Me and my aunt are really close but her son is always bulling my son, my aunt doesnt seem to think there a problem but i know there is. my son is 5 and her son is 8 her son is always pushing him around scratching him punching him and the list goes on..when i tell my aunt this she just says my son is a wimp and thats what he gets for not sticking up for himself, my son is a lover not a fighter. and talking to her son doesnt work he has no respect for me at all what should i do?
2007-08-31 16:17:19 · 30 answers · asked by Jennah 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Frankly I believe your son is number one in your life and therefore I would not allow them to hang out together. I wouldn't allow my son to be subjected to that behavior. I have heard that before "oh he needs to toughen up" whatever thats not true every child is different and if your aunts son is being a bully he is missing something in his life that makes him act this way. Keep your son away from that negative behavior. It is time we start raising our sons with dignity and respect and not this tough love bullshit!
2007-09-01 06:18:55 · answer #1 · answered by Essa L. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While quarrels are a normal part of growing up, bullying isn't. This cycle of abuse must STOP for your sons well being. Him being a Bully is a BIG problem. I'm sure your son feels hurt, scared, sick, lonely, embarrassed & sad. Since this involves a close family member i would handle this different than a school bully mainly because i can tell by your question your angry & frustrated ~BUT~ you don't want to just stop speaking to your aunt. You & your aunt as the parents should handle this problem together as responsible adults. You should sit down with your aunt and talk to your nephew. Ask him questions (without accusing him of anything or yelling). (Like=
Why he does this? Does he know how he is making your son feel?) *You can have your son come in after the talk & have him tell everyone how it makes him feel to be picked on & hit.* You have to stand tall and be brave & let him know what he is doing is very hurtful~ Does your nephew have have low-self esteem or have any other problems going on or do you think he may be doing this for attention? Sometimes a bully is the need to feel more powerful. Whatever the problem is with your nephew he needs help immediately because what he is damaging your son psychologically. Your aunt may not want to deal with this but she needs to get control of it.
A boy who is a bully at age eight is three times more likely to be convicted of a crime by age thirty and less likely than others to finish college and find a good job. Trust me getting help while he is still young is the best answer for the family. Make sure your son is alright & read up online ways to help your son cope with being a victim.
2007-09-01 00:43:09 · answer #2 · answered by ashley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds mean but i'd tell her if her son can't stop bullying your son i'd tell her that you will no longer be visiting her & she is no longer allowed in your home. It is pretty sad that anyone would say a five year old child is a wimp. He is still very small and doesn't deserve that kind of treatment. Your son is going to have some mental issues unless you get him away from this behavior. I was severly picked on by my brother all the time as a child one day i finally broke out and beat him up. I had years of anger built up from being picked on my brother may of been alot bigger than me but i had enough of being punched, bit', scratched and picked on & so will your son someday if this doesn't end soon. Your nephew is eight years old he should respect all his elders including you. My nephews only refer to me as ~Aunt Dee~ & say yes ma'am, please, thank-you and never speak to me in any other way. The problem with children today is the parents don't discipline them. (I'm not saying spank because there are other ways to discipline children). For one teaching them manners at a young age and not trying to teach them when they are already in school.
2007-08-31 23:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by Song_bird 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Why would you subject your son to this torture when you know exactly whats going on? You could find better things to do with your son. You and your aunt can spend time together without your children, just arrange for your son to be on a play date or something.
2007-09-01 00:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Unlucky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not the mother of your aunt's son. You can't discipline the child. My advice is to keep your son away from your aunt's son. If that means not seeing your aunt then so be it. Either that or tell your son to stop being such a wimp and to defend himself.
2007-09-01 18:36:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
For your aunt to be so "close", she is surely not showing much concern here (?)
Your FIRST loyalty should be to your son ! So, stop the little snot from coming around !! Plain and simple -- huh ? Your aunt has a problem with THAT -- she can stay home as well -- Huh ?
Simple solutions to complex problems ----
stop letting other people's problems with behavior and ethics become your own !!!
2007-08-31 23:29:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh poor baby!
Tell your aunt that you dont encourage your son to fight and you will find another child (your son's age) to play with him.
I have the impression that you are doing what you can to defend your son.
If possible you can put your son in Karate - it will give him self confidence (and discipline - so he will not beat everyone up)
My son is like yours.. a lover not a fighter and he goes to karate. After he started karate he does not take any crap from nobody,
2007-08-31 23:25:10 · answer #7 · answered by EnjoyR3d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could invite a friend to go with you next time you visit and tell her of the situation. When the older boy bullies your son the friend could say something, not nasty, just that she noticed it too. Your Aunt might think differently hearing from someone else.
2007-08-31 23:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by kiwichickie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't get together with your aunt. she's being selfish and stupid to let her son who is older bully younger kids. she should be teaching her son to be an example for others not knock them around. more than likely she likes her son being a bully as it appears he is a tough guy and quite frankly bullying other is not sticking up for yourself. yes, it's important to stand your ground and stick up for yourself but the age difference alone would mean it's more of a bullying situation. you;ve made her aware of the situation and she is unwilling to do anything about it which means she could careless about you or your son. if you were really close and she cared for you she'd want to do something about it. so now you are the one forced into doing something to protect your son, removing him from playing with the older kid is the next step.
2007-08-31 23:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by ?! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What NOT to do: Don't make your son stay away from her son, it will make them grow apart when no one has taken action.
Don't sit there.
What TO do: Speak with the aunt about it, have a talk face to face the bully and your son and make him say sorry and to never do it again.
Stick up for your son.
OR you can be around him when he's playing with him. Also, you can talk to the bully, you're the adult. You're all family anyhoo.
2007-09-01 02:10:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋