How can I correct my six year old's behavior at school?

Question

My son started first grade this year. He has been in school one week. I have already had two "behavior problem" notes sent home to me... For talking, clowning, not following directions, and the most recent thing: saying a "cuss" word h*ll.... :/

We had a few problems in kindergarten because he's such a happy, goofy boy. I know he's just being a kid, and I think it's wonderful that he's so happy, but I'm REALLY having a hard time nipping this one in the bud...

I don't really know how to deal with notes. I mean, the moment has passed since he got in trouble at school, so I almost feel weird about punishing him...

Also, what should I do to enforce behavior changes? I mean, I can take away his TV and video games, but he doesn't really seem to mind that too much. He just finds something else to do...

I'm just frustrated. I want him to succeed. He's SO smart and he's doing acceptionally well with the school work. He's just got behavior problems. Thanks for any advice.:)

I have no problem implementing

D-I-S-C-I-P-L-N-E

as someone put it.... no problem at all... but that's exactly why I asked this question!!! I don't know how to discipline him! It's hard for me to know how to deal with incidents that happened hours before!

And believe it or not, my son is already in Karate... and it's been pretty great, but at the same time, I don't have trouble with him at home. It's just a school thing.

Maybe he is bored (the teacher actually mentioned that to me...) but that is no excuse. I just wish I had a magic wand I could wave that would give me the answers I need....

Parenting is the hardest thing I have EVER EVER had to do....

Answer 1

The first week is typically one where they are all getting caught up, etc. But I would nip it quick this year. What worked for me was having them write sentences (I only had to do this a few times with both boys) for stuff like talking. The cuss word would get a privilege removed along with sentences. We also redid any work that was done incorrectly for not following directions at home and sent the next day. When we did sentences (and this was in first grade with both boys lol) it was six only, one per year old. I also had then return it to the teacher.

Don't feel weird because you were not there. This age they know what they did wrong and they remember it. If you don't work outside of the home, could you possibly volunteer at the school a couple of days a week? Sometimes knowing you are there will help. Or just showing up to eat lunch.

He sounds like a good kid, but this is the age to learn when things are appropriate and when they are not. And if he is bored, see if the teacher will let him go play on the computer or go to a reading station when he's done with his work.

Answer 2

When you get a note home form school ( no matter the grade level ) you should arrange a personal meeting with the teacher.
Face to face is always better than notes or phone calls.
Discuss exactly what the problem is and then come to a mutual agreement of how its to be handled.
Never let a problem linger on for every-ones sake. You will then have a much better idea, how to enforce behaviour changes at home.
Keep in mind some child are natural talkers and find it very difficult not to talk out of turn. This is where good class room teaching practises come in. Some teachers find this hard to implement in the class room . This is not to say the teacher is not dedicated and doesn't do his/her job well. The easy way out is to write notes to parents, in hope that they can find the answer.
If he is very bright and bored, then an enrichment program is in order for him. Most schools have this or will make the
suggestion of advancing him one grade level.
It is always great to see a happy child in the class room. These are the children, that find learning fun and easy.
He needs to be talked to by his teacher and yourself together and you both need to try and work to together as a team, on this behaviour.
Cussing is never allowed and he needs to get the message it is not.
As far a punishment for what has already happened, I would forget that. However, after your meeting with his teacher, then in the future, you can implement grounding, removing toys, etc., or what ever you agreed on.
He is happy and needs to stay that way.
Good luck to you and your son.
( Connie Mom of 4 and 5th. grade teacher

Answer 3

If the teacher thinks he's bored she should be working on an enrichment plan for him. Set up a meeting to discuss whats being done to really keep him interested. As with any behavior problem, find his currency. If it's not video games or TV it will be something else (maybe Karate). Explain to him that if he gets in trouble at school, the fun activity stops at home. Let him know he can earn it back by not getting in trouble. Boys can be a little harder to wrangle at this age but should be showing a little more self discipline. Just work closely with the teacher and you can both come up with a plan that works. Good luck :)

Answer 4

Maybe you can start by using some kind of points (or star) for prizes reward system on a whiteboard or some poster. Then you can give him a point when he does something nice or good (like put away all of his toys when he is done playing with them) and take away a point every time he does something that he isnt supposed to do (like not following directions in school) When he as accumulated a certain amount of points, give him a prize or allow him to not exchange them right now and save up for a bigger prize. Just dont be too generous on the points (like 3 points gets you a small prize or something) or anything or else this might not work.

If this doesnt really work, then you might have to start doing time outs and spankings. Just dont spank him for the smallest things and only use this if time outs dont work. Also, you can try and say that your going to spank him (cuz he hit you or something for example) and if he doesnt bite, follow up your words with action.

Try positive reinforcements first and if that doesnt work, go to punishment. I also suggest having a chat with the teacher and talk to your son about his behavior at school cuz i think talking helps too.

Answer 5

Before I look at just discipline for my 1st grader I would look at his day at school too. Is there enough time for him to get energy out? Snack times? Breaks between different projects?

I think because teachers have so much to focus on they forget these little people are just that..... little people.

My daughter had this same problem through first and then second grade. She entered 3rd this year. We resolved 95% of her issues by allowing her to take a mini break in between when she was acting up. These mini breaks were as small as walking 20 feet down the hall to get a sip of water to doing a small job that was aside from her regular work.

We also got the teacher to implement a 3rd break in the afternoon to allow her and the class a small snack. Which all the children bennfited from.

Sometimes all they need is a break from the constant focus that schools want... even from our little people.

As far as the cuss word... that is something that should be worked on from home and school. He could have picked it up anywhere. I would warn him that its not good and come up with a plan as to what happens if he cusses again.

Answer 6

Since it happened so long ago already, just sit down and have a serious talk about it, and tell him why it is so important that he behaves in school.
(Even though most first grade letters home aren't really bad problems, but still) ;)
Get a box of treats (possibly a clear one that he can see what is inside) and everytime he comes home with a good note from the teacher, he gets one treat out of the box.

If you think he is bored in class, maybe ask the school if there is a class for children who work on a higher level, or are ahead of the rest of the kids.

It sounds to me like he's bored=)

& I'm sure he's not the only one. I bet half of the class has trouble "not following directions." It's tough following all of the rules at age six=)

Answer 7

My nephew is 6 and he just started school and hes already having problems too. He likes to live out his video games and he does a lot of playing around. Sometimes school systems are not the best for kids because we all know kids have to have their mind stimulated or they will find something to do and more than likely it wont be good. I take away tv, video games, toys and have the "talks," i do time outs where he faces the wall, and i give spankings, i dont know how u feel about that but the mother is the law in the house and youve gotta lay it down.

Answer 8

Explain to him if he acts up in school he will be punished at home as well. When he gets a note from school,take privileges away for a week starting that day. No video games. No television.Early bed time. I know you said it doesn't bother him. But don't allow any fun.He has to do his homework right after school. After homework is done give him a chores to do(nothing to hard or strenuous. Like have help you clean the bathroom.Have him dust. Keep him to busy for anything fun.Aslo tell him using bad word is not acceptable and if he keps using them he will contuine to loose privlages.make him write line slike I will not se bad words.Since he is so young I would say no more than 25 lines to start.

Answer 9

Yeah been there done that LOL..Okay well I would first ask how long has the teacher been teaching first grade? My son did first grade last year with a first year teacher and she handed out the warning like candy. He is a good kid that only received one warning for talking out of line in kindergarten so needless to say I too was shocked.

I'm not a big fan of correcting him for something that the school has already handled with exception to him being disprespectful to another student/adult in anyway shape or form..that being said your son hasn't done that..

So if it was me..Well I think what I would do instead is call the teacher and ask what he/she did about it..then I would talk it over with my son and explain to him the reason that the rules are in place. I don't see how punishing him will help..I did that in the beginning of last year and it made it so that my son would come home in tears for fear of losing tv/video game priveliges for something as stupid as talking out of line..

Answer 10

It could be a way of him seeking attention from someone other than a parent. Kids do that, especially in a school setting where there are several kids who misbehave and seem to take up the teaher's time. They see the 'bad' kids getting extra attention and act out for the same reason. Maybe he needs less outside activities and more mom time. Sometimes we forget those little things matter to our kids. Tell her to drop one activity and find something that they can do together instead.