How in the world do I deal with my partner who...?

Question

My fiancee and I We live in different countries. I always call her whenever she wants no matter what even if im at work i find a way and ive done that for 2 years i guess. Ive showed my total commitment.These days im having a bit of finanical trouble, she knows, but i mention it as less as possible cause it dont sound nice to say 'i cant call u cause cant afford it'. But last week i explained to her nicely that pls be patient im looking for a job although i would love to call u its just not posisble these days. she said 'yeah sure y would i mind such a thing man'. So today what happens is she called me and expected me to call her back. I said i cudnt but i didnt repeat the money thing. She hung up. wudnt talk to me at all totally pissed off. I reminded her after about the job issue and that i wud luv to call her but i just cant. This is the first time i cudnt call her. Now she's pissed off and wnt talk. i mean have i done nyting wrong? y do i feel so guilty? What to do?

Answer 1

Sigh. She is acting so "girl"! is all I can tell you.

Girls are so full of little "markers" to prove your love for them and the minute this is breached, then its panic, panic, panic.

I guess you are both young and she is especially vulnerable to immature and unrealistic burdens of proof of love.

So having said that, why on earth are you still using the darn long distance telephone?
Are you mad? Those costs an arm and a leg.

What happened to VOIP, Yak, 1 cent longdistance telephone rate cards?, free long distance calling and email?

Email is practically free. You do not have any excuse for not emailing. Unless she lives in the boonies that has no computers, and you are working in a ship which has no internet, you can send a little email that wouldnt take you 5 minutes to create.

Answer 2

Not knowing your exact circumstance makes answering this kinda hard. I could say that she needs to 'get over it' but that sounds a little harsh considering you have a 2 year relationship going. Is there any reason why she may feel a tad insecure and maybe that's why she is upset about you not calling all the time. Surely she should understand that you are on limited funds and can only afford to talk occassionally right now. You may just tell her that you will call her every ___day at _:00. And stick to that schedule. If she truly wants to continue the relationship, she should understand.

Answer 3

Being a woman myself, I can tell you no, you haven't done anything wrong. It's her that's wrong. If you're American and she something else, then she probably has a twisted view of what American life if like and expects you to be rich and whatnot. If she's American, she's spoiled and expects you to go to the Earth's core for her no matter the cost. If neither of you are American, I can't help you, sorry. But I can say this- if she's going to do you this way, she doesn't deserve to be married to you.

You feel guilty because she made you fell guilty (and you really shouldn't. It's not your fault times are hard finacialy.) I think- but it's up to you now- that you need to let her go if she's going to get pissed off at every single little thing like this. You deserve better, we all do.

Answer 4

My dear you should not feel guilty. I do not think you 2 are a good match. end it now. The purpose of dating, then engagement is to really get to know someone over a long period of time face to face. She sounds rude, selfish, self-centered. this is not the type of person you would like to be with forever. It is time for you to man up, make the right choice, break it off, find someone that lives near you. You sound very nice and kind. She does not...Move on. This is just one life lesson you will have learned...Good luck!

Answer 5

She is acting very immature. If it's possible, you should try to sit down face to face with her to explain that you WANT to call her but you cannot. Has she always been this insecure? Has there been infidelity? She may be dealing with some things on her own. Try to have a long talk with her to find out how she really feels. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Don't give in to this pouting. When she was a two year old, someone let her get away with pouting to get what she wants. Do what you have to do. There are other ways of communicating, and if she's not mature enough for letters or email, then let her find someone else. She will hold you hostage to her pouting forever. If she finds someone else, you might be better off! Good luck!

Answer 7

How is she your fiancee, but she lives in another country? She does'nt sound too understanding. Are you two going to move into a place together??? How is this going to work? If not~ you should just let her go and try to find someone in your country to be with! Best of Luck!!!

Answer 8

If she loves you she wouldn't be so selfish. Write her a long, handwritten letter. Tell her how difficult it is for you to try to hold up her end of this relationship in addition to your own. If she continues to act the way she is, then you may want to reconsider your future with this woman. There are going to be much greater issues to deal with in the future, how do you think she'll handle them?

Answer 9

In all honesty...u dont need her. shes not an understanding person obviously. and being together is about support and understanding. You can do better, because if she acts like this once she'll do it again, its not worth it. DUMP THE B****!

Answer 10

First what you do is dump her. Her attitude sounds really crappy. She doesn't sound understanding. It sounds like you have your own problems and you don't need to deal with her crappy attitude on top of what you're dealing with. You have already explained the situation to her. If she can't be understanding why put up with her? Second- dump her. Did I already mnetion that?