My daughter just started kindergarten this week...?

Question

...and today is the second day in a row she's had an 'accident' in her pants. She's been going to day care/preschool since she was 2, and she's NEVER ONCE peed her pants!!!! What the heck is going on?? Is she just stressed?? She is acting like it's no big deal, but I don't want kids to start making fun of her! Can anyone offer any advice?

Thanks so much in advance!

I just called her teacher, and she says that they do have scheduled breaks, but she tells the kids that if they really have to go, they don't even have to ask permission.

Answer 1

Sounds to me like she's nervous but not really showing it to you. When I was a child I had the same problem. The only way that'll go away is if she just gets use to kindergarten and you could help by telling her how much fun it was for you when you were her age or tell her other positives that'd make her feel more comfortable. I think everyone gets a little shy in a new place and it just takes time to get use to changes :)

Answer 2

I think you probably can just chalk it up to new school, new kids, new teachers, new environment. I think you have to find out the circumstances of the accident, what's different from the past. Mostly, what time of the day is this happening and when are the potty breaks? Are there too little breaks? Is she having an accident before or after a break? Are there even scheduled potty breaks or does she and everyone else need to tell the teacher when she needs to go? Was she outside at recess and didn't want to stop having fun or know who to tell that she needed to go. Or just too afraid to ask/disrupt what was going on to tell someone? What and when is she drinking? Do they have snacks/juice at school? Are there more kids in the class than her other classes in the past? That could be more intimidating. Is there only one teacher? Also, some kids don't know which washroom (boys/girls) to use and that walk from the class to the washroom can be SCARY!

My suggestion--talk about it, but don't make a big deal out of it either. At least, take the approach that it was an accident and they do happen...and just remind her that she's in kindergarten and needs to use the potty and be a big girl and tell the teacher (address the teacher by name) that she needs to go. For next week, I would remind her to go before school starts. Then walk her into school, show her where the washrooms are, which is hers, which is the boys...and how close it is to her classroom. And ask her if she needs to go again at that time. (It's better to have gone potty and be late to class) Then explain to her that if she has to go during class, she need to ask/tell the teacher. I am sure she knows all of this, but probably just needs a gentle reminder. Good luck!

Update: Since the teacher has given permission to just go if an emergency--then I would find out where the washroom is and if she knows where it is and how to get there....and have her take you. Also, I would explain to her the difference between and emergency and non-emergency. Reason why--when I was in kindergarten over 30 yrs ago, my teacher said the same thing, that I could just go to the washroom if I really had to go. Well, my friend and I had to go, so I said, let's go. And we did. The teacher yelled at us for leaving without permission. As a 5 year old, I didn't understand, but that memory has stuck with me.

Answer 3

I went through this last year. My daughter would walk in the door, toss her backpack and lay on the floor and cry. it was awful, she developed an attitude with me- which my sweet little baby never had before. The reason is, they have to sit so calm and quietly all day long and get in trouble for any little squeak they make and they know they can come home and take it out on family because we will love them no matter what, right? She is in first grade now and i developed a routine for her which helps tremendously. I pick her up from school and have a snack (banana, apple or whatever) and a bottle of ice cold propel water waiting for her in the car. When she gets home she gets 30 minutes of couch time. she lays on the couch to unwind with a book or the TV- before starting any homework or activities. The snack and relaxing time is what does the trick. Oh, I forgot to add: Getting her in a good routine *before* school will help, too. I make mine a bg breakfast and sit with them whil they eat and sometimes they'll watch a little TV, but mostly we read over the weeks spelling words or just talk.

Answer 4

I am a kindergarten teacher and I experience this problem almost daily. As Kindergarten teachers we understand that they have small bladders and we do let them go to the bathroom when they ask. However if an "accident" occurs I personally don't make a big deal out of it. It happens. It sounded like to me that she was having so much fun she forgot to go to the bathroom. I would just pack an extra set of pants and underwear in her bag pack just in case it happens. Don't worry no one will make fun of your child. Just talk to you daughter and remind her to go to the bathroom often and don't scold her for having an "accident". They happen all the time. They are little and many times they don't know better!

Answer 5

Give her reassurance, she is just stressed and reverting to old ways. Tell her she will need to use a pull up instead of big girl undies if it does not stop. Tell her she needs to tell the teacher as soon as she has to go, even if she has to raise her hand and have the teacher come to her and whisper it in her ear. She may be embarrassed to tell the teacher she has to go. Also, you may want to talk to the teacher and have her make her go to the potty during all breaks no matter what, just to try to go. Give it a week or so and she will get better.

Answer 6

It could be stress, or it could be that the teacher isn't giving bathroom breaks often enough. I would first call the teacher and ask "how often do they get breaks? Does my child ask to use the restroom? If so, is she permitted to go when she asks?" I've found that teachers don't permit children to go when they ask because once one goes, they all "have to go". It's not acceptable for kindergarteners though in my opinion. They are very small and many of them haven't been potty trained for all that long.

Answer 7

I would remined her every morning where the restroom is and to use it often. I new a few mom's that would limit there childrens fluid intake in the morning because their daughter's did not want to use the restroom at all.

When my son had his accident it was because he had trouble with zippers and snaps. As you know when a child has to go they have to go! I went out and bought all new pants with elastic waist so he did not have to fumble with anything.

Also remember that your daughter will not be the only one that has an accident this year.

I hope this helps.

Answer 8

Make sure they are getting bathroom breaks at school. When i hit kindergarten it was horrible because they would only give so many breaks while we were there and the teacher was to busy to take us any other time. Talk to the teacher and find out bathroom policy and make sure your daughter isn't scared to ask to go to the restroom.

Answer 9

All kids regress a little bit when they hit a new milestone. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Good idea to remind her to think about hitting the bathroom at break time. Also be sure she goes potty right before you take her to school.

My son would forget to go during 1st grade so he would come home from school and race to the bathroom to pee. Just got to get them into new habits.

Answer 10

You don't want kids to make fun if her? Naturally we want to keep our kids safe, but I think there is a bigger problem here. The transistion from going to daycare to kindergarten might have stressed her out that much, and she has accidents. My son did this when he went to daycare for the first few times.

Talk to her about her anxieties. I bet it will make her feel better.

Best of luck to you!