The age difference intimidates me...?

Question

I am digging this older man so much! He is old enough to be my dad literally! For some reason i really have a crush on him... just because of the things he says, and the way he says them.... it helps that he is established and has an excellent job( and i do mean excellent).

At first he was really into me... he even followed me to my car, just to get a glance at me as I left...lol )he was unaware that my friend saw the whole thing)...
He also likes to check me out a lot.... he likes to stare at me and wont look away when i catch him!!! Im just really unsure how he feels now because we have drifted apart and barely see each other anymore....

Should I just get it over with and say hi to him, and see what page he is on? I am tired of wondering... my friend seems to think that he is unaware of how I feel, and he is intimidated by MY age.... should I let him know that im ready to "hang out" with him????...lol
by the way im in my early 20s and I know NOTHING about older men.

Answer 1

Just go for it ,my wife & i there is 17 years be tween us and we been to gether now for 16 years married 14 would not change her for any other we got nothing in common just love each other and being with each other .
good luck.
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Answer 2

If he is that much older than you, I wouldn't. I was 6 years older than my last girlfriend and for some people even that is a lot. You have to think to the future. If things were to work out and you got married and had children right away, assuming he is in his late 40's now, he would be pushing 60 or more by the time they became teenagers. Younger parents have enough trouble relating to teenagers, but this man would be old enough to be their grandfather. My maternal grandfather was 30 years older than my grandmother and died while my mother was still in school, so I never knew him. Would you want your grandchildren to never know their grandfather like I never did? Also, women live longer than men, so if you did marry him, you would likely be a widow at a young age. If you think you can handle that kind of heartbreak, fine, but I don't think it is worth it. You also have your future finances to consider. You will need to check the laws in your country to see when widows qualify for benefits after their husbands pass on. If there is a certain age you have to be before you can start collecting a widow's pension, you may end up having to work longer than you expected to support yourself or find someone else to marry quickly if you can't work for some reason. Also, because your husband would have been an older man, whatever you would get would likely be less than what a younger man would have gotten because of the wage gap between generations. We all slow down as we get older, as well. You may like to dance the night away several nights a week, but an older man simply won't have the energy for that as time goes on. You will also be facing the possibility of an extended illness before he dies. Can you care for an old, sick person without feeling resentment or bitterness or that he is preventing you from enjoying your youth? I once dated a woman 11 years older and thankfully she was smart enough to see these things coming, so even though it hurt to end it, it was the sensible thing to do. It's a hard path to take if you get involved with someone a lot older than yourself.

Answer 3

did you take a look at that ring finger on his left hand????? If there is a band there---LEAVE HIM ALONE.... the first question I would find out is ---IS HE MARRIED? If not, then you are over 21 so whatever you want to do would be fine....but sweetie, if he is MARRIED, don't tempt him.... married men are trouble no matter WHAT age they are---and OLDER married men are the worst because they get into this "mid-life crises" thing and THINK a younger woman is just what they need----my dad went through it---MARRIED a woman 20 years his junior... it was a mess...

Answer 4

If he is single and you are single, I strongly suggest you make a move. Make sure he's single first, though because you don;t want to be the cause of breaking up a long-term relationship. I agree he's probably intimidated by your age, but I'm guessing he's probably married and looking for a fling. Don't go there.

Answer 5

Enjoy your life with your own age group. An older man will find it very difficult to hang out with young people.. He might become jealous and follow you around. He might even be married with children your age.

One thing is certain grown children very rarely accepts a young Step Mother.

Answer 6

get to know him...... the age gap CAN be beneficial to you. Providing he's not married, start something up with him. I can wholeheartedly recommend a relationship with an older man ( I had a fantastic 5 years with a man 22 years my senior)........ the sex was unbelievable! He was also educated, knowledgeable about most things, well-travelled, caring, and a real gentleman (opening doors, paying for everything, treating me very well)


good luck

Answer 7

He's intimidated by YOUR age. I know. My ex was 22 years my junior and I remember being worried that I may be called a perv if I asked her out. After we were together she asked what the hell I was being so slow about.

This guy is besotted with you. Help him out a bit. When you see him smile, ask where he's been. Say you missed him. He'll do the rest.

There's a lot to be said for an older bloke - well I would say that wouldn't I....but seriously this is one instance you may have to be bold. What ya got to lose.

Answer 8

Well . . . LOL . . . I will tell you something about older men.

I am 40. Never engaged or married . . . nor have I fathered any illegitimate kids. It's not because I am not willing or CAPABLE, it's because I have yet to be INSPIRED.

And, women in their early 20s are THE MOST AVAILABLE. That's a statistical FACT.

It's not that we would PREFER a much younger / inexperienced woman . . . or because we have some mental disorder . . . or because we are "perverts" . . . it's because women usually prefer to MAKE SURE that they are married (and/or mommies) by the time they are 30.

And I can tell you right now . . . that unless a man's is keen on raising another man's kids, he is going to be looking at the pool of the most AVAILABLE women.

Thankfully, the women don't usually mind, but they all-too-frequently have all sorts of UNNESCESSARY thoughts racing through their heads.

• "Is age a problem?"
• "Why me? and not someone closer to HIS age?"
• "What does he want?"
• "How should I take this?"
• "What should I do?"

. . . . take all of that and THROW IT AWAY. IGNORE IT. And don't give it a second thought.

Because he wants EXACTLY the same thing as a guy closer to your own age. . . . the only difference is . . . he KNOWS more than guys closer to your own age.

AND -->> HE CAN BETTER CLEARLY UNDERSTAND YOU.

This is often CONFUSING to younger women because they are just NOT USED TO IT. How she is used to dealing with younger men DOES NOT APPLY on older men. . . and women tend to feel unnecessarily "intimidated" by that. Quite simply -->> she can't get away with "playing the same games" because older men are MUCH BETTER PREPARED.

So if "playing games" is not for you (as so many women SAY they prefer - LOL) , then older, established men are gonna be more up your alley.


>> he is intimidated by MY age <<

CUTE TRY . . . . . BUT NOT. VERY. LIKELY. -- LOL!!!!

I bet your friend would certainly LOVE to think so . . . and secretly, you would too. ;) Younger attractive women LOVE to think that SOMETHING about them is "intimidating" to men (like her age, or her looks), but when it comes to older men . . . . .nothing could be farther from the truth.


>> should I let him know that im ready to "hang out" with him?? <<

You are going to have to be DIRECT and AN ADULT about it. The "games" you are used to playing with younger guys are TRANSPARENT to him (if he knows what he is doing).

• Say what you MEAN.
• Don't waste his TIME.
• Be Direct.
• Don't assume he is interested in being a mind-reader.
• MAKE SURE YOU ARE HAVING "FUN" -->> ALL THE TIME. Because "serious" relationships BLOW.

This is your chance to PROVE that women are - indeed - "more mature than men" - as they so often CLAIM. ;)

So , if that is TRUE, then an older man should be a piece of cake , wouldn't you say?

Cheers . . . and good luck out there.
(you can thank me for the education some other time)

;)

Answer 9

I think you should aproach him. A you stand, he is probably intimidated by age difference. Just try to know him better. From there you could be able to decide if you want to take things further.

Answer 10

it could be that he is intimidated by your age and sure that no young lady would be interested in him --- if you are still interested and he is unattached talk to him ---- you dont have to say anything about how you feel --- just talk and see what happens -- if may fizzle you may have a strong connection --- and if he is interested he will watch your body language and know that you are interested ---- best wishes (i am an older guy myself)