Excuses Excuses...unreliable friend??

Question

Ok I have an older friend that is 10 years older than me. She was my math college teacher and we became friends. We only talk through email b/c we are not that close yet but anyway..she just had a baby a month and a half ago and she has invited me over to see her already. Well I got her baby a present out of generosity.. (I have already gotten her a baby shower present which was an engravable picture frame that was expensive!)..but I was shopping and saw some cute outfits so I decided to get them just because. I have been trying to give them to her and I ask her in email when I can come by and give them to her but she either doesnt answer me sometimes or like today, told me to come over in email, but then called me later and said her AC wasbroken and being fixed, and to reschedule for next week. This will be the 3rd reschedule already. I told her it was time sensitive, which it is. I really think she is a great person and I understand she is busy with teaching and the baby, but she

acts like she doesn't want to be the kind of friend that I want to be with her. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't deserve my friendship..i am not being selfish either. I just dont know if she is making excuses or what... I cant really tell over the phone or in an email. And it is hurting my feelings. I need some good advice please! SHOULD I GIVE HER ONE MORE TIME AND IF SHE DOESN'T INVITE ME OVER LIEK SHE SAID SHE WOULD... SHOULD I JUST FORGET ABOUT HER? Kinda like 3 strikes and your OUT?

Answer 1

There are FRIENDS and then there are ACQUAINTANCES. This person is an acquaintance. You don't invest any real time or effort in them. Someone like that, you only give little token gifts or a greeting card to... just as a social convention.

At some point, you have to analyze each relationship in your life... you look at what each person brings to the table. Do they bring drama and try to drag you into it? Are they mooches? Do they bring wisdom? Laughter? That is when you figure out whom you will spend your time with, and whom you tend to not have time for.

Your "acquaintance" may eventually need adult company after living in babyland for a year. You can always go out for coffee.

Answer 2

I'm sure that she is not trying to ignore or blow you off in any way. She is busy.
Maybe you are seeing more in this relationship than she is.
She was your teacher and will probably see you as a student for the whole time that you two are in contact.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be friends with her, thats great..but think about it..did she ever say that she wanted to be friends, or just friendlly?