark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jsut follow your instincts and do what your heart tells you, give them the best and most of all your love.
that's enough, you don't have to buy them the world to feel assured.
love is most important, if your kids feel loved they will definately have a good relationship with you.
when kids don't feel loved that's where the problem is.
as for you, i can already tell you are a good mother as on seeing how worried you are. be confident and just do what i said things will work out just fine
2007-08-31 19:35:57 · answer #5 · answered by baby gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a mum of a 2 and 4 year old but I get a break when I go to work. It's tough being a stay at home mum. Are you doing anything special for yourself, like pedicures etc? Do you get any YOU time?
2007-08-31 19:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by tolsteroid 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your concern shows you are prob.a better mom then you give yourself credit for,tell them you love them everyday,hugs too.if theres someone who you admire as a mother figure,talk to them.spend quality with them,making happy memories.laughing is mandatory.so is playing,theres also many support groups for young moms online,you could join one.as they get a little older you will prob.get closer to them,i mean a 3 and 4 y/o can't really be where we are emotionally.
2007-08-31 19:25:40 · answer #7 · answered by susan e 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pugs have lots of scientific complications and that they under no circumstances stop. they only save getting worse. I had to place my pug to sleep approximately 5 years in the past and she or he too grew to become into 9yrs previous. She began off with slipped disks in her returned, then slightly bump on her leg that grew to become into examined dissimilar situations and got here returned with not something, then the final time it grew to become into examined it grew to become into maximum cancers. We tried to hold directly to her as long as shall we yet in her suitable interest, we placed her down. She finally could not walk, consume, or do something by herself. that's good to enable them to circulate and remember the best situations and not cause them to go through anymore. that's going to be very frightening, I cried for months yet i understand she is in a extra constructive place and not suffering anymore. circulate to the vet and characteristic them attempt the bump. And dont circulate by what the 1st vet tells you, get 2nd critiques.
2016-12-16 08:20:43 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you're worrying about it this much, it must mean that you love your children very much.
and about not emotionally in tune with them or something, dont worry about it. they're 3 and 4!!! you sound like a good mom. dont worry about it..
2007-08-31 19:21:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best advise here would be to speak to a professional. It is far to complicated and important for anyone on this board to give you any advise. You don't mention your age. However, even that is irrelevant. But please do not take anything you read on the internet as a proper answer to any big questions like this as you cannot confirm its source.
Please, please, please though do not listen to anyone trying to preach to you.
All you are likely to get are answers like 'seek help from God and he will save you' or 'just know that god loves them that should be enough'. These are not proper answers and in fact
do more harm than good
2007-08-31 19:34:04 · answer #10 · answered by Tony 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋