With differences bewtten both families increasing day by day.. this relation is nearly seeing its end...... and even though i know he is not the 'best' for me i love him a lot and i dont know how i am gonna survive without him..... Plz give me suggestions...... how do i save my relationship and ensure if he loves me a lot too
2007-08-31 05:37:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He's literally one-year-old? Or y'all have been dating for one year?
OK, why did I get a thumbs down? I'm serious! The question literally says "When I got engaged to my 1yr old boyfriend"! WTF?!? I don't get it! I want to know the asker's FOS or not!
2007-08-31 05:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 2⤋
I'm hoping you and your bf have been together for a year, and he's not a literal 1 year old....
First off, you will survive without him, people do it every day.
If he's not the "best" for you though, why are you wanting to marry him? Don't you deserve the best?
Remember, when you marry him, you marry his family as well. If the family issues are driving you apart now, that's nothing compared to what they'll do after you're married. If you cannot resolve the family issues, then you should reconsider marriage, unless you're both willing to sever ties with both families. But, the best person for you wouldn't want you to do that...so that gets back to point #2.
If you really think the relationship is worth saving, then I'd suggest couples counseling. Sometimes an impartial 3rd party can really shed some light on problems that appear to have no resolution.
2007-08-31 05:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I am sort of in a similar situation. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. He asked me to marry him 6 months ago and now I see him through microscopic eyes. I love him so much but everything he does I wonder is this REALLY the guy 4 me? I don't know if I am just getting cold feet or if I am making a huge mistake. I am sorry I don't have an answer for you. I feel the same. My mom has always told me "When in doubt, DON'T" That has always stuck with me and I use it quite often, it really does work. When I don't use that strategy and I DO when in doubt I usually regret doing it. So now I am not sure to do it when I am in doubt, and I can't imagine life without him either. I know I don't have a solution for you I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one feeling this way. I hope helped in some way, Good luck
2007-08-31 05:56:07 · answer #3 · answered by doll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a minute? Wtf do u mean can't live without? U were living before you met him and u'll be just fine without him. First of all HONEY, please try to understand that sometimes relationships don't work out and when that happens you must pick yourself up, dust your shoulders off and either focus on yourself and try something new. Second of all, families? U and ur guy are a new family... don't let other ppls decisions or opinions dictate what you and your man do. You've made the choice to start a relationship SO ur relationship and all u bring to the table is your future. Focus on your future and don't let what people think change your opinion about your man or the relationship yall have. If yall are friends try working on your friendship. If yall aren't friends its pretty unlikely that your relationship will work out. Stay strong and make some grown up decisions about what you want and what this guy has to offer u. Is he worth all of this? If so, be a woman about this situation and make some choices for yourself that will ultimately affect where u and ur man stand years from now. Think things through logically... good luck hun!!
2007-08-31 05:47:40 · answer #4 · answered by Benny 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If it is meant to be then it will be. There is nothing you can do besides talk to him about how you feel. You cant "fix" difference between families you can only talk about them. If you know he is not the best for you then you need to move on. I know it is hard but when you finally do find the person that is "the best" for you it will all be worth it. Don't stay in a situation that isn't right just because you are afraid to move one. Remember, you cant make someone love you and why would you want to waste your love on someone who doesn't return the same feelings
2007-08-31 05:51:39 · answer #5 · answered by Cynthia B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can live without him.
He's not the best for you and you know it. So why being stubborn and keep on dragging this drama any further????
YOu deserve better than someone that is below your standards or expectations. You can love different people in yoru life an din a different way, but I can tell you that the real love of yoru life is when the two families can be one and when you know that your partner doesn''t need any improvements to match you, because just the way he is, he suits you well. If you think that 'one day" he would "change" or "one day" he will do X or Y for you.... you are sadly mistaken. If he is not for you, he is not for you period. As much as it hurts to adnit it. wake up and smell the cofffee,
Grow a spine and think with yoru brain.
Good luck
2007-08-31 05:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go talk to someone a counselor, minister, priest and try sitting down and talking to each other. Our families more different then even night and day but that has nothing to do with our relationship and family we have made together...you also mention he is not the "best" for you??? it takes more then love to make a marriage work so if you know he's not the "best" for you then how do you plan on being able to spend the rest of your life with him?
2007-08-31 05:44:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know that he's not the best for you, then you need to move on. I know it hurts - I've been there! But now I'm with someone who is more than I ever dreamed of!! He's a dream come true, and then some. The point is, don't settle. I understand that you love him, but the problems don't go away once you're married. Don't you want to be with someone who you know is the best thing for you?
2007-08-31 06:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You WILL survive without him - and believe it or not, you will even be happy again down the road, without him. If he is not "the best" for you, and you see it even now (with the rose-colored glasses on), can you imagine what it's going to be like once you're together all the time, for a long-long time? Why settle for this? Not every relationship works out; that's the fact of life, and this is the risk you take going in. Don't let desperation or fear color your decisions; they are bad advisers.
2007-08-31 05:54:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek couples counseling or pre-marital counseling IMMEDIATELY, with or without your boyfriend.
You can't make him love you, and loving him doesn't mean he is the best mate for you. But if you're willing to examine and work through some issues, who might be able to fix some of the ongoing problems in the relationship.
2007-08-31 05:56:20 · answer #10 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A one year old really isnt mature enough for marriage.
But seriously, why dont you guys get away somewhere on your own away from family pressures. When you guys are alone together, see if you still have these fights.
Maybe you guys are good together but need to get away permanently from the families.
2007-08-31 11:28:25 · answer #11 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋