People tell me that forgiveness is for you, not quite mean't for the person who hurt you. I have tried to forgive someone who hurt me terribly, but I still don't feel at peace. How is it supposed to help us move on?
2007-08-31 15:17:11 · 8 answers · asked by Princess 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's because when we don't forgive someone, we are holding onto poison and resentment. Eventually, they eat away at our good mood, increasing our stress level and put us at risk for disease. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to open yourself up to abuse from that person in the future, or even have much contact with them. Still, I think you can only work on it. You can't force it. Forgiveness will come to you when you are ready.
2007-08-31 15:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by Zelda Hunter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is also ongoing. It has to be done over and over again. Each time something reminds you of the hurt, you need to forgive again. This can go on for years and years, but as time moves on it will get easier.
It is far from easy to forgive someone, especially if that person is not sorry. But it is necessary for your own peace in the years ahead. The other option is to hate that person, and that will only hurt you and make you bitter. Doing this will give that person power over you forever. This is the last thing you want. Forgiveness will help you, that's what you need to remember.
2007-09-01 00:22:53 · answer #2 · answered by ed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people tell you the forgiveness is for you- they are right. It makes your heart feel lighter, but before you forgive that person you have to realize that you never HAVE to forgive them. You wont feel at peace until you are ready to forgive. You're probably still in the healing phase. Its nice to take time and be upset about what happened to you and you have the right to be upset for as long as the hurt warrents. When/ If you're ready- you will forgive and know it- and if you never forgive- then other people will just have to deal with it
2007-08-31 15:28:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you forgive with all your heart and mind, it will ease the pain slowly but surely.i've been into that then you'll be going on with your life as normal, feeling glad for both of you who you have forgiven.however, if you're not ready to forgive then don't force yourself no matter what other people may advise you. it would only add to the pain and bitterness you have inside.let time heals all the wound. soon you will forgive that person without asking you to do so. forgiveness is for everyone, it's just we have to take sometime to feel it, to do it.
2007-08-31 15:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by miaka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All these answers are really really good......I cannot say it any better, what they have said is very true.
We can't control what happens to us in life, but we do have some control over our response to it.......
We can hang on to hurts by dwelling on them, or we can let them go a little quicker - just every time it comes into your mind, take your thoughts elsewhere - by choice - to something more positive.
You need time to heal, its true, but, just be aware, you can speed that process up a little if you really want to.
I think forgiveness is something you do with your mind and your heart......but it doesn't mean the pain leaves immediately.....it does take time......and it will heal if you let it.
Someday, maybe you'll look back and see what life lessons the whole experience taught you, and know that it wasn't all a waste.
2007-09-03 08:38:05 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is for us and not for the person who hurt us. By forgiving we let go of all the bad feelings and move on with our lives. Letting go of hurt and anger is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do in your life.
2007-09-04 15:22:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See when u forgive someone that person no longer has control over u emotionally and mentally, because u move on to the next step of healing.
2007-08-31 17:30:54 · answer #7 · answered by Apologist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you have learned the art of forgiveness, you will feel at peace and be able to move on. It seems that you have not yet learned.
I don't mean that in a bad way. Forgiveness is a deep and personal achievement that we can use as a landmark in our lives. People say that it is for us more so than for those who have wronged us- this is true. To be able to forgive and walk away, leaving behind feelings of anger and spite is to truly be free.
Mind you, to forgive is NOT to forget. You can forgive and leave behind feelings of anger but still carry feelings of hurt or pain. When we forgive, we allow ourselves to cut the ties that once bound us to someone who wronged us. Pain and hurt stay with us for as long as time takes to weaken and wash them away. Anger and spite is with us for as long as we allow it to be- for as long as it takes us to forgive.
2007-08-31 15:31:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋