My daughter (age 15) and I are living with my parents for now. I live in a different state than her father and he just sent her to
live with me.
My parents can be very pushy. They try to take charge of her life.
I don't know how to tell them that its my child and I will make decisions regarding her life.
My mother keeps making weird comments about how its a big day for my daughter to be going to school here.
They also keep pressuring me about the admissions process and keep asking about what classes she is taking.
My daughter thinks that its because my mother is lonely and wants a friend in my child?
It really irritates me because I thought I could get my ex-husband to change and could put the family back together again.
Yet, my parents keep pressuring me to get my daughter situated here where she is not comfortable.
How should I react to their statements?
2007-08-31 12:59:33 · 8 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to get out on your own ASAP !!!
As long asyou are under their roof - boht of you (you and your daughter) are the "children" in the house in their eyes. Not saying this is right, but its true.
Then you and your daughter can make plans / decisions that are best for the two of you.
Start plannning your way to independence NOW !
2007-08-31 13:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by aa889d 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To your parents you will always be their little girl. Now they have the chance to help you out with her, and they think they know it all.
Turn your head around... relax and recruit your parents for help. It sounds like they would love it. You should take advantage of the situation and see if there is some employment for you in the area.
Your 15 year-old seems to have a pretty level head on her shoulders. You need to provide her with stability. A year or three away from her flaky dad in a stable environment might be just the thing she needs for her last few years of high school.
Give her dad the heads-up that these are the new plans unless he gets off dead center and unites his family fast. At that point he will either sh*t or get off the pot. Plan things as if he won't move to reunite you.
2007-08-31 21:33:17 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your daughter, you should be the only one who has a say in her life. But, you are living under your mother's roof, so she should have some say in some things. If your mother makes rules, you and your daughter should abide by them. If you are not staying there long, live with it. Your daughter sounds like one smart cookie to figure out your mother is lonely.
You can't make anyone change, so give up on the ex and move on with your life.
2007-08-31 20:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by harleychic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem a little uncomfortable yourself. Your mother has accepted your daughter and accepted that she will be staying. You on the other hand seem to hope that she can returen to her father and that she would be happier there. You're angry because your mother's hopes are different from yours. I don't think she'd be as involved if you weren't both living under her roof. What is the likelihood that she will have to go to school in your state? If it's high, then your mother is right in what she says. If it's low - explain that to her.What does your daughter want? She seems happy enough to recognise your mother's interest as friendship...
2007-08-31 20:35:07 · answer #4 · answered by Briallen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband is not going to work things out, that's why he sent your daughter to you. Your Mom already sees this but you don't. Start planning on making a new life with you and your daughter. It's going to take a little time and a lot of effort. In the meantime, be thankful you have someone to help you during this transition. Don't sit back and wish any more, get out, get a job and start saving for the future apartment you and your daughter will live in.
2007-08-31 20:14:57 · answer #5 · answered by nancie_usa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your mother needs to stay out of it. She is your daughter and I am sure that your mother would have wanted someone telling her how to raise you. Stand up for yourself and don't let her walk all over you.
I agree about the ex, you should never try to change someone. Most people are who they are and there is not much you can do about that.
2007-08-31 20:10:24 · answer #6 · answered by lash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think they are doing that to piss anyone off i think is just that they are interested in her life after all it is a big change in her life and besides you she might only have them to talk to. the other thing is that right now you are pretty much in the deffensive with your parents i mean you have been writting about your life for the past what..... 1 year or something like that i only see that you have anger issues with them but that doesnt mean they wanna piss you off by wanting to be there for their grand daughter on the contrary you both are living there in THEIR house you still gotta respect their rules and the other thing is that what good brings living with poeple and not even knowing what they are up to?????
2007-08-31 20:30:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell them if you want their advise, you will ask for it. This is YOUR daughter and you have all the say so.
2007-08-31 20:35:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋