i have cancer and im scared?

Question

i just found out i have ca of the uterus and cervix, and im still shocked by the news. have to see a ca dr next week to see about surgery. i am so depressed about it, all i do is cry. my husband tries to be there for me but sometimes i dont think he understands what im feeling. sometimes i feel like he is a little distant and dont know why. we have always been very close. when i try to talk to him he changes the conversation, like he doesn't want to hear it. why?

ty all for your advice. when i told my husband he was so shocked. said he never thought i would have this. he tells me to be positive, which i try but its so hard.

i did have the biopsy and it is confirmed its ca.guys ty for your support as i feel sometimes so alone.

Answer 1

Don't be scared and everything will be OK. I think your husband is shocked about the bad news and don't know what to do. I had a 2 times cervical cancer and my doctor was at the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston/TX. My husband was not a good help for me either. If you got the bad news, did you visit another doctor and get a second opinion? I don't know what they told you and which treatment they want to do, but get always second opinion.
This happened to me by my second cancer, the first doctor told me some night mares stories, I was almost turning crazy, at the MD Anderson was everything totally different. So my 1. cancer was 1997 with surgery, 5 weeks radiation treatment and the second was 2000 another huge surgery. So now we have 2007 and I'm doing OK.
So why I tell you all that, today is with cancer more survivers and there is good treatments and good doctors.
I wish you good luck and if you need to talk or ask something you can contact me any time.

Answer 2

How you found out that you have Uterus and Cervix cancer. Did you have any Biopsy test made or confirmed by an oncologist ? Firstly you should understand clearly what disease you have. If any one is having Cancer of Uterus and Cervix it is a very serious thing and it should be in stage IV or so.

Do not worry about your husband. Probably he is very much shocked to know abut your ailment. He is also worried much as to how to treat you and what will be the outcome etc. When you know that he is very close to you, he is definitely thinking about you and does not want to talk to you much as you will be put to unnecessary further worries and confusions.

Now what you need to do urgently are -

1. Please see your oncologist and let him arrange for a Biopsy test and evaluate the stage, grade and exact position of your disease.

2.Depending on the position please arrange for necessary surgery, followed by Chemotherapy and Radiation therapy. All these 3 treatments are must and should be started one by one.

3. Take your husband in confidence and asking to make arrangements for needed finance, as these treatments will cost quite a large amount of money, if not covered by insurance.

4. Do not loose heart and have a positive thinking and attitude. Now the disease has come and there is no other alternative other than having the treatments and becoming alright by God's Grace.

5. You should develop realistic views, have courage, faith in God etc. and I suggest you to go through the website - http://www.cancersupportivecare.com/Yana/support.html which will give you strength to face the situation.

6. Please note that CANCER IS STILL AN ENIGMA and you have to face it and have all treatments to become alright.

Wish you all the best-

Answer 3

I'm so sorry.

When I was diagnosed I was a bit hurt by people close to me who didn't seem concerned or want to talk about it, or who reassured me I would be ok when of course they had no way of knowing that. It was almost a relief when I told a friend and she burst into tears.

But I know from experience that it can be as hard watching someone you love go through cancer diagnosis and treatment as it is going through it yourself - I've been in both situations.

I think that as people in general know very little about cancer they are frightened even by talking about it, and have no idea what to say to you, even when they love you and are frightened for you.

People will fall back on repeating things they believe they should say, like 'be positive'. Of course it's hard for you to be positive, you've got cancer! Stop trying. There is not one scrap of evidence that a positive outlook affects cancer outcome, and some evidence that trying to be postive makes some cancer patients more depressed as they just CAN'T be as positive as everyone is urging them to be.

You need to find out as much as possible about your cancer - Panda has given you some good websites. When you see the doctor next week don't go alone; be ready with all the questions you want to ask - write them down and have your husband or whoever is going with you write down the answers.

Good luck

Answer 4

The first thing you should know is that you are not alone and that cancer is not a death sentence. You need to find out what stage your cancer is in. You need to find out as much information you can about your type of cancer and what is available for treatments. Your husband may also feel paralazed by what is happening to you and unable to react. You need to find someone . . a close relative or friend . .or possibly your husband at some point . . to help you do the research. In the meantime read, read and read. Here are some sites to start with. Also find a support group where there are people with your type of cancer . . they will know all the latest and promising treatments.

NCI: Endometrial Cancer
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/endometrial

NCI: Cervical Cancer
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/cervical

ACOR: The Gynecological Cancers Online Support Group
http://listserv.acor.org/archives/gyn-onc.html

Eyes on the Prize - support for gynecological cancer
http://www.eyesontheprize.org/

Gyn cancer alliance
http://www.newhopecares.org/

Can Survive support group
http://www.cansurvivesupportgroup.org/

Answer 5

I got the "news" about cancer in 2004. Prostate cancer. So I'm coming from a married guy's position here, and a much different cancer than yours.
My wife's dad died from it so I didn't know how to approach the subject for a long time. Also have 3 kids, all grown now, and grandkids.
I waited as I went through options, etc. Finally saw oncologist who said I was to risky for surgery. I had to tell my wife then, as radiation treatments are every day.
Seemed to go completely over her head except the cost part. That is still a point we fight about as we lost our home, chapter 7, etc. because even with insurance, it's never enough money to fight cancer.

Answer 6

Here's what will happen. A few months from now, you will say " I went through all that???""" You'll make it through. Believe me, but right now i don't blame you if you say, "yea, right." "How do i know??"

It may be hard for your husband to talk about it because he is in denial. Remember, this always happens to someone else. He probably feels very awkward in dealing with it.
This is normal. so, give him a chance to come around.

Go ahead and cry. It's normal. Don't hold it in. If it makes you feel better,why not??

My wife had cancer 6 years ago, so I've been there. And the wife is doing just fine.
Feel better???

Answer 7

Of course you are overwhelmed. So is your husband. Men often want to fix things and they can't fix this. They feel helpless. See about a group where other people who are going through a similar situation are. It helps not to feel alone. Also knowing and having a direction is better than not knowing I think. Contact the American Cancer Society. They have information and perhaps someone for you to talk to.

Answer 8

Sweetheart, I'm sorry for the devastating news you just heard. Cancer is no longer the "BAD" word it used to be.
I would join a Support Group immediately. You need help from people that are going or have gone throught what you are going through right now.
Give your husband a chance to "process" all that information. You are his wife. He loves you. He's as lost as you are.

Above all, try to be POSITIVE!

My Prayers are with you and your family.

Answer 9

I think that he may be afraid to talk about it, like it'll make it more real. He is probably very scared, and isn't sure what to do or say. My dad was kinda like that when my mom got sick, he'd go to me and ask me to help her feel better. He loves you, and of course doesn't want anything to happen to you. The crying is so understandable, you're afraid, I would be too. I'll keep you in my prayers. Good luck, God bless.

Answer 10

Sounds like your husband is scared too -and he doesn't know what else to do. If he's anything like my husband, he thinks he has to always be the "strong one. Now being scared himself, he doesn't know how to be the "strong one" It sounds like you both need to give yourselves some time to come to grips with this thing. A suggestion, ask him to go with you to the doctors office. Try to open up communication about the subject. Ask him what he's feeling, what are his fears, and so on. In the MEANTIME, don't let the Fear of this challenge- beat you. You're going to need all your Strenth- to deal with it Directly. Hang in there. Good luck. & God Bless. Remember God is ultimatly in control so ask Him to help with this. I'll keep you both in my prayers. :)