"I refuse to enter a battle of the wits with you --it's against my morals to attack an unarmed person".
"Yeah, I'd love to f!ck your brains out, but apparently someone BEAT ME TO IT!"
"Are your parents cousins?"
"I know cement that gets hard faster than you".
"Your teeth are so yellow; I can't believe it's not butter".
"Sex with you is like using drugs. Lots of people do it, but nobody's stupid
enough to admit it."
"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take this
knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again."
Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
"How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having
met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell till
I met you."
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but
wonder: What the **** was I thinking?"
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it
for me."
"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the
need for therapy..."
"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
"Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that are
bigger than mine."
"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!
"Congratulations on getting married! It's not every day you decide to ruin
your life!"
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've
broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
"We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits."
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was
only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
2007-08-31
09:36:31
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22 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Entertainment & Music
➔ Jokes & Riddles