So my best friend is getting on my Mom and I's nerves.
My friend and I are both on soccer and hockey (not sure if she's joining hockey this year though). We give her rides to EVERY game since her mom doesn't have a car.
Her and I are also in the school band. So hockey + band = 4 rides a week (during school yr)
Over the summer, whenever she talked to me she was only wondering about rides.
The point is, she lives out of the way of everything we go to, and she barely just 'hangs out' with me. She phones me, asks how things are going, but ALWAYS asks, about halfway through, if she can get a ride to some function or other.
She's polite and thanks my Mom for the rides, but she's out of the way and only talks to me when she wants a ride.
How would I go about "politely" telling her no, we can't give her rides all the time, do you think this is a taxi service?
:P I'm angry at her right now so sorry if this seems rude/petty. But we give her a ride at least 3 times a week during the school yr
2007-08-31 15:02:11 · 16 answers · asked by Loraine 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Her and I have been best friends since grade five. It's not like she's some random person who will bother me for rides... it's just that, she's out of the way. I just need a nice way to say "sorry we can't drive you anymore" pretty much.
Thanks everyone so far though!! :)
2007-08-31 16:26:59 · update #1
It could be that she doesn't want to hang out with you much other than the events you two already do together because she knows that you would have to come and get her, and she already feels like a burden on you. The reason rides come up in every conversation is because it is something she is constantly having to worry about...imagine if you were her how you would always be worried if you were going to be able to get to all of the things you are responsible to be at.
It doesn't sound to me that she is just taking advantage of you, is my point. Maybe you should phone HER more, and make a point of making her feel like you want more to your friendship.
2007-09-01 15:45:33 · answer #1 · answered by missbeans 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If her mother doesn't have a car, or if she doesn't have another way to get to her games/events, make sure you tell her she won't be able to ride with you this year BEFORE she signs up for anything. If she will be unable to get to practices without your help, she should know that before hand, so that she can choose not to sign up (and waste money).
If you're mid-season right now, consider waiting until right before sign-ups for next season. Let her know that she may need to reconsider signing up this time around, because you won't be able to give her rides anymore. Blame it on your mom's annoyance, if you need to (it's being honest, after all).
Just remember this is your self-claimed best friend you're talking about (in your first sentence). Telling her you no longer want to give her rides may end the friendship. Do you want her to stay home while you're at practice? Or is her friendship worth the annoyance?
Also, think of it from her perspective. If your mom suddenly lost the ability to drive you for some reason, would you be willing to not participate in sports anymore? Or would you hope to find a friend to get you there? Just something to think about...
~Kyanna
2007-09-01 02:17:51 · answer #2 · answered by Kyanna S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she like snub or avoid you at times when she doesn't need a ride? If not, and if she asks for the rides politely, it would seem kind of snotty to just say no. However, if it's really hard for your Mom to find the time and gas money to do this, then your Mom should be talk to the girl about it, maybe even talk to her parents. You two don't have to be crazy about each other, or even be good friends, to be good neighbors to each other. Helping other people is good.
2007-09-01 00:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't really a nice way but you can tell her about how gas is expensive these days. And you could tell her that maybe she can get a job and pay for a taxi. Just tell her you can't afford anymore rides and that it's tireing out your mom. Hope she understands :P
2007-09-01 00:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by Nina is here! :D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hint to her that gas prices aren't so great right now and that you think it would be a great idea if she gave your mom some gas money. If she reacts negatively, let that be the end of it...say that you just don't think you can be her chauffer anymore...she'll need to find her own way. It's not really fair for your family to have to do everything. Her own parents, if they were decent people, should have already offered some type of monetary compensation for all the shuttling your parents do. That's ridiculous, I'd be a bit mad myself. If there's one thing I have not patience for, users.
2007-08-31 22:47:19 · answer #5 · answered by daff73 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that because of the price of gasoline your Mom said that she will either have to start paying a weekly amount for rides or she will no longer be able to give her a ride. Just let your Mom know that you are using her as the excuse. Sounds to me like she is just using you and taking advantage of both you and your Mother.
2007-08-31 22:10:15 · answer #6 · answered by D and G Gifts Etc 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you for being angry & feeling used by this so-called 'friend'. My mom & i have 1 of those too & I wanted to say to her, no more... but my mom won't let me because she doesn't want to bring bad feelings or gossip. I just started to distance myself from this 'friend' & hope she gets the hint.
I know you'd feel a lot better if she at least offered to pay for the gas sometimes since she can't reciprocate with rides, but people like that are just leeches & take all they can until you're forced to say something. Believe me, I know.
2007-08-31 22:10:42 · answer #7 · answered by mstrywmn 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
it sounds as if you aren't actually best friends anymore so this shouldn't be to difficult. tell her your mom can't drive her anymore. she'll ask why. just tell her your mom said she can't anymore. case closed. don't let her badger you or make you feel bad about it. i'm sure her folks will come up with another way to get her where she needs to be.i've had this happen to me too. it's not that the people are rude but it gets a little tiresome after a while. especially if it's out of the way for you.
2007-08-31 22:13:03 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
"Gosh, I'm sorry, we're going shopping and out to supper and straight to the game afterwards. Maybe some other time."
Or, if that seems too last-minute, you could tell her that with the price of gas these days, your mom can't drive her to all the games anymore. You didn't mention gas -- isn't her mother paying for at least some of the gas? She should be, I think.
To tell the truth, I think your mother should tell her mother, but I was always kind of a coddler of my kids.
2007-08-31 22:10:46 · answer #9 · answered by bonitakale 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
So long as you consider her a friend it would probably be nicest to continue to let her ride with you to the games that you're going to anyway (even though you may be going out of your way to pick her up). If she is asking for rides to places that you're not going to, that is crossing the line a little bit. I think it would be okay to say no in that type of situation.
2007-08-31 22:16:37 · answer #10 · answered by DC Lady 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋