toddler can't make up her mind!?

Question

I have a daughter who will be 3 this November. Lately it seems like she can't make up her mind about anything. Here's a typical conversation: "Mommy, I want juice!" "Ok, here's some juice!" "No!" "You don't want juice?" "Want juice!" I hand it to her "No!" Then I give her a chance to either take it or not and then I won't give it to her again. I get so frustrated. Have you experienced this with your kids? Is it that they're trying out the word no, or they really have trouble deciding?

It's not just juice, it's everything!

Answer 1

"I want some "juicymilk" (drink)., Mommy"
"Okay do you want juice or milk"
"Juice!"
"Ok here you go"
"NO! I want milk...."

"I watch Einsteins, please"
"okay, but just one and then the tv is off, okay?"
"okay"
"Okay Einsteins is coming"
"NO! I watch Mouse Clubhouse!"

"What book do you want to read for bed"
"This one. No not this one. This one. I want to read this one. "
"Do you want mommy to read it or daddy?"
"MOMMY!"
(Read 2 pages)
"NO! Daddy read me the book!"

Yes....its frustrating but normal. I just try to put the choices in front of him and say I'l lcount to five and if you havent picked we're not going to ________ (read books, get a drink, etc.)

Answer 2

When my son was 3 and 4, he did a lot of this. I took to reminding him after every request that there could be no "Mind Changing" about this. Once I did my thing, I wasn't going to do something else. Think of this as verifying the order, the way the person at the drive-in fastfood place does.

Eventually, he moved on to asking for things and, once he got agreement, he'd push for more until I said, "No." Then he'd push doubly hard and have a fit to get whatever it was. the issue here was obviously not the item or privilege he wanted, it was exerting his will against mine. This is Oppositional-Defiant Disorder, and it takes some professional training for parents to handle--if you're not going to just beat the c**p out of a kid whose half your height and a quarter of your weight.

If the verification and reminder system aren't enough, don't wait to see someone. It made all the difference for that boy, now an honors engineering student. He volunteers for various good causes and has made four trips to clean up on the Gulf.

Answer 3

I agree with the first two answers=)
I have a Sunday School class of 10 two year olds, and see this all the time=)
Usually when they do that,
they either want attention, and want to drag out the conversation as long as possible..and if it leads to tears, hopefully being held. which usually i don't mind, since they're technically still babies=)

Other times they're just testing me to see how far they can push it.

or..finally..they just learned what the word "no" means, and like to use it as much as possible=)

I completely understand though, and know how frustrating it can be! She'll outgrow it pretty soon=)

Answer 4

Toddlers are trying out the word no! but if she doesn't drink the juice, it is not what she is asking for. Make notes for a few days of her likes and dislikes, favorite drinks and snacks and times she asks for them. You should see a pattern. Prepare her drink in the morning and put it in the fridge. Before the usual time she asks, sit the drink within reach and tell her, "your juice is sitting right here. when you're ready, you will be able to get it all by yourself." Go on with your activities and see if this works. Vary the drinks so she doesn't get tired of the same drink everyday.

Answer 5

Sounds really familiar - both my kids went through the same thing. It's a control issue. Your daughter is trying to make her own decisions but doesn't know how yet. This is her way of learning. I think the way you are handling it sounds fine. It's ok to let the child have a moment of indecision but you don't need to give in when she changes her mind 5 or 6 times. It's frustrating but I really think it is a normal part of growing up.

Answer 6

my son does that all the time. He is three, going to be four this December. It used to get so frustrating for me, but I suppose it is normal.

My son does it especially when he wants my attention...but it does get irritating when he says that he wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich...but waits until I have made the sandwich to tell me that he want's bologna and cheese....so i do know how frustrating it is for you.

It has gotten to a point where I have begun to recognize it as a sign of independence. It has wound down a lot since I have tought him to do certain things on his own...like making his own peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches....and pouring his own milk or juice....it makes him feel important and less picky:)

Good luck:)

Answer 7

she's probably just testing u 2 c how far she can get with you-if she ask 4 something then says she doesn't want just don't give her a chance 2 choose tell her she has 2 take what she ask 4

Answer 8

It's pretty typical for kids that age to not make up there mind. Most young children like playing games with you even if they seem like they are being serious, it's suprising how much they can actually trick you.


Hope this helps!!!!:)

Answer 9

When my 3 year-old does it, I just remind her that it's what she asked for and that it's too late to change her mind. At that point, she can either accept whatever it is, or just go without.

Answer 10

she is testing you try not to get angry.let her know when she says she wants something that is what she will get and that is it.she must learn that she is not the boss.it may be hard at first but you can do it. a good parent knows they must teach their child that they cannot boss them around and temper tantrums do not work spank them and send them to their room to think about their bad behavior.it is your job as a parent to not spoil your kids.good luck.