2007-08-31 06:16:36 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
I have 6 adopted children. Although adopted children do sometimes want to find their biological parents, does not necessarly mean they are going to abandon the adoptive parents and go back to the biological parents. My 23yr old does have contact with her biological mother now,but, she also tell her "you are my mother" but they are my "parents". Kids know who loves them, feeds them, clothes them, and takes care of them. Being a parent is forming lasting bonds with your children, wether they be biological or adopted, and when those bonds are formed, nothing will break them. You have to understand, there is a "mother" and a "mom", there is a "father" and a "dad", mothers and fathers provide life to a child, moms and dads provide love, nurturing, and caring, children do not turn away from those who love them and whom they have grown to love as mom and dad!
2007-08-31 06:47:51 · answer #1 · answered by s_f_c2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do not become a parent so that someone will love you. You become a parent because you want to share your love. I am an adopted parent, my children were raised knowing the were adopted. I encouraged each of them to find their birth parents as they expressed interest. If one of them decides that the birth parent has more love to offer then than I do then, I would be fine with that, but it has not yet happened and I am not concerned. So the point: To raise a child in a loving, nurturing home!
2007-09-02 00:22:36 · answer #2 · answered by itchianna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children love the parents that raised them. The parents that raise a child are the Childs REAL parents. I’m adopted and the only feelings I have for birthmother is being gratefully she had me, and put me up for adoption. The little I know about her I know I wouldn’t not have had a very good life if I had stayed with her, this woman couldn’t even hold down a job. Other then that she is nothing to me. Yes some adopted people want to seek out their birthparents but it doesn’t have to do with them not loving their Parents. They just want to know things like medical history, maybe where they got their eye color, what heritages they have that type of stuff. In some cases people do not get the greatest adopted parents this can happen but then again people can be born to the not the greatest parents.
2007-08-31 17:01:14 · answer #3 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The whole misconception with adoption & adoptees - lies in the stories of which parent the adoptee loves most.
I have 3 kids - do I love one child more than the others - NO.
The human heart is capable of loving many.
If the adoptive parents love their adoptee - and allow their adoptee to love everyone they care about in their lives - an adoptee has plenty of space to love all - including both sets of parents.
The problem lies with those adoptive parents that treat their adoptees as material possession - stating that they must love their adoptive parents above all others - and not letting their adoptees make up their own minds.
As parents - whether biological or adoptive - we are in charge of our children until they reach adulthood.
If we have done a good job - been fair - loved them without question - then - and only then - will they love us back.
If we have f*cked up - they'll run from us as fast as they can.
Yes - adoptees have a link to their biological parents - some choose to find it - some do not - but it does exist.
If adoptive parents perceive some kind of 'unfairness' with the balance of love - then - perhaps they're being a little selfish and unrealistic about how love should work.
Those adoptees that I know - that have had full support to seek out their biological roots - ultimately have a greater respect and love for their adoptive parents than of those that would behave differently.
It's not a competition.
Adoption should be about "IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD" - not about controlling another human being for the rest of their natural lives.
2007-09-01 07:37:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
A couple reasons:
1- Adoptive kids usually come from a bad enviornment. Some adoptive parents want to give a good enviornment so the child will have the "tools" to succeed in life. Others don't even tell the child that he/she was adopted. And yet many adopted kids love the adoptive parents more. To them, they are the real parents. Sure, at first, when the kid finds out they'll be mad and sad, but when they get older, they'll realize who was there fore them; who provided for, raised, and loved the kid.
2007-08-31 22:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by slowpoke rodriguez 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I was adopted. I grew up to love my real parents...the ones that raised me. Many people who are adopted will not ever get the chance to meet the people who gave birth to them...that is changing with open adoptions, but still...
I have found and met my birth family. They are great and in many ways I have a lot in common with them. I look at it as having two families. Kind of like if you had parents that were divorced...two sides of the family.
You ask a question which brought some discussion in the adoptee group that I belong to. I hope that you have been enlightened to your naiivity.
2007-09-03 05:19:05 · answer #6 · answered by salznail 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Probably not. They know the people who adopted them as their parents, the people who loved and provided for them. My real parents ARE my adoptive parents because in my mind, a parent does more than just give birth. A parent gives care and love.
2007-08-31 16:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Brown 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You adopt a child because you want to be a parent .
You want to raise a child and help that child to learn how to get along in the world successfully.
You Raise a child because you love that child and it makes no difference how many other people in the world that child loves.
You do not raise a child so that you will have someone to love you and only you.
You adopt and raise a child for that child's benefit -not only yours.
You love that child no matter what , how or whatever .
A parent is a parent forever no matter how that child came to be -no matter where that child decides to go . Love . Bemo
2007-08-31 13:33:49 · answer #8 · answered by Bemo 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The answer to your question is no. You obviously have no experience with adoption.
To aout; Not all adopted children were left abandoned or orphaned. Many babies are lovingly given to an adoptive family because a " very brave" birth mother was simply too young to care for the child. There are many beautiful relationships developed between adoptive parents, birth parents and the child.
2007-08-31 19:08:20 · answer #9 · answered by Cam 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I highly doubt there would be any problems.....the child is going to love the parents that sowed him/her love! Having a sister that was adopted she could care less about her biological parents...she only wanted a sister because she has 2 brothers and was missing that connection her friends had.having a sister! I also gave a baby up for adoption he is now 22 and more interested in my son (his brother) I don't ever refer to him as my child because I made the decision for him to have a better life with parents that would be able to provide for him. He knows who, where, I am and he doesn't call me or write me but he does have contact with my son.....I wouldn't worry........
2007-08-31 14:13:31 · answer #10 · answered by Kayla 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋