I love him and want him to move in and we have discussed this. My 7 year old trys to hug him and he sort of shrugs him off. Last night we discussed this in more detail and he said that he thinks my son would be a bad influence on his 2 year old daughter that he treats like a newborn , not a toddler. He says he has seen My son act up and is afraid that this will cause problems with his daughter, understand that he only gets his daughter every other Sunday from 12-6. But mostly I feel like he just doesnt like my son.
He has done some very nice things for us all and I have an 18 year old that notices the " neglect" of my youngest also so it is not just me. I sent the boyfriend an email tonight and told him that if he couldn't make an effort to be more outgoing with my youngest, then why even try living together. Another thing is he recently bought me a nice car and spent his savings on it and pretty much needs to move in soon... How do I handle this ? please honest answers.
2007-08-31 17:57:03 · 20 answers · asked by Anji 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i think that if he cant accept your son then you have no future. bf's will come and go but your children are forever. If he cant accept a part of you then how can he say he loves and wants to be with you? and if he doesnt like your son now, the situation is only going to get worse when he's around him more. and who cares if he bought you a new car? whats more important your son or the car? cars can be replaced. i think you should take time out and re-evaluate the relationship and just how much it means to you.
2007-08-31 18:08:00 · answer #1 · answered by made it to the top 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you have no business accepting a car from this person. Return it immediately. He can sell it and get the money he needs.
Are you so desperate for a warm body in your bed that you would let someone treat your child like that?! NO. This is NOT NEGOTIABLE. Your child should be loved by this person or it isn't right!
What is the matter with you? Are you a whore? Why do you accept expensive gifts from a man and have him move in? You need to end this NOW. This is not the right relationship for you and your children, no matter how much you want to try and make it be that way. And buy your own car. Stand on your own two feet. You have no business accepting that kind of a gift - it obligates you and you know it. Do NOT have that man move into your place. You could have to get the sheriff involved and spend hundreds of dollars to get him out.
This isn't right and you know it, or you wouldn't be here asking your question. Your child is defenseless. Stop listening to your hormones and do the right and responsible thing. And in the future, only little gifts such as flowers, candy, a book, a CD. Nothing expensive or huge.
2007-09-01 04:33:33 · answer #2 · answered by D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love Is A Great Thing But When It Comes To Your Man And Your Children I Mean Obviously Who You Gonna Pick But A Way To Work It Out Is Just Get Them To Spend A Little Time Together Warm Up To Each Other And If That Doesnt Work You Got A Choice To Make And The Choice Is Self Explantory
2007-09-01 01:53:29 · answer #3 · answered by curious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He seems to have missed so much of his own daughter's development that his own perception is frozen in time.
It would be nice if you two could find a "play group" to let the kids loose in while the adults all socialize. It might open his eyes.
Another possibility would be for you, the BF and the son to go fishing, or some other calm but manly past-time. The idea would be to get him into the idea that this could be his son... and 7 years old is just at the time where they start being really fun.
If you cannot bring him around, I don't suggest letting him move in with you. If he can't get past his baggage and be "in the now", you really should consider just keeping this one as a "friend" and continue to look at other guys.
There are "playgroups" for single parents, you know.
2007-09-01 01:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your first duty is to your child. He should not be made to feel like
a leper in his own home. I'll assume that the daughter is his only child so he really has no clue that your son is a typical little boy. You have to do some soul searching..... ask yourself if the relationship is worth the emotional damage that your son would be exposed to? Can you stand watching your boyfriend treat his kid like baby? ( that would personally annoy me) If he is willing to make the effort that he needs to make living together a viable option then give it a try......sometimes people change for the better.
2007-09-01 01:49:26 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you and your son are a package deal.
you sound like you got a good head on your shoulders so trust your gut. I think you already know it isn't going to work so I would give back the car and focus on having a relationship with someone who will love all of you and not just you. I am in a blended family and all the kids are loved, mine ,his and ours. I really don't know what to say about his kid without having more information but I do think you should take how he is under consideration and protect yourself and your kids. That is more important than a car or a man.
2007-09-01 01:30:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who is your main priority.....son or boyfriend? If you said boyfriend I'm done. If you said your son then you need to think of him. I was divorced with two small children. Luckily the man I met and married cared for them. If he hadn't I would have hit the road end of story. Children are really a lot smarter than some parents give them credit for. Your son can feel the dislike. Is that what you want? Your son to feel like crap just because you're with someone you care for? Move on. There are enough screwed up kids already in this world and I believe this is one of the problems. You will meet someone that cares for your entire family and you will care for his if he has one. I promise.
2007-09-01 01:11:52 · answer #7 · answered by Mary D 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
When e met you, he should have understood that you came with a package deal and he should have accepted the both of you. If he doesn't like your son, then you need to move on because it is only going to get worse. How would he feel if you treated his daughter the same way?? I bet he would change then.
2007-09-01 01:18:49 · answer #8 · answered by tantalizin1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb. He doesn't like your son and no child needs that crap in his life. You and your boy are a package deal. He bought you a car and spent his savings on it and now needs to move in. Well this shows that he is not financially responsible. Not exactly a quality I look for in a potential mate. Keep this piece of work awayfrom your son.
2007-09-01 01:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by og0925go 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't make any move out of the motive of gratefulness. It is not reason enough to tie up with a man who might make your son's life lonely and misunderstood and unhappy.
Perhaps you could find a way to give back something he spent on the car.
2007-09-01 01:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by kasandra k 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋