I really feel bad about something I did, even though I already asked the Lord to forgive me. This guy overheard me saying something about him and I think it kind of annoyed him. He has made fun of me mercilessly and even made sexual comments to me in the past, but he doesn't really do much of anything anymore except make weird noises around me. I know I should apologize to him, but I actually feel like I'm in danger sometimes when I'm around him (because of some of those things that he's done). I'm saved, but this is my big sin area (dealing w/ unlikable people). Please help. thanks!
2007-08-31 08:39:47 · 18 answers · asked by 77684 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I wouldn't say your "big sin area" is dealing with unlikeable people.
I'd say your "big sin area" is closer to you saying things about people to other people -- things that evidently can be hurtful -- to both you and the person you're gossiping about.
Next time, instead of someone overhearing you, it will be someone repeating something you've said.
So, your problem isn't with difficult people, your problem is to learn to keep your mouth shut, and not talk about other people.
Do nothing for two weeks, then come back to this question, and see if you still feel the same way about the situation.
Godspeed.
2007-08-31 08:47:11 · answer #1 · answered by jimmeisnerjr 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some people like to think that God's opinion is the only thing that matters. But we all live in the material world. We can be mistaken about other people and have irrational feelings about them, but if it gets in the way of our functioning in life, we need to do something about it.
The downside of confessing to God is that only God hears it. You also need to talk to the person you're estranged from. It may be a simple misunderstanding, or you may not have realized just how you affected the person.
If the person does not seem interested in reconciling or appears threatening, you probably should not try it without some moral support. A public setting, or a neutral friend might help the process. Let your antagonist know that you're interested in settling the issue. Be open to another viewpoint. Resist the urge to "explain" your actions and simply apologize for your actions (not his reactions). It will probably feel humiliating but that's the idea, isn't it? You want forgiveness.
Again, he may not be interested, but if you don't make the effort, you will have trouble letting it go. You can take comfort in your sincere act of communication and hopefully move on.
2007-08-31 08:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by skepsis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you need to provide a little more information. Is this at work or school? If so, report this man's behavior. You have a right not to be afraid. Is it possible for you to avoid this person? If so, do it!
As a Christian, you are to ask for forgiveness and to forgive. You might have very good reasons to dislike this person, but you are required to forgive what he has done to you. That doesn't mean stand around and let it continue to happen. You should also pray to God about apologizing since you feel in danger around this man. I don't think God wants you to get hurt just to say you are sorry. If you were gossiping, please stop. You now see one of the consequences to that action. If you were asking for advice, do it in a more private setting so you will not be overheard.
Hope I helped a little. Good luck.
2007-08-31 08:55:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked forgiveness from the wrong person, in this case your god. You should have made amends to the person you harmed. You apparently caused this whole fiasco, now it's up to you to fix it or live with it.
You should look at why you feel such a need to talk about people. You're blaming others for your own shortcomings, as evidenced by your phrase, "dealing with unlikable people".
The problem is not that they are unlikable. The problem is that you don't like them. The immature make excuses, but the mature and responsible make choices.
2007-08-31 08:53:23 · answer #4 · answered by Shawn B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say there are no coincidences and now I believe it even more. I made out a very mean postcard this morning to a man I have a lot of trouble with. Then, I needed tech support and the fella that helped me was so nice and I was so mean to him, I apologized and he told me it was ok. He understood how hard it can be for older people to fix their computers. His mother had died earlier in the year and he liked helping his older customers. It made me cry because being mean isnt really like me. It's probably not like you either. That's why it felt bad, even if your co-worker did deserve it. I asked for God's forgiveness and tore up the postcard. You've asked for God's forgiveness too and you'll feel better soon.
2007-08-31 08:52:17 · answer #5 · answered by phlada64 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your sin was against God and God alone. If you've repented, meaning you won't do this again...to anyone, then you should look ahead to the future and try and come up with ways to avoid the same situation later. Like, avoiding useless talk. The only thing you can do is to try and do better next time and if you're really scared of the guy, then don't go around him. If you ever feel safe around him, try and let him know that you are sorry. Also, if you're with a group of friends that are talking about him, try and find something nice to say about him. If he overhears you saying something nice about him, his whole attitude toward you may change. Kill em with kindness! Remember, people only make fun of you because they feel inferior to you. People that do bad things are really just lost and reaching out. Pray for this guy. Bless your enemies. "Bless" means to "Speak well of". God Bless You!
2007-08-31 08:49:24 · answer #6 · answered by pondering 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, you made a mistake, don't beat yourself up over it. There's a expression that goes "it's easier to take back a slap in the face than words."
Sounds to me like you need to stay away from this guy, he sounds not only very immature for making sounds when you are around..but something inside you is telling you to be afraid of him.
I would go with my gut reaction and just keep a good distance from him.
2007-08-31 08:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by djc1175 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the details but it sounds like you should
1. Ask God to forgive you for gossiping or speaking unkindly.
2. Ask this guy to forgive you for what ever you said
3. Stay away from this guy after you apologize
4. Ask god to protect you, to lead and guide you
5. Make friends with strong believers
6. Get involved in a good bible study
god bless
2007-08-31 08:46:40 · answer #8 · answered by happy pilgrim 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
FIRST.... this ... DEFINITELY.... IS NOT.... the Forum... to... Air Your Sins..... as there are MORE MOCKERS... here than ... Believers!
YOU.... could select a Believer ... from those that Post Here... and ask them DIRECTLY... via... email !
SECOND..... HOW do you know .... he over heard YOU ? Did one of your Friends.... SAY SO?
THIRD.... YOU can go to this PERSON... Directly.... out of earshot.... and away from.... people... AND ASK HIM.... " DID I SAY... Something .... TO... OFFEND YOU? ? "
Allow... HIM... some time to Answer.... as he may be TAKEN BACK.... by your Candor.... and ... Honesty!
FOURTH... if he says... YES... then ... ASK.... FORGIVENESS... FOR WHAT YOU SAID....!
IF... NEED BE.... Apologize..... in from OF THOSE YOU SAID.... THE DEED !
FIFTH...... " As A Christian..... NEVER.... Speak... BADLY... about the Undsaved... and... the ... Unbeliever!
Thanks, RR
2007-08-31 08:48:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
now that you have asked the LORD for forgiveness its time to forgive yourself and to also ask the person for forgiveness for whatever it was that you said!!!!!! you need to be able to come to a place where you can forgive yourself because if you dont along comes guilt
2007-08-31 09:13:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋