How to keep my mother from freaking out while I tell her I'm CONSIDERING the military?

Question

I'm not dead-set on this yet, but I've been processing this thought for several months and lately have been seriously considering joining the Navy, in a mechanical/engineering or communications field. I STILL plan to attend college and acquire a civilian job for most of my life (as an architectural or other type of engineer).

I'm an 18-year-old female, and an honor/advanced student at my school. My father would probably accept my thought and help me come to a decision (whether or not I choose to enlist), being a lot calmer than my mom, but I know my mother would go absolutely crazy no matter what I tell her. She treats me like a child in a lot of respects (even my father acknowledges this), and is highly traditional (discouraged me from pursuing certain jobs because she believed they were more suited to guys) and religious. Her opinion of the military isn't the most admiring, either.

I love my mom, and want to at least keep her calm during the talk.

Answer 1

Have your dad talk to her first. Tell her it is only a consideration at this point. Be ready to give her the pros of going. Good luck!

Answer 2

First make your decision. Talk to every recruiter from every branch and believe absolutely nothing they tell you. Go to the DOD page and look at the statistics on the war. Finally, decide on the NAVY, because they have the best looking uniforms and you're always near the beach. Then finish high school and if possible get a college education and enter the military as an officer. Check out the pay scale between enlisted and officers and you'll decide that taking a commission is really the way to go. You've got time, plenty of time to make this life altering decision. If you are truly smart and motivated to make changes and lead then only with a commission will you be given the opportunity to advance and be paid a fair salary. Tell you mother about your long range goals and dreams. This is your life, and your failures and accomplishments are your own not your parents. It's a huge decision. Good luck.

Answer 3

As far as keeping mother calm IDK. My family had known my intent since my freshman year of high school. Since almost every member of my family, at least on the male side, has served for many generations. My grandmother was even a plane spotter in WWII Army. Although the pay was never the best, I know my family always considered it an honorable profession. MAYBE, your mother would be a bit more open to the idea knowing the MOS's you are wanting. Also, might make her realize that you are a mature sensible young lady who knows what she wants. If you are wanting to go to college how about a compromise for a reserve unit or something to this effect? With the many advances of the net today you could even consider an online degree. BTW, I served in the 80's Army, and after Basic, the base library had about 5 pages of correspondence courses available for free. As long as you complete the first few they will extend the option forever. Ever quit or fail they may change this privilege, though. Ipersonally thought of the Army as a chance to challenge myself. It is a great thing if you look at it as a chance to do things no civilian would ever do. Anyway, whatever you choose, GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

Answer 4

No matter what, a mother is always going to worry about her baby. You could get a job somewhere that has every sharp corner wrapped with bubble wrap or get paid for sitting and home and she would still find something to worry about.

She will calm down if instead of dropping a shock on her and declaring you might enlist in the millitary, tell her what your plan is and the more prepared you are, she will come around knowing that you aren't just diving in to something you know nothing about and you have looked at things honestly.

I would research the idea as much as possible beyond the superficial information.. Look into what is specifically required of enlistees to ensure the most success and the best chance of getting into the area of service that most interests them or fits their skills. Because if you don't have a demonstrated skill, you may not get as much choice to what you are assigned to do. (and i mean taking the right classes, maybe even after graduation etc). Even honor students are going to have to mop and paint. Also develop your physical fitness. There are roles that are not as physical, but you have to be able to withstand long hours, weird schedules - there will be no going home to take a nap because you don't feel too hot.

There are skills that you can acquire in the millitary but the guys and gals who already computer whizzes on their own will be tapped for computer stuff, the people that have engineering classes under their belt will be tapped for engineering, etc, before someone who has always wanted to try something.

You may also want to look into the Army Corp of Engineers as well.and find out if they "will train" - you could write your own ticket in engineering and architecture after a stint with them.

Answer 5

Joining the Navy to study engineering is a good path to go. If they are worried about you getting deployed to Iraq or something, well don't worry about it.

Speak to a recruiter, they can answer pretty much any questions you or your parents might have.

You are 18, you do not need parental consent to join the Navy. After considering this, just put your foot down and decide for yourself. Don't let anyone hold you back, not even your mother.

Just be sure of your decision when you make it. You don't want to commit for 4 years and then decide that you hate it.

Answer 6

I would just tell during a normal conversation. While you are talking about cooking or something, bring what you are considering for YOUR future. Remember, this is your life, not your moms. I commend you for even considering the military. Now days with the wars going on around the world, alot of young adults dont even consider as much as they should. The opportunity to serve your country is the most noble and free thing you can do for your future and for your country.

It is so easy for me to tell you this. I have been in the Army for 15 years and me and my family love every minute of it. The time we have together is spent as family time and supporting eachother. No matter what happens, we fullfill eachothers days with togetherness.

So, all I am telling you is that you are going to have more fun than you think no matter what branch you join. You will have your parents support no matter what you do. You just have to believe that. It is a very noble thing to do what you are going to do.

SSG Schramm
US Army 15 years

Answer 7

I would prepare myself for some freaking out. If you want to go into the navy why don't you look into getting an appointment into Annapolis? You could then be an officer and the Navy would pay for your college. Frankly of all the military branches, I would think your Mom would be happier with the Navy....(yup I am a Navy brat). Follow your heart and your dreams...the Navy will do nothing but help you & you would have lots of opportunitites that otherwise you would miss out on. I would/will be proud of any of my girls if they choose to join the Navy! Good luck & best wishes!!!

Answer 8

my parents were the exact same way.
I'm in the Navy Delayed Entry Program..
my original shipout date is 20080122, but, I've requested to ship out in september.
My mom now supports me 100 percent.
my dad still wants me to go to college..
you can't make EVERYONE happy in your life.
you got to make yourself happy, and do what's right for YOU.
you can email me if you'd like to..
[e-mail]

Answer 9

Well- I kind of have to watch my mom too- and I'm a lot older than you!

Your best bet would probably be to get your dad to help. That won't stop her from freaking out, but hopefully it will cut the freak-out time short.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Your 18, be an adult. you need to stand firm and tell your parents you want to join the worlds fastest smartest nuclear navy.

Answer 11

Outline your chosen career path clearly to her. Explain how safe the Navy is in a ground battle. Then explain, gently, that as an adult you don't need her consent, but you'd really like her approval.