Why are people surprised when a person with strabismus is self-confident?

Question

I have intermittant strabismus where the eye I'm not using with turn inward.. so it gives me a cross-eyed appearence that is very noticable. I've had this my whole life so I'm kind of over it now. Yet, people are always surprised that I'm so out going and friendly and fun.

Like some people have actually told me they would be shy and self-conscious if they were in my situation. Why? Would you be embarrassed to have a bad leg or an arm in a cast?

Why do people think like this?

Answer 1

I read a really wonderful book once by Jacques Lusseyran, the blind hero of the French resistance during WWII. He was not born blind, but anyway he described it in many ways and his feelings about it. He also discussed why other people who were blind are sometimes so afraid, that they pretty much poison their lives with fear. The book is called "And There was Light", and each page is an absolute jewel. I'm glad to hear you have such a wonderful positive attitude.

Answer 2

Most people are very quick to judge by certain appearances and clues. And quite frequently wrong to do so.

Poor speech is often equated to poor intelligence, and that is incredibly frustrating to people who have suffered a stroke, as they are frequently treated as if their mind had gone, not just their motor coordination.

To a degree I'm guilty myself. I discount somewhat people on message boards who type awful English, tending to forget that they might not have English as a first language, or have typing problems. I'm still tempted to assume they are lazy, stupid or ill-educated.

The most extreme case was someone I knew dying of motor neurone disease. He couldn't move, couldn't speak beyond a selection of grunts, and drooled continuously.
Playing chess he could beat me two games out of three, and I played for my university.

If it doesn' t worry you, and it's just a part of you, to hell with them.
(Interesting experiment: would they treat you differently if you wore an eye-patch over that eye? That can come with seriously "tough" connotations! Try it at the next party with strangers...?)